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Original poster

DD devastated with GCSE results

267 replies

chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 14:59

DD3 is devesated.

Her target grades were 8-9 for all subjects except for Maths which were 6-7. She's revised a lot, every time I've seen her in her room she's cracked on with her revision and she's given up lunch times and even stopped her dance club for a year which she's been doing for 4 years just to revise.

Last night she seemed like she was confident that she'd reach her targets but in the car on the way to school she just broke down and started to cry. She said that she had a bad feeling.

She told me about a month ago she felt so nervous in her exams and all she could feel was knots in her stomach and she could barely even focus.

She's opened her results for a 6 in every subject except from Maths which was a 3 and a 4 in Geography.

Any advice I should give her? Most of today she's been up in her room crying and on her phone not talking to anyone.

OP posts:
Hilda40 · 23/08/2018 15:03

Sympathy at her disappointment. However excuse my ignorance is a 6 a pass, albeit not a great one?

Twotailed · 23/08/2018 15:04

Oh OP - your poor DD, and poor you! GCSEs feel like the biggest thing in the world when you’re going through them.

From a practical perspective, does this actually stop her from being able to proceed with A levels? If so, and she wants to do A levels, consider her options for resitting the essentials so she can progress. If not, then remind her that GCSEs make almost no difference once you leave school. As long has you have passing grades in maths and English, nobody cares what you got. Reassure her that this is no measure of her worth and no sign that she can’t have the future she wants.

If she goes on to do more exams, it sounds like she could do with some coaching on exam technique and management of her nerves. Could you talk to her school about the possibilities of them assisting her with that?

NicoAndTheNiners · 23/08/2018 15:05

The advice I would give her is that as long as she’s done well enough to get into the next stage nobody will care. I’m assuming she will have to do maths again, obv that’s a bit shit for her. But will school take her on for the a levels she wants? If so that’s really what matters.

When she goes back to sixth form she needs to ask for help with exam technique. Figuring out some ways to combat nerves??

I think 6 is equivalent to an old (low) B. I would have been happy with a B in every subject.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:05

A lot of pressure was put on by friends and teachers to reach the targets of 8-9.

I've tried to tell her 6 is very good but she's still not convinced.

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 23/08/2018 15:08

There's nothing to be done about the grades now. Help her accept and move on. But there us a lesson to be learned in this, she does not cope well with pressure. You need to take an active role in preventing the same from happening again.

FASH84 · 23/08/2018 15:08

If it's enough to get her to the next stage, they really don't matter after that, no one cares what GCSE results you got once you have A levels, exam support around stress and emotional management would help for her AS levels though

BlackInk · 23/08/2018 15:10

Poor girl :(
Can you make her her favourite meal or take her a cuppa and a biscuit? A hug and a chat when she's ready. She obviously has a mum who loves her, which counts for a lot.
Practically speaking there's lots that can be done. Are the grades good enough for her to go on and do what she wanted to? If they are then she can just put them behind her and move on. If not, she can retake key subjects. There will be a way. Exams, grades, further education and highly paid work aren't everything. Some of the most wonderful and happiest people I know didn't get good GCSEs. But if good GCSEs are really important to her then she can keep trying until she gets them.
Empathise. Acknowledge how disappointed and upset she is. Help her to acknowledge the great things she has done - all that hard work. Then onwards and upwards x

Mrsmadevans · 23/08/2018 15:10

Quite honestly OP it seems to me she has done very well. apart from Maths she won't have to resit any of them and except for Geography she has the equivalent of higher than B in the rest of them. You just cannot rely on predicted grades. Tell her she is amazing and look forward to what A levels she wants to do in 6th form.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 23/08/2018 15:10

Nobody cares about these grades once you get onto the next phase in life.

Honest.

noblegiraffe · 23/08/2018 15:10

A 6 is a high B.

How disappointing for her, and she must be feeling that she has let everyone down too. On top of that she’s possibly having to reconsider sixth form options and facing a resit in maths.

I think all you can focus on now is how proud you were of how hard she worked and the effort she put in - trying to tell her a 6 is good when she was expecting 8-9 probably won’t help. You know that the results she got didn’t reflect her true ability but now that you know that exam anxiety is a problem that is useful information for the future and something you can work on.

SnuggyBuggy · 23/08/2018 15:11

Poor thing, it's so much pressure. Could she speak to a teacher about next steps.

Feefeetrixabelle · 23/08/2018 15:11

A grade six is the equivalent of a B. She did amazing. And as her mum you convince her of that. Regardless of what the teachers targets were she nailed her exams. So she gets the works. She gets cards, old wrinkly rellies ringing to say she’s done well. I was allowed my first night out on the sauce for good gcse grades (although this was promised when I was predicted straight d’s no one was more surprised by my grades than me- but then telling me I can’t do something is the best motivator). Flowers. Fricking meal out. The lot. You make a fuss that fits within your budget. And then if she comes back from school having been criticised for those grades in any way you follow the complaints procedure until schools learn that the target is a pass not an A. Tell her how well she’s done and repeat until she listens.

Mrsmadevans · 23/08/2018 15:12

New numbering system
Contrary to what you might expect, 1 is not the highest grade, 9 is.

However, 9 will be awarded to fewer pupils than A* is currently.

From this year, some GCSE papers in England are being graded numerically on a scale from 9 to 1.

Remember politicians saying GCSEs were too easy and needed to be made more rigorous?

Well that's what has been happening, as new exams have been developed and are being phased in over a number of years.

This year's students are the first to sit exams in the new GCSES in English (literature and language) and maths - arguably the biggest subjects in the curriculum.

Another 20 subjects will have 9 to 1 grading in 2018, with most others following in 2019.In fact, three number grades, 9, 8 and 7, correspond to the current top grades of A* and A.

This is designed to give more differentiation at the top end.

A grade 6 is a bit higher than the old B grade.

Found on www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-40826391

LadyWarleggan · 23/08/2018 15:12

@Nico - I'm curious what an 'old b' is exactly? i thought a 6 was simply an old B. Confused

Theworldisfullofgs · 23/08/2018 15:13

6's are good. It's a B.
I think the expectations are so high nowadays that when is doesntvwuite reach it, it's disappointing. Dd' s school won't predict 9s.

She's done well and now it's about what's next..

Feefeetrixabelle · 23/08/2018 15:13

Retaking maths or English is pretty standard. A lot of students have to do it and nail it the second time. And unless she wants to be a geographer then that really doesn’t matter that she didn’t pass. It won’t affect her forever.

LadyWarleggan · 23/08/2018 15:13

sorry i meant a 'low b', i know what an old b is (or at least i think so)

PattiStanger · 23/08/2018 15:15

It's ridiculous to give 8-9 as a target imo, was that ever discussed with the teachers as being acheivable?

On a practical level I'd be giving some thought to whether A levels are the best next step if exams aren't the best way for her to be assessed

Urbanbeetler · 23/08/2018 15:16

It must be very disappointing for her, but hopefully you can bring her round to seeing it isn’t the end of the world and other than resitting maths, she can move forward with those grades. It may be worth looking at the amount in which she missed a 4 in maths and consider a remark.

M3lon · 23/08/2018 15:17

holy crap what ARE we doing to our children?!?

Knots and nervousness, inability to focus, devastation.

This exam culture is entirely unhealthy and really needs to jog on now.

Ask your DD if she understood the material - I bet she did. Ask her if she improved her skills during her GCSE's. Ask her if she enjoyed herself at all. Then tell her all of that is ten times as important as what a test result says. Education is for life and GCSE results will cease to be important in less than a month.

SilkeOvesen · 23/08/2018 15:18

I don't know anything about whether her grades were good or bad in the end but I don't know that it matters - I'd be reassuring her that she did her best and worked hard. That's all that anyone can ask, and that's really all she can expect from herself. I think she should be very proud at having worked so hard and put everything she had into it. It's very disappointing that she didn't do as well as she had hoped and it's fine for her to feel all those feelings (especially today!) but you can keep telling her that you're proud of her hard work.

I agree with a PP who said that later on she can perhaps work on exam anxiety, dealing with pressure and all that, but right now I'd focus on tea and sympathy and plenty of reassurance.

M3lon · 23/08/2018 15:19

I hope the teachers who applied the pressure realise they made your DD's results worse not better!

Please do inform them that she was unable to perform her best due to their stupid interference.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 23/08/2018 15:19

Celebrate her effort while acknowledging her disappointment. Help her understand that grades vs teacher's targets don't mean anything, what means something is grades vs AS level entry criteria, and I assume she will have met those somewhere. What subjects does she want to go on and do?

Then, going into AS/A levels, think long-term about exam strategy for her. Perhaps some CBT.

Nikephorus · 23/08/2018 15:20

For starters tell her that GCSEs are only important for getting onto A-Levels or for your first job if you don't do A-levels. After that no-one gives a toss.
Secondly tell her that this is actually a good thing because it means that she can sort out her confidence and anxiety before taking A-level exams. Better to get slightly lower grades now than flunk A-levels because her head is screwed up (I got fab grades for GCSE and then buggered my A-levels because of nerves etc!)
Thirdly, if they've equiv. to B then that's great. They're supposed to be harder this time.

OpiningGambit · 23/08/2018 15:21

So long as it means she can do whatever she wants to do next, there is nothing to panic about. The only problem might be not getting a 4 in maths, as for some things - sociology, teaching - you need to have a C in maths and I'm not sure if a 3 will count.

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