Separated for a year, and I’m now on good terms with ex. He was dropping the DC off today, he told me that ex MIL has been complaining to him about ex SILs new DH. How he’s this and that, he’s a loner, not social, always hiding in the bedroom when she comes round. And SILs DH refused to come to a family event because MIL was there (she doesn’t know this)
Now this woman has put me through hell for 7 years when I was with her son, I tried so hard to get on with her but she would always slag me off behind my back, give me silent treatment for days on end for no reason, told her son he deserved better and tried to set her son up with other women multiple times(when seeing an attractive women in public or tv, she’d always ask her son “don’t she look nice”, “she’s beautiful isn’t she?” right in front me out of spite) she’d always make me feel awkward, she’d never talk to me unless I spoke to her first etc. She loves to judge other people and their lives/parenting, even though she has no friends, no job, no social life and spends all her time at her daughters/sons house.
Towards the end of my marriage, I realised I’d never get on with her no matter how much I tried, so I distanced myself from her and whenever she came round, I’d go out or stay in the bedroom. I also used to think about how she would be with the new DIL, would she like her more than me etc. All those thoughts used to go through my mind, but today I realised something. She will never change, she will never be a better MIL to the new DIL.
I remember smiling as ex was telling me all this, not because I was happy about the situation. But relieved in a way, because I realised, it’s not me ITS HER!
Now that I’m out of her life, she set her teeth in BIL. Poor guy.
I know there are women on MN who are confused as to why their MIL doesn’t like them despite their efforts, or wondering if they will be nicer to the new DIL. Know that if your MIL doesn’t like you despite your efforts, it has nothing to do with you.