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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be wound up by this "gift"

129 replies

DieAntword · 25/08/2018 10:46

MIL visits, along with the usual assortment of charity shop toys and t-shirts which have slogans on (which are not my taste but hey, something to wear when doing messy stuff) she always brings she brought her friend's decades old (must be, her kids are adults) mouldy (so lets put this into perspective... it must not have been cleaned in those decades!) potty. A second hand, dirty, potty.

We have a potty. My son is now potty trained and using the toilets. We have no need for a disgusting dirty decades old potty.
I am not sure how I can express how much I don't want this.

I told her we don't need it and she said she had no room for it in the car. This morning I go downstairs and notice she has dumped it in my bottle box. Where the baby bottles live. A decades old mouldy potty.

When I took it to throw it out I made sure she could see what I was doing. She passed no comment whatsoever.

OP posts:
NaomiNagata · 25/08/2018 10:49

I love that you threw it out infront of her. Well done!!

I tend to be more forceful about saying no and walking them back to their car to put it there, but now I wish I'd chucked stuff in the bin so they could see!

Confusedbeetle · 25/08/2018 10:51

All a bit childish really. I am not surprised that so many relationships fail when no one makes any effort

Original poster
DieAntword · 25/08/2018 10:52

All a bit childish really. I am not surprised that so many relationships fail when no one makes any effort

That escalated quickly. No relationships are failing here, I'm just astonished at how gross it was.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 25/08/2018 10:52

i hate it that you threw it out in front of her.
how mean you are.

Dollymixture22 · 25/08/2018 10:53

Brilliant.

My mother is the same. She was given a second hand ancient car seat for my niece. We didn’t know if it met safety regulations or even how we would begin to fit it. She acted like we were being totally unreasonable not using it. There is something about getting something for nothing - even if that something is utterly useless!

They will then bitch about the younger generations wasteful attitudes😁

Original poster
DieAntword · 25/08/2018 10:54

i hate it that you threw it out in front of her.

I'd never do that with the rest of the tat she brings, but I don't believe anyone is stupid enough to think someone else actually wants a dirty potty, which means it was clearly using me as a rubbish disposal service, a little unfair considering she drives and we don't and she could have just taken it to the dump. I think I was well within my rights.

OP posts:
NaomiNagata · 25/08/2018 10:55

@Slartybartfast

So someone continually brings 'gifts' to your home which are just junk. You've told them you don't need or want that stuff. Then they bring a dirty, mouldy used potty... And she's the mean one for throwing it out?

Do you not think the MIL is the rude one here?

Why do we need to accept rude behaiour? And if we don't, we're mean?

FrancisCrawford · 25/08/2018 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissusGeneHunt · 25/08/2018 10:56

I think I would have tried to break it when she wasn't looking, then said 'oh whoops! So sorry, look what I've done... Nevermind, good job it's not needed!!' then chucked it!

What's done is now done, and at least it's gone....

Slartybartfast · 25/08/2018 10:57

but people can be polite - might help

Slartybartfast · 25/08/2018 10:58

why is the mil rude?

Daffodils07 · 25/08/2018 10:59

My fil is the same, he has a habit of bringing round woman's clothing for my dds.
They are 9 and 10 and are tiny, when I told him he then said my 17 year old son could wear them ffs!

NamasteNamaste · 25/08/2018 11:03

I love that you threw it out infront of her. Well done!!

i hate it that you threw it out in front of her.
how mean you are.

I love / hate opposing opinions

Slartybartfast · 25/08/2018 11:04

she is your mil op, be nice

Piffle11 · 25/08/2018 11:06

One Christmas my MIL gave DC gift each, and in DS1's bag was a scrunched up old sweatshirt that had belonged to her oldest DGC: 'thought he might like it', she said … it was filthy. Had what looked like dried mashed potato all over the front. Oldest DGC is 3 years older than DS1, so it was possibly 3 year old mash! I just couldn't believe that not only she hadn't washed it, it was just shoved in his Christmas bag! It was actually stuck together with food particles in some places, you know, when you have to sort of rip it apart to fully unfold it. Grim! Went in the bin when we got home.

user1andonly · 25/08/2018 11:08

I think Slarty is being deliberately obtuse here - or perhaps she's the mil!

When my 95 year old gran rescued some ancient, dusty, tacky Christmas decorations from the bin at her sheltered housing complex and gave them to me, I thanked her and took them home to bin so she never knew.

However, presumably this mil is in her 50/60's and quite capable of understanding that no one would want a horrible old potty - OP tried to politely say she didn't want/need it and mil foisted it on her anyway!

Mil is not being nice to OP!

Slartybartfast · 25/08/2018 11:10

i dont think i am obtuse,
but i dont see the point in aggravation

TwistedStitch · 25/08/2018 11:11

I'm always very polite about any gifts, wanted or not. But I certainly wouldn't be 'nice' about an old mouldy potty, it wasn't 'nice' of MIL to bring it into your home in the first place!

Slartybartfast · 25/08/2018 11:12

i cant compare as my mil died when ds was 6 months.

Slartybartfast · 25/08/2018 11:12

is there a back story op?

TwistedStitch · 25/08/2018 11:12

Aggravation is the MIL refusing to take back a dirty mouldy unwanted potty, and then proceeding to place it with the baby's bottles.

PurpleFlower1983 · 25/08/2018 11:14

Just be kind, she didn’t mean any harm.

Original poster
DieAntword · 25/08/2018 11:15

is there a back story op?

Not really? She's a bit of a hoarder so maybe she has a different appreciation of junk than me, but obviously not enough of one to have wanted to keep the dirty potty herself!

OP posts:
neveradullmoment99 · 25/08/2018 11:16

Oh dear. I think were very rude doing that. She was only trying to help. I think you were very offensive and there was no need for that.

Fang2468 · 25/08/2018 11:17

I would find it hard to be accepting of a mouldy potty - I think you did the right thing. I bought a potty for about £3 from Asda - it’s not something I would ever think would need to be passed on to another family!
Hopefully she will realise your house is not a dumping ground for everyone else’s old shite.