Brave The Shave - NOT IN MY NAME

[TwitterQueen1]

I know IANBU but posting here for traffic.

I see Macmillan is now advertising BTS on tv. It doesn't seem to matter how many of us protest that the whole campaign:

• is extremely offensive and upsetting
• trivialises and minimises the effects of chemo
• claims that it makes people understand what it's like to have cancer

Would you paint black and bruises on your face to 'show support' for victims of DV?

Would you tie one leg behind your back and hop around town to 'show support' for those with disabilities?

• Do you know that Macmillan are asking those who've done BTS is "How are enjoying your new look?" or even worse - "Hope you're enjoying your new look!" WT actual Fuck. I mean, us cancer patients absolutely ADORE losing all our hair and feeling like total shit for months.... and random healthy strangers indulging in narcissistic, attention-grabbing stunts makes us feel even better.

And (in response to my complaint) these offensive statements apparently fall within Macmillan's social media guidelines'?

Bathe in baked beans, run marathons, walk a mile, hold coffee mornings.... do ANYTHING ELSE, but don't pretend for a second that shaving your head helps you understand how cancer patients feel. You have absolutely no idea at all. None.

toffeepennie do you mind if I ask why? I’ve seen a couple of posters say they would never donate to Macmillan, and I wondered what was the reasoning behind your dislike for the charity?

I've skimmed some of the thread, but just adding my fury! I've had cancer, my dad's had cancer and my mum's just been diagnosed. Macmillan have never been there for us - I didn't ever see a Macmillan nurse - and their campaigns are horrible. They really don't seem to care how triggering and distressing their adverts are, and brave the fucking shave is the icing on the cake. It's insensitive and insulting. An earlier poster said that you don't speak for all cancer survivors, OP, but you should know that you speak for me and for all the women in my large support group.

Last note for Quinoa - I had acupuncture through chemo, and my on old team were on board with it. It has been shown to help with side effects, and it certainly helped with mine (I had FEC-T)

That's oncology team not old!

Macmillan are an organisation which has fuck all to do with the proper cancer care. They don't give drugs, don't provide personal care. They are not hospital nurses or a hospice or Marie Curie. All they do is advise. And educate, and sometimes apply for grants.
The nurses need to be Masters educated and they can be helpful but they aren't absolutely necessary. Not having them wouldn't be a detriment to someone's care.
IMO if you are going to do something as offensive and triggering as BTS it should at least go to hospices, cancer research or cancer wards, somewhere where they actually make a difference.
Also sick of seeing someone with a head turban make meaningful glances and embraces with a friend at a fictitious cake and coffee morning on the advert.
Just do what a poster upthread said and ask people to give a tenner.

The problem I have with the BTS campaign is the word brave. People who choose to shave their heads aren't brave.

And I also hate the 'fight' cancer bollocks. You don't fight it you're given the drugs and hope for the fucking best. If it doesn't work it's not because you didn't fight hard enough.

exactly indeed. EVERYTHING about the campaign just makes my blood boil.

Apparently there was a BTS chugger in town on Saturday, shaking a bucket and giving out leaflets. Unfortunately s/he'd gone by the time I knew about it... I have written to my local rag though - maybe they'll take more notice than Macmillan.

With all due respect Twitter that was a very harsh reply to Matte. She is absolutely correct in what she said. No I am not a bald cancer patient. Unfortunately I am a bereaved mother who lost her only son to cancer. He had a brain tumour and did not survive the op so never even got a chance to have chemo. My friend did this a couple of years ago after her father died and raised a lot of money for a good cause. I understand your feelings as I personally can’t stand the cancer research we are coming to get you campaigns but I can recognise that they do a lot of good. Sorry for what you are going for but other people are entitled to think differently to you.

I'm finding this really weird. You don't like the campaign 🤷🏻‍♀️ don't donate. Find another cause to donate to. How can you get angry at people making an effort to raise money? You would be better directing your energy at raising money or doing good rather than this bitter negativity. For every person that finds it insensitive, another will be prompted to donate to a cause they hadn't previously considered. Bore off and find some joy in life 😊

And what were you going to do to the chugger if she'd still been there 🤦🏻‍♀️

lakehouse I seriously suggest you AS TwitterQueen and see what she's going through before you glibly tell her to find some joy in life.

Lakehouse read the thread before posting stupid comments.

@AuntieStella so why waste precious energy hating people who are trying to help?!

lakehouse, try RTFT before you post inanity.

I read it and it prompted me to go and give the campaign a big donation and share it on my SM. Such nastiness against those doing good.

Dear God, that's the most contrarian thing I've ever read.

Hope you enjoyed your FB virtue signalling lake house.

lakehouse it’s not bitterness, it’s not negativity it’s a real positive strength to stop a horrid way of raising funds that causes distress and offence to many who have or who are on the cancer treadmill (good word!).
Of course, not everyone is offended but a good number are and no, the end result does not justify the means. Macmillan are offending the very people they purport to support.
The Black and White Minstrel show used to entertain many people on a Saturday night. That doesn’t make it acceptable, does it? A charity clearing land mines investing capital in an arms trading business wouldn’t sit comfortably would it?

There are much ‘braver’ more challenging ways to fundraisers than having a haircut.

Is sharing a link to a campaign virtue signalling? What do you call it for those on this thread who have been bashing the campaign online?

I don’t donate, snoopy, because when my grandad was died of cancer, all the money collected in his name wasn’t even acknowledged by the charity. They simply sent a letter back with a “you could also fill this envelope” not even a thank you. My nans name wasn’t mentioned, except on the outside of the envelope, no condolences, nothing. I phoned head office as it hurt my Nan deeply and they said it’s standard. Oh and the money had been sent to their admin team in Glasgow to help fund their postage costs, not to actually provide any real help. My Nan was in bits, and was truly devastated.
Because of this we as a family decided Macmillan were not for us.
However the lifeboats (got half the money raised) sent back a lovely letter, mentioned the amount and asked my Nan for my grandads name as they had used the money as the last bit towards their newest lifeboat and would my Nan mind if they named it after him in his honour as without the final bit of money they’d never have bought it. My Nan of course said yes. So there is a boat out there saving lives with my grandads name on it. Not to mention, they regularly send my Nan updates on “grandads boat” and let her know what they are doing with her (not very regular) donations. And it’s not just once she’s sent a donation either!

Are you really this insensitive, lakehouse? Really? Words bloody fail me. And that doesn't happen often.

I think it probably depends on context, I agree with you in some cases but I think sometimes shaving your hair if you have a child or partner etc that is particularly conscious of losing their hair may be supporting them whilst also raising some money.

I don't know much about Macmillan other than they pump prime some nhs posts.

But as far as Brave the Shave I see what you mean OP. It feels distasteful to me.

I have always disliked any kind of battle metaphors when it comes to illness and disease because I remember how much my two relatives felt they failed and cancer won or beaten them (their words) - when one Nan couldn't have any more active treatment and my Auntie chose to stop palliative treatment due to side effects. I think they felt they'd been weak etc because of all the talk of fighting and bravery ifyswim.

so why waste precious energy hating people who are trying to help?

They don't hate the people, they hate the campaign.

For extremely good reasons, which even the most cursory reading of the thread would make readily understandable.

Bit off for someone to come on and tell posters with cancer that they're doing cancer wrong and that they should be joyous when they find something offensive.

You don't lose your ability to have opinions about anything and everything just because of your diagnosis. Nor should you be restrained from expressing them because the are nit us.

The close to unanimous view of those living with cancer themselves has been very illuminating