Given your latest post, I would want to know if he was this lazy why she was still working outside the home? (I suspect yes, particularly given he's not even bothering with the "men's" tasks! People generally don't change the basics of who the are - a lazy person will always be a lazy person. Which then begs the question why was she fool enough to have more DC with him?! There's an element of choice on her part in this!)
Hobbies - seems on mn aka an excuse to get out of doing ANYTHING at home! Not acceptable that he's doing hobbies while doing sod all to contribute to home life!
PurpleCrazyHorse that sounds like you've worked out an arrangement that suits you and where you're not under pressure to do more than you can cope with (and neither is he) that's fair enough (re work shirts - my ex being army obviously wore uniform, I'm pretty good at ironing but he made the mistake of complaining the creases in his trousers weren't sharp enough once quite early in our marriage - I bundled them up, and threw them back in the basket and said 'fine! Do your own uniform from now on!' Which he did)
Wormzy - how many you got and what are age gaps? Would your other half day they did absolutely nothing at home? Do any of your DC have any health issues? Do you? Because - shock horror - not every child, nor every mother is the same!
I only have 1 DC, but, unbeknown to me at the time (another factor is Dx can take many years) has a disability which I know NOW is why they had particular problems with colic, teething, general bugs when they had them, speech and mobility. She was also (and still is) a very poor sleeper, I'm talking didn't sleep through until she was at school - again - now know this was partly due to the disability which as undx at the time I didn't know this linked in to other things. Even so, I would still say I did the bulk of the housework (especially during toddler years when it's like shovelling snow in a blizzard!) and the house was sparkling (probably more than most too as I have OCD, which flared up quite badly at this point). Doesn't mean it's ok for working outside home parent to do NOTHING including leaving their own mess for another adult to clear up after!
"My grandad used to scrub/peel dirty veg. It was considered a mans job" yep - I remember that being the case too, dirty jobs were men's work.
Bumpitybumper - excellent point about wohp seeming to think they can set what sahp is capable of in that time (and usually with no experience of doing the same themselves!) I agree it's down to a poor and outdated power dynamic. Funnily enough I'm currently watching 'call the midwife' and the expectations placed on wives and mothers not just by their husbands, but sometimes by the wives/mothers themselves is shocking. Just watched an episode where a pregnant woman basically put her life at risk by trying to stay looking and dressing as she did pre-pregnancy (garters, high heels, getting up before husband to do hair and make up despite being clearly knackered). In the script the husband was 'a good un' and didn't seem to be the one placing that expectation on her BUT I could totally understand where the pregnant mum's character was coming from - I'm saying its 'of its era' but actually my ex was a git about my weight post-pregnancy!
Sadly it's clear (just look at the number of threads on mn) that not only are too many men still perpetuating old fashioned expectations BUT as I said in earlier post they're actually doing LESS than previous generations of men did.