DH thinks he’s King Fucking Solomon

[TheKrakening3]

DH just returned from 10 days overseas. He brought back one of those hotel-branded teddy bears you get in fancy hotel rooms. Just one. We have three young children who pounced on it like a rugby scrum. Cue screaming and wailing and bear tug o war.

I have maintained an unnatural level of demented serenity for the last 10 days but lost it at this point and binned the bear while DH made pathetic mumbles about the kids getting the bear on a weekly rotational basis. Which, as he works long days, would be up to me to enforce.

WIBU to bin the bear?

The Queen of Sheba.........or Salome.

OP - where is the bear's head?

OH and I stayed in a hotel which gave you a fancy rubber duck when you left. I have 2 DDs, so asked for another one, which they happily gave to me. Didn't mention that the DDs were 16 and 20 at the time.

Will noone think of the bear?

where is the bear's head?

On a platter.

With a side order of chips.

He's not Solomon unless there's the threat of a bear slice and dicing.

Actually, isn't the OP in the King Solomon role in this scenario, i.e. the one having to make the tricky judgement?

"However, it is meeting it’s sad fate on bin day."

Are you always so wasteful? Can you not give it to a charity shop, children's hospice or similar?

My sister and I were given a vinyl album to share. We had a side each. True story.

Sell the bear and buy gin (for you).

Wasn't ideal no but weekly rota sounds good. Like PP has said, won't be too long and they'll probably have forgotten about it.

I feel for you. I would have done the same.

Oh please 🙄

What a twat

Noooo! Retrieve bear. Hand to dh to resolve while you are away at the weekend. 2 days of him organising a rota (I suggest dividing each day into 3 so each gets a daily turn 😈) and he will soon realise what an utter plank his idea was.

Keep the bear and bin DH? 😃😁

LTB!!!

Have an affair with the bear 🐻 and run away together.

Myimaginerycat - but did your sister charge you if you played her side? Shared a leather (yellow) jacket with my sister and somehow had to pay her each time i wore it, which I did. I also still owe her 17 arse kicks cos she said we would take it in turns but I would have all mine first (you had to stand still so she you in the arse whilst on the swing - which I did, 17 times).

Fattyboom you were gullible weren't you? Younger sibling per chance?

Stillnot - yep, is it that obvious

If you're going away this weekend, rescue the bear now.
Then, on your way out, open the front door a crack, shout "forbidden bear belongs to the first one who reaches it", lob the bear back in, shut the door and walk away as you hear the sound of chaos erupting in your house with the knowledge that your dh has to deal with it solo for the weekend...

I have to say that this sounds like the best course. I actually laughed out loud reading it, prompting a suspicious "what's so funny" from my 9yo.

The other day my parents took my kids (2 years old) for lunch. For dessert my dad ordered a giant pink strawberry cheesecake with chocolate sprinkles and a side of ice cream for himself, and 2 stingy fruit ice lollies for the kids. You can guess who ended up with the cheesecake.

This thread is an utter joy

I'm so glad I was an only child until I was 18! 😂

Philomena - I envy you. I used to write notes saying "Fatty only" and place it on the best armchair thinking that would sort the chair v pouffe issue. Oh no, sister added "on Fridays" to my note.

I'd have made you both sit on the floor! 😂

My mum used to make me sit on the floor (I'm a little sister, too - no chairs left for me), until I melted the soles of my super new plastic sandals on her super new carpet in front of her super new faux log electric fire.

She went postal.