To Not Want Strangers to Join a Small Family Event?

[MischaPop]

One of our Christmas family traditions is to go to a Christmas event at a local attraction. Usually as well as myself there is DP, DS, DM, DF, DMIL and DSis attend (Also sometimes DSis partner) We are looking to book for Christmas 2018 and DM has invited a couple that nobody else has met. I have told her I would rather keep it to family only. DP and DSis agree. I just think two strangers coming along changes the dynamic quite a bit! Would like opinions on whether IBU. DM is not happy that I would prefer her friends didn't join.
(Post edited by MNHQ)

How old is your DS?

YABU

There would be loads of other strangers at Beamish. I’ve been and it’s wonderful there. More the merrier.

Who hosts and cooks the meal beforehand?

If it’s your mum i can kind of see why she sees it as ‘her’ event tbh and why she’d think it was no big deal invoting extras as it’s only herself she’s putting out

If you don’t want her to do it again just get hammered and start an argument about brexit, job done

Well your DH and MIL were strangers once, and aren't your mothers family.

We always have random people invited to Christmas makes them all unique ....

It is after all a time for sharing and being thankful

Embrace the new people

Ooh Christmassy Beamish-good idea!
Quite frankly I love it when people outside my immediate family are invited for actual Christmas day. It dilutes the suffocating madness of my mother family.
So YABU. Branch out, meet some new people. It might be nice.
I'm trying to persuade ds that it would be better to abandon xmas this year altogether and go to a different (preferably Muslim) country. I have 3 months to convince him. I'm thinking Morocco.

Who invited your MIL?

YANBU and I understand why you're pissed off. You have this nice family tradition and now your DM has just invited two random strangers without running it past anyone else first. Plus, she wants YOU to pay for them! Why on earth do you have buy their tickets? Tickets to Beamish are done online and they can easily buy their own. I think your DM is being a bit of an arse tbh. Would she be happy if you turned up with a couple of people from your work?

Well I would be ok with it but I am not over keen on doing the same things year after year at Christmas. It is nice to do different things or meet new people. My family would all be ok with 2 new people coming along. The more the merrier.

Beamish looks lovely, OP, count me and DH in (you’ll love us). I live rather a long way away, OK if we crash at yours?

Oh, and I’ll give you the money for the tickets on the day.

How many years have you been doing a this tradition for?

Are the tickets out already?
I'm only 5 mins away and go all the time, I think you'll still have a fab time regardless. I understand the dynamics will change but it will be packed and the paths won't fit you all in a line anyway so you'll all be in separate little groups so surely your DM can be in a group with her friends and you and everyone else can just make occasional small talk with them?

Let's see, December 14th evening event at Beamish:

www.beamish.org.uk/events/christmas-evening-14th/

Shall we all go?

Tickets go on sale 5th Sept.

Another vote for you are being precious. Your MIL goes so presumably you are allowed to invite people.

Beamish is brilliant at Christmas and they're not strangers they're your mother's friends! Surely the more the merrier, it is Christmas, you sound a bit bah humbug

Hang on, is this all a clever stealth advertising campaign by Beamish? Oh, well played!

Sept 5th? Is there a wait list?

"I always seem to be the one that organises and books things - So DM basically said make sure you buy two more tickets"

You could always conveniently 'forget' that you had to buy two extra tickets.

Never thought of that. V clever, Beamish!

Oh, and yes, I understand where the OP is coming from, I am very shy and very socially awkward, and I would find it extremely difficult.

We always welcome extra guests to things we do at Christmastime in my family so from my perspective you seem mean spirited.

I would be absolutely fuming! My sister did this once Christmas - invited her friend to a family Christmas Day at her house. The friend tried to monopolize the whole day, telling us where to put wrapping paper, taking off the music my sister had out on and changing it for her own. My DH and I lived abroad at that time and family moments were precious to us. The friend talked to my brother, even taking him to a different room, and ruined any chance of the rest of us talking to him and catching up on family news. (I can feel my blood pressure rising just typing this...!)
A stranger can ruin a family gathering....please don't do it.

Your sister invited her friend to her house at Christmas? Cheeky fucker, how dare she?

Your sister invited her friend to her house at Christmas? Cheeky fucker, how dare she?