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Original poster

DD devastated with GCSE results

267 replies

chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 14:59

DD3 is devesated.

Her target grades were 8-9 for all subjects except for Maths which were 6-7. She's revised a lot, every time I've seen her in her room she's cracked on with her revision and she's given up lunch times and even stopped her dance club for a year which she's been doing for 4 years just to revise.

Last night she seemed like she was confident that she'd reach her targets but in the car on the way to school she just broke down and started to cry. She said that she had a bad feeling.

She told me about a month ago she felt so nervous in her exams and all she could feel was knots in her stomach and she could barely even focus.

She's opened her results for a 6 in every subject except from Maths which was a 3 and a 4 in Geography.

Any advice I should give her? Most of today she's been up in her room crying and on her phone not talking to anyone.

OP posts:
Belindabauer · 23/08/2018 15:39

To be brutally honest a school cannot predict all 9s.
There are only a small percentage of 9s awarded nationally.

It's like telling soneone, with enough practice you will win the 100 metre sprint. It's against the country's elite sprinters whom you've never met, but keep practising and you will win.
Well actually you won't because Usain Bolt is competing.

Sorry to sound harsh but the school is at fault here.

I find all this build up to gcses far too much and I speak as the mother of a dc who got their results today.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:41

I was thinking of driving to Meadowhall for the day to treat her on how well she did? Something similar to that.

OP posts:
Maybugger · 23/08/2018 15:41

Unfortunately many employers do look at GCSE results, as well as A Level ones, so saying they don't count is far from true, especially in certain professions including engineering.
DS considered resitting a couple of his but apparently resits aren't looked upon favourably either 🙁

Dungeondragon15 · 23/08/2018 15:41

I am so sorry that your poor DD is disappointed. I think she will be able to do A levels with those grades though and on to a degree if the A levels are good enough. In reality her results won't matter in the future. I don't think I ever mention my GSCE grades on my CV. I appreciate that it will be hard for her to take that view today when everyone is talking about their results but once they stop talking about them things will be easier.

Pengggwn · 23/08/2018 15:42

Belindabauer

OP said the targets were 8-9, not that that predictions were. A student who is achieving a 3 (or anywhere close to a 3) won't be predicted an 8 in mock exams. This won't be a complete shock, at least not in Maths.

cariadlet · 23/08/2018 15:42

Such a shame that she feels bad when - apart from the maths - she's actually done really well. It sounds like she goes to one of those schools that puts a lot of pressure on able pupils.

As some others have said, a 6 isn't just the equivalent of a B - it's a strong B. Getting a load of Bs and a C is great. It should easily get her to the next stage, especially as so many colleges are competing for students. I think it will be worth her retaking maths as a pass in English and maths is a requisite for many things.

But none of that will help her feel better at the moment. I think the best thing is to take a Thrive approach and acknowledge her feelings and reflect them back to her. Let her know that you can see that she's upset and disappointed. Tell her that you know how hard she has worked and how awful it is when something that you really want doesn't happen.

The reassurance and practical advice can come later. I think that she just needs to work through her emotions first.

Sending your a virtual hug. There's nothing worse as a parent than seeing your child upset and not being able to do anything about it.

missyB1 · 23/08/2018 15:42

This is the issue with pressuring kids to get the very top marks, and actually with GCSEs all you need is a pass! What is the point of predicting 8s and 9s? All you are going to do is disappoint them when they dont get those, then you have this situation where a child has got perfectly good results but is "devastated"!

Why does everyone have to be the best or get the top marks these days? It wasn't like that when I did the old O levels!

Bluntness100 · 23/08/2018 15:42

Op why did she have to "revise at every opportunity" that's too much, it needs to be balanced or they burn out.

Sounds like this girl has had so much pressure put on her to perform its taken her down.

It's not right. My daughter is straight a or a star, just finished uni with a first in law. My approach was always to ensure her study was balanced with rest, social life etc otherwise she would have probably tanked with the stress,

She's done exceptionally well considering the pressure adults in her young life have put her under.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:42

Just ordered it for her! 😂 Hopefully she's going to lighten up a little. At least I hope that.

OP posts:
Dungeondragon15 · 23/08/2018 15:43

Unfortunately many employers do look at GCSE results, as well as A Level ones, so saying they don't count is far from true, especially in certain professions including engineering.

It's not far from true at all. They don't matter if you have a degree in most professions. People will only be interested the grade you got for that and perhaps where you went!

Blessthekids · 23/08/2018 15:43

For now lots of hugs if she wants them, comfort food and some space. No need for her to make any decisions right now. You may want to call her school tomorrow to have a quiet word about whether worth getting a remark for maths or not.
Grade 6 is a good B so she has done well. The whole point of this new marking scheme was to stop grade inflation so far fewer kids this year would have got grade A* ie 8 and 9. Ultimately, this should be a good thing, as kids getting b and cs should not be made to feel like they have failed. These are good passing marks. Hopefully, she will see that herself with time.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:43

Well, at every opportunity I meant she had free time when she wasn't going shopping, going to the park or going to her friends house.

OP posts:
Aragog · 23/08/2018 15:44

I never list my GCSEs either.

Because I teach I have to state I have at least a grade C in English and Maths, so I just confirm that.

So 1 write that I have 9 GCSEs at grade A-C, inc English and Maths.
(A* didn't exist then)

No one has ever asked for any more than that since the day I passed my A Levels.

lastqueenofscotland · 23/08/2018 15:44

A 6 is still a B no?
They are solid grades! What does she want to do next

TubeTop · 23/08/2018 15:45

I'm a school senior leader and I've been giving out results and doing 6th form enrolment all day; dealt with several like your lovely dd today and over the years. My words would have been as below, for what it's worth:

6 is a good grade! It's similar to what was a B. So well done on so many 6s. That 4 is still a pass so again, well done. You will need to resist Maths alongside whatever you do next year but that's ok, plenty have done that before you and plenty after no doubt. 3 is nearly there. We can help you nail it next time.
You can take an A level in any subject for which you got a 6. So apart from Maths and geog, the world is your oyster. Also all the BTEC and vocational subjects are open to you. If you hate exams, one or more of these could be attractive to you.
Take your time and think it over. You will definitely get into 6th form with your grades, so get back to us when you're ready to decide on your next step.

I'd also acknowledge her disappointment and like you are doing at home, let her talk in good time about what she feels happened and find ways to help her develop resilient strategies for things like exam anxiety or whatever is the case.

You sound like a lovely parent. I wish more students had parents like you.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:46

She said she wants to go to Computer Science at Sheffield Hallam.

OP posts:
CesiraAndEnrico · 23/08/2018 15:47

I know it might seem counter intuitive, but rather than cheer her up, which everybody will be doing, I think I'd sit with her and let her "grieve" for a minute. It is hard to pull yourself together with a sense of perspective before you've had a moment to process what you feel you've lost.

I feel for her. I was supposed to get A/Bs and a couple of C in about 9 subjects, according to my mock O levels.

I passed 4. Included domestic science and RE. V. soft subjects compared to the ones I'd failed.

I needed a minute after that. But nobody could hear me. They were too busy (lovingly) trying to make it alright. Which was beyond their power. Only I could do that, with their help, but I needed the time to digest the upset first.

I'm so sorry love, it hurts like hell when our "baby" hurts.

ManyCrisps · 23/08/2018 15:48

Here’s a graphic to help people understand the new grading system.

DD devastated with GCSE results
hols3106 · 23/08/2018 15:48

My mum just showed me this and considering i got mine back today, i really wanted to reply. I was too, predicted very high targets - some of which i didn’t reach (despite passing) so i can understand the disappointment your daughter is feeling. The one thing i would say is that it may feel like the worst feeling now, but they really just are numbers on a page and don’t define who your daughter is as a person at all, as she and you both know what she is capable of. I just see my results as a stepping stone for sixth form now and i’m just going to focus on the subjects i really want to do for a-level. I just wanted to write this to show she’s not the only one who feels like this and i wish her the best of luck for her bright future. x

OctaviaOctober · 23/08/2018 15:49

There will be ways forward. Eat your takeaway, let her do Netflix or whatever for the rest of the day, then make a plan.

Electrack · 23/08/2018 15:50

I’m sorry your girl is disappointed OP.

My lad is sitting his next year and I think the school are handling things well compared to the schools of friends kids and that of OP’s daughter. The teachers are all a bit mystified by the new GCSE grading but just seem to be focusing on the kids abilities and progression rather than fixating on the difference in grades. Maybe next year will be different once they’ve digested this set of results and the impact. So much pressure for the kids.

Sisterlove · 23/08/2018 15:51

no one cares what GCSE results you got once you have A levels

Actually universities do care.

PeaceRaven · 23/08/2018 15:51

Utterly irrelevant once past sixth form, all I would suggest is that every child retake/pass the core subjects English/Maths/Science which can spring up in many different career paths.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:51

Thank you very much, she believes she is the only one that is suffering since all of her friends got 7s, 8s and 9s... Her cousins got similar grades to her but she's still feeling upset since they were all predicted 4s and 5s.

OP posts:
Rebecca36 · 23/08/2018 15:52

Bless her heart!

There is life after GCSEs you know - and if she is exceptionally good at one thing she can take it at A level.

I knew people who only got one O level and went to Oxford!

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