Well off friend in council house

[toughtimes2001]

Please tell me if I am being unfair.

My friend and her partner (mid 20's) earn a combined salary of of £65K (no kids) and have a cheap council tenancy home with a massive garden in a lovely part of London (her partner sneakily inherited the tenancy from his deceased father a couple of years back). The have a lovely life with plenty of disposable income as their rent is very cheap and go on lovely holidays and are saving up a massive deposit for their own home which they intend to buy in a couple of years. I should also add, she has very wealthy parents who dish out money to them left right and centre for various things throughout the year.

Meanwhile, I a single mum earn £19K (no family support) privately rent a rubbish 1 bedroom flat (which is more in rent than they pay) in a rubbish part of town with no hope of ever buying a home or taking my DS on a luxury holiday. I have also been told I am not a priority for housing so no hope for me any time soon!

Am I right to think this is just completely unfair?

to be honest, it IS about decisions, bad ones or whatever, but it is also about luck, massively.

You may notice that the majority of women who have done well out of housing, did so with a partner. Not all, by any means, before anyone starts, but yes a majority.

BMW6 you sound a bit thick tbh.

My life has not been as glamorous, fancy or Brad Pitt-filled as Angelina Jolie's - does this mean that life is unfair and I should feel bitter about it?

No, because I have my own life, with considerably less paparazzi intrusion and extra-marital affairs.

It's swings and roundabouts, OP. I'm sure you're grateful to have something your friend doesn't - a beautiful DS? Count your blessings.

yes count your blessings. for example the friend I mentioned upthread, the one with her parents house sold to her and her mortgage paying BF at half price..well she doesn't have her health, which I do. And I am really grateful for that, tbh.
I am sure you can find a better house if you want to.
Also, it's not a balancing equation is it? I mean, you and your friends? if they moved out to a worse situation, it wouldn't improve yours.

They aren’t doing anything wrong but I understand the ops concern that state resource are not being allocated to those who best need it. It is unfair but I understand why you would take advantage of it if you could.

YANBU and YABU op.

We lived in a shitty, freezing cold, damp, mouldy private rented house for 9 years. And for 2 years me and baby dd squashed into a single bedroom at my mums while I saved up deposit/furniture money/first months rent.

In the time we were living in the grotty house my friends mum died. She fought for and got awarded the tenancy on the 3 bed house with a big garden in the area I was desperate for. And I felt pretty pissed off about the unfairness of it.

Then nearly 4 years ago we got a 3 bed new build on a beautiful housing estate, with most of the houses owner occupiers paying 150k plus for their property.

DH and I are both self employed. At the moment things are going OK. We can afford luxuries. We manage (with a bit of sacrifice and lots of work) to keep 2 ponies. No doubt many would say that if we can afford ponies we ought to give the social housing back and buy or rent somewhere else.

However we would never get a mortgage. DH is 50, a builder, had some serious health issues. My business is good but not a regular income and literally impossible to predict. We pay bills from DHs wages, save mine for emergencies and nice things.

So we would give up our secure tenancy, never be able to buy barring a lottery win, pay more in rent and never have the opportunity to improve our situation.

Social housing is desperately needed by many people in many different circumstances. Sadly it's seen now as 'only for emergencies' but that was never what it was for. It was to give working class families somewhere secure, affordable and decent to live.

And though I know how frustrating it is when everything seems so unfair there will always be someone worse off than you who would take priority over you if it was assigned strictly on a need basis, worst case gets it.

I hope your situation improves eventually. It's very difficult so yanbu to be pissed off. But your friends aren't really the problem, the problem is a lack of social housing and house prices and rent prices making social housing the only secure option for so many people.

Why isn't he buying his council house ?

he might have ethics, I suppose.

OP I have friends' who were given council properties between 18-21 because one or both parents died. A lot are still living in these properties over 20 years later on a variety of incomes. They, like me, have had to go through their lives with no parents. So while it is unfair for you to live in a horrid private rental, it is also unfair to lose your parents young. However you can get out of the situation of living in a horrid private rental, but dead parents never come back.

Must have missed the memo where council houses are only for poor people. I was earning £50k at one point when I lived with my parents in their council house, our home, short of government interference I would not have left until I needed to, or was asked to by my parents. I'm in my own private home now, and I suppose even now there'll be some people on here who think I shouldn't be in a house bigger than I currently need as well, and it should go to a family with children, because they need it more than me.

They earn more than three times what you do between them anyway so wherever they live they are always going to have a higher standard of living than you are. Even private renting they would still have more disposable income.

I get that you are feeling crap about your situation but them living in a council property is not the cause of it neither would them giving it up change it. They have been saving since 18/19 for a house deposit good on them. They aren’t doing anything wrong.

Also tax payers do not subsidise council housing the majority of people pay full rent. It’s private rents that are over inflated not council rents that are too low.

How do people on mumsnet always know exactly what everyone else is earning

Well I don't think it's unfair that they took the opportunity and continue to take it. We all take advantage of random bits of lucky unfairness all the time.

If you live in the catchment area of an outstanding state school then you're not going to say "oh it's unfair that my child will get a better education than their mate in the next town will, so I'll move to the catchment area of a shit school so that my child isn't taking up a scarce good thing" are you?

Taking advantage of what gets handed to you on a plate isn't the fault of individuals. The blame lies with the decision makers. I agree it would be fair enough if the government legislated to prevent rich people having council houses when there are homeless people on the streets, but I don't see the point in vilifying individuals.

He didn't exactly "sneakily inherit" the tenancy, did he? Nothing sneaky about acquiring the tenancy once his dad passed away. YABU and you come across as very bitter

£65k isn't "well off" in London by any stretch. Without a huge deposit they would struggle to buy anything at all in London on that combined wage. So it does seem sensible for them I save what they can now to increase their deposit then release the council house back into the pool for someone else who needs it.

While they could afford to rent privately, so could a lot of council tenants but short of kicking those people out when they better themselves and earn more there will always be a huge lack of council housing.

Don't you get help towards housing costs even if it is private? On 19k I would have thought you should

Why would it be more objectionable that people can inherit council house tenancies than that people can inherit houses freehold?

Council tenants pay some rent that can be used for public purposes; people that own outright pay none.

@cyantist I know what you mean re 65k not being well off in London.

I guess the problem in the eyes of the OP is that there are lots of Londoners who are even less well-off, ie much more deserving. Even if the people on 65k are struggling there is something unfair about the fact that they're allowed to occupy a subsidised property while a cleaner on 15k has to sofa surf because he/she can't either privately rent or get approved for council house. Because many have been sold

As I said I don't hold it against this couple, and I understand there are still struggles for Londoners even at that wage – I do think the system is wrong though as they're not the most deserving. I feel like there's no point having council houses at all if they're just going to go to people with household incomes four times or so that of min wage.

I think there should be a law which eases families out of council homes if they start sustainably earning several multiples of the average wage.

Vanilla - probably not enough discount yet as only been on tenancy for a short time.

Why the fuck are tenants still getting blamed when ive linked enough into the thread to show otherwise.

NC the subsidy was removed in 2010 DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

i am sick of people denigrating tenants and its even worse when its THEIR version of the truth.

once more with feeling.

HelenaDove Thu 23-Aug-18 23:33:03

And where is the ire at HAs selling off properties as HOLIDAY HOMES.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/telly_addicts/3304710-Dispatches-Getting-Rich-from-the-Housing-Crisis

much easier to blame it on tenants.

It is because of perceptions like there are on these thread that the racist and classist abuse against the Grenfell residents has been allowed to run unchecked.

Several of them have been targeted by arseholes on social media since the days just after the fire and it continues.

"freeloading bastards" is the latest thing they have been called..................just the last comments in a very long relentless chiding of them just for "daring" to live in social housing. Many think social housing should only go to those who really need it. Even if we did that............even if we did someone.....no a substancial ammount of the public would still call them "freeloading bastards" After they had been there a month a year five years. Because the goalposts would move and the tenant would lose any respect or percieved sainthood from the SH tenant haters simply from becoming a social housing tenant and then living there for a while.

Because like gamerchick says its not really about making sure social housing goes to the "right" people. Its about making sure that they must always know their place and cant have any security. And about finding a group of people you can feel superior too.

In the time we were living in the grotty house my friends mum died. She fought for and got awarded the tenancy on the 3 bed house with a big garden in the area I was desperate for. And I felt pretty pissed off about the unfairness of it.

See, it's statements like that that make me stop reading posts ...

The 'unfairness' that someone's loved one died and they 'benefited' from it... I'm sure most would do anything to have their loved one back, especially those who lose their parents when they are young themselves.

Yes, luck has a lot to do with it. But such is life. And instead of blaming individuals who do in fact get lucky, stop looking to governmental policies that have left so many people in desperate, dire conditions...

NC the subsidy was removed in 2010 DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Infuriating isn't it? makes people look like they're scrabbling at straws

We see these unfairness around us everywhere don't we? My daughter thought we are poor because we don't get to go on holidays and have iphones like her friends who live in council houses (she is not aware). We both work FT, dont get any benefits or any inheritance. We earn every penny that we spend. People say it's all about budgeting, it is true, we also try to put some towards our pensions too, who knows what will happen in the future, can't see myself finding employment when I am 65 even if I am still fit enough.

My life will be so depressed if I compare my friend who bought her council house at massive discount and sold it off, she immediately much well off than us. Instead of jealous of the sons (my brothers) who get all the family inheritance as well as benefits from the government on top. I am proud of what we do, I told my children not to expect handouts, always try to make your own situation better, plan well instead of complaining the government not give you more.

I think this is one of those situations where IRL people would agree that it is ridiculous that the taxpayer is subsiding this couple who obviously don't need it.

But on Mumsnet people seem to want to go out of their way to say how cool they are with this sort of thing because life's unfair etc.

Council housing shouldn't be inherited, it should be reviewed every 3 years or so to reassess need.