DP was middleaged and a bachelor when I and my two kids moved in (me pregnant with his first DD). He lived in a pristine home. I warned him that kids (esp babies) mean lots of stuff. I warned him that adding 4 people to a 3 bed house would mean more stuff in the house. He said he understood.
I have tried. My clothes are all away - folded and nothing hanging out of drawers. The kids have to tidy their room before bed, and no toys in sitting room. Everything has its place, but each place is full. (Worth noting he has a wardrobe and drawers stuffed haphazardly full of clothes he doesn't wear, and the ones he wears that I clean, iron and fold for him are left in a pile on a blanket box and not put away).
This morning he went off on one, announcing I am out of control - and so is the house - because the storage is full. It is so untidy he can't live with it. I need to throw my clothes out because my drawers are full. He even opened my underwear drawer and threw contents on the floor to demonstrate how untidy I am.
Firstly, aibu to think if it's put away neatly, not hanging out and not visible then it's not untidy? (I am no minimalist but always thought if was but away properly was tidy). I might be u here - views please!
Secondly, aibu to think pulling my underwear out of a closed drawer is invading my privacy?
Thirdly, I know compromise is good and necessary, but aibu to think telling me to chuck my stuff or he'll leave is ott and frankly a bit controlling?
He is a good man, and I get he likes a tidy home, and I get he was feeling overwhelmed, but I am thinking he needs to calm the fuck down - and clear his own shit first!