So my friend is in emotionally abusive relationship and her way of dealing with it is to become a carbon copy of her boyfriend to avoid criticism. So she dresses like him, has the same interests as him and shares his opinions on everything. Everything. Including the fact he is racist.
This became a problem when she came to visit me in London this weekend. We were on the tube on the way home and there was a black couple opposite us. And she sent me a message saying "black peoples lips are huuuge" I was mortified and had no idea how to respond so said "you've been living in East Sussex for too long" and she just said "at least I knew to send it in text rather than say it out loud!"
I was mortified especially as there was a black guy sat next to me on the Tube and the idea that he could of seen the text and thought I was in agreement, and felt uncomfortable was awful.
Now she wasn't racist before getting with her racist emotionally abusive partner. But nonetheless she is now and we have a few theatre trips and concerts in London again over the next few months.
I do not want to be put in that situation again. How do I deal with this when I know I am the only friend she can ring in when he has locked her out of the house in the middle of the night or has been texting ex girl friends. And I don't want that to break down. But at the same time I will not be made to feel uncomfortable with her racist comments in future?