DH thinks he’s King Fucking Solomon

[TheKrakening3]

DH just returned from 10 days overseas. He brought back one of those hotel-branded teddy bears you get in fancy hotel rooms. Just one. We have three young children who pounced on it like a rugby scrum. Cue screaming and wailing and bear tug o war.

I have maintained an unnatural level of demented serenity for the last 10 days but lost it at this point and binned the bear while DH made pathetic mumbles about the kids getting the bear on a weekly rotational basis. Which, as he works long days, would be up to me to enforce.

WIBU to bin the bear?

I am in Singapore on Saturday- is it silky?

Better to be King Solomon than King Herod- the killer of bears

Didn't he bring the rubber ducks? They are better than the bears.

If my DS is any guide on these things, such incidents are remembered and brought up shortly after the 19th birthday when fielding questions about where the student loan went

I would do a quick Jesus of Nazareth type Lazarus move on the bear and I will send you his long lost family.

Didn't he bring the rubber ducks? They are better than the bears

Do you want to start a war in The Krakening house .

Or is it one of THOSE ducks .

In which case OP should have one seeing as DH is in the doghouse for a bit.

It's exactly the sort of thing which happened to us as children. We managed to cope with weekly rotations, nihtly turns, etc etc etc.

Get your kids used to sharing longer term.

Spartacus it's a bear. Not a meerkat

Sorry. Non comprehende sil vous plait.

I once heard a story about a dad with twins who got them one bike to share.

I know two sisters who got a pair of roller skates to share between them. They had a skate each.

Shared a bike, a pair of roller skates and several boyfriends with my sister.

And a leather jacket.

Better to be King Solomon than King Herod- the killer of bears

That's what I thought. You, OP are a MURDERER!!!!!!!

I know two sisters who got a pair of roller skates to share between them. They had a skate each.

This was me and my sister!

Is that Carol?

I would have hidden the bear then given it to them on the way out the door to your weekend away.

Your husband really is a complete idiot and worse still made you the "bad guy" with his idiocy.

I would have declared the bear mine tbh. Then awarded said bear to best behaved/most helpful/whatever child of the day to have overnight.

This. Make it into an opportunity. They'll lose interest soon enough.

Apparently if you're on honeymoon you get three bears. Preemptivel strike?

Bin your DH.

Charity shop surely! Don't just add to landfill with no reason!!!!

Can’t you donate the bear to a hospital or charity or something? Seems a shame to throw out a perfectly good (and innocent of any wrong doing!) bear just because your husband’s a nit and your kids have gone Lord of the Flies

Alternatively, take the bear away with you this weekend and leave it in your hotel - just make sure they don’t have your address or they’ll send it back and you’ll never get rid!

Some of you are cracking me up!

@IdahoJones and @LeighaJ love your style!

Genius idea to award the bear daily to the best behaved.

I had a bog standard teaspoon embossed with LT that I somehow acquired during my time working for London Transport. Coincidentally my kids are called Leonard and Tatiana (not really but you get the drift).

The best behaved kid got to eat their after tea yoghurt with the Leonard and Tatiana spoon. For many years it was a more effective control tool than any threat or bribe. Divide and conquer, that's what I say.

Btw TheKrakening, if you do remove the bear from the palace of King Solomon, this will effectively make you the Queen of Sheba.

Although she was rumoured to a have a hairy leg and a goats foot, so perhaps the bin is a good plan 👀

My Auntie Nell used to send the three of us a fiver in a christmas card. My mum had to go to the post office in the snow every year to break it into coins so we all got our rightful one pound and sixty six pence.

After tense negotiations we let the remaining penny go.

If you're going away this weekend, rescue the bear now.

Then, on your way out, open the front door a crack, shout "forbidden bear belongs to the first one who reaches it", lob the bear back in, shut the door and walk away as you hear the sound of chaos erupting in your house with the knowledge that your dh has to deal with it solo for the weekend...

You simply cannot Bin a Teddy bear, it's just not the done thing,its very cruel ! If the teddy is passed around and fought over it will get all grubby quickly. I would tell the children it has to be kept looking nice at all times, and it's going to be put on a high shelf whatever, and be like an ornament teddy from now on. Children will have to understand, and you have to have some control.

OP - your DC have been steiffed! It's unbearable.

Respect the bear.

You simply cannot Bin a Teddy bear, it's just not the done thing,its very cruel !

It is very true.

Teddy bears experience ALL of the emotions known to humankind, and a few more besides.

That poor bear . . . . . . .