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Original poster

DD devastated with GCSE results

267 replies

chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 14:59

DD3 is devesated.

Her target grades were 8-9 for all subjects except for Maths which were 6-7. She's revised a lot, every time I've seen her in her room she's cracked on with her revision and she's given up lunch times and even stopped her dance club for a year which she's been doing for 4 years just to revise.

Last night she seemed like she was confident that she'd reach her targets but in the car on the way to school she just broke down and started to cry. She said that she had a bad feeling.

She told me about a month ago she felt so nervous in her exams and all she could feel was knots in her stomach and she could barely even focus.

She's opened her results for a 6 in every subject except from Maths which was a 3 and a 4 in Geography.

Any advice I should give her? Most of today she's been up in her room crying and on her phone not talking to anyone.

OP posts:
OctaviaOctober · 23/08/2018 15:21

Are her grades enough for her to do what she wants next?

GladAllOver · 23/08/2018 15:21

I'd think about private tuition to strengthen her maths. That's the subject than any future path will require.

TeacupDrama · 23/08/2018 15:23

What a shame for your DD it just seems looking at the A's that everyone gets them but they don't: only 0.1% or 700 got all 9's but B was never a rubbish grade she will need to retake Maths though, if she knows she tried her hardest, then plan from there, if she under performed in exam due to nerves she can work on exam technique; if she was secretly only half revising she can improve,

for other posters 4 is a standard pass, 5 is a good pass ( 4-5 old C grade), 6 is old B, 7-9 cover A and A* according to a chart I saw on BBC news
3 is a near miss

serbska · 23/08/2018 15:23

So she mainly got Bs plus one C and a D in Geography? That is totally fine.

cadburyegg · 23/08/2018 15:23

It’s not the end of the world OP, if 6 is the equivalent of a high B then it is a good grade, she has done well. She will have to retake maths I am guessing but lots have to do that.

I got a D in textiles at gcse, it never affected me negatively.

Not everyone can or will get the equivalent of A in every subject

MargoLovebutter · 23/08/2018 15:23

You have to tell your DD that getting 6s/Bs is not a devastating result. It is really, really important she is crystal clear about this.

She may be disappointed that she didn't get her predicted grades, but that is something entirely different to being devastated.

You should then discuss with the school whether the discrepancy with predicted grades and achieved grades is a cause for concern, as they obviously should know your DDs academic potential and ask if it would be worth getting any of the papers back, to see why this happened.

AndWhat · 23/08/2018 15:24

Aw I was her at 16 and honestly nothing my mum said would help.
Almost 20 years on I did a levels and went to uni and have a professional career. I would just let her have her quiet time whilst just reiterating that she’s done well, can do a levels etc treat her to her fave tea and a box of chocs to say how proud you are.

Renarde1975 · 23/08/2018 15:26

I'm an ex teacher (out of loop for last year) but she should be ok with a 6 (B) to do A Level.

I am also questioning why she was predicted 8/9's? I'm guessing it was done not to piss the parents off. That's fucking bang out of order.

In the old days, prediction was this. No more that half the UMS between grade boundaries (that's A level but it still stands). If the parents complained then tough. We stood firm.

She'll be OK. She is in shock but as others have said, it will be OK.

Hugs.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 23/08/2018 15:28

I also think a discussion should be had with school- are there any that teachers would suggest a re-mark? Or that DD thinks she'd like to re-mark to satisfy herself? Any that go up you get a refund of the fee.

Obviously today they matter greatly but GCSE's, in the greater scheme are not going to define her academic career.

Can she stay on and do the subjects she wants at 6th form?

Flowers
Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:28

Yes, I've offered to order her pizza or get her KFC or anything that she likes but she just said to me she's not hungry... She's so disappointed. I've never seen her like this.

OP posts:
HPFA · 23/08/2018 15:29

For the moment I would just let her express her disappointment until she's worked it out of her system. Whilst it's certainly true that she hasn't done badly and it's not the end of the world she won't be feeling like that right now.

For the record I had a similar experience with A-Levels - my Dad did all the "it doesn't really matter" whereas my Mum just gave me a hug and said she understood how I was feeling. It was certainly the latter which was most comforting.

NicoAndTheNiners · 23/08/2018 15:29

I got Bs and Cs in my GCSEs. Don’t have a single a level. But have two degrees, a Masters and am a senior university lecturer. Apart from the maths blip it sounds like she got better results than I did!

Flamingo84 · 23/08/2018 15:29

I really feel for her. There’s so much pressure put on them and whenever they change the marking/results structure it causes chaos. It also irritates me when the same news story is trotted out each year about exams getting easier! I’d like to see them sit them!

As long as she can get on her college course, just try to help her put it behind her. She’s done really well and by the time she starts in a September nobody will care what results she had. They’re simply a stepping stone to the next level of education.

I failed my maths GCSE and had B’s/C’s in everything else, scraped a pass the next year when I re-took it and did ended up doing really well in University. As they get further along in education the testing seems to become much more fair. The mix of coursework, exams, dissertations and essays allows a much more comprehensive view of their knowledge. Some people just go to pieces in exams (me included!).

Take her out for a treat to celebrate and look forward to her next step.

Katnisnevergreen · 23/08/2018 15:30

This suggests to me that the school were very generous with their grade boundaries for the past 2 years, as for many subjects the boundaries are lower than expected. For example in history we had been assuming a 9 would need approx 90% based on the idea it is an A** but actually it was 70% Shock. A lot of my students have been very down over their percieved low grades throughout the year but performed far better this morning than I ever would have predicted. Some were 2 full grades above what I had predicted/expected which is wonderful for them, but does skew stats.

I would ask dd to compare to the rest of her cohort to see if it was just her who underperformed or many in the same situation. It may be that she is not as capable as she would like, I have taught many students who WANT an A/9 but actually are B grade students.

Her grades are not bad, just not the top top of the country with that 798 gaining straight 9s.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:30

I'd consider that. My FIL is a retired maths teacher and DH said he'd try to see if he would come and help her with her retake.

OP posts:
Elephant14 · 23/08/2018 15:31

A lot of pressure was put on by friends and teachers to reach the targets of 8-9 - that is crap. She's passed everything with flying colours, she should not be made to feel like this its screwing with her mental health. I hope you didn't make her feel like that OP?

OpiningGambit · 23/08/2018 15:32

I got a D in textiles at gcse, it never affected me negatively.

With respect, textiles is not maths. I got a D in RE and it hasn't affected me, if I'd got it in maths I wouldn't be eligible to do my current job.

Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:32

Of course not. I said I'd be pleased no matter what if she tried her best and revised at every opportunity.

OP posts:
Original poster
chitterchitter3322 · 23/08/2018 15:33

She's just really disappointed because she has to re take Maths since she got around a D.

OP posts:
hmcAsWas · 23/08/2018 15:34

A bit like Nico, my O levels (yes I am that old) were all B's apart from 1 A. I now have a 2:1 in Politics, a first in History and an MBA - so yeah, we all peak at different times.

Hopefully a set of good solid B's will get her to sixth form? I am so sorry that she had such high expectations however (or rather the school did) and that the pressure proved too much. I do feel for her - but this will pass. Honestly - she's done an awful lot better than most and you will be able to make her see that in time

Feefeetrixabelle · 23/08/2018 15:34

Consider looking at a remark for maths. If she’s close to a pass often it tips her into a pass.

Pengggwn · 23/08/2018 15:35

If I could afford it, I'd take her for a weekend away and a big shopping trip, afternoon tea in a nice hotel, get her eyebrows done, and just keep reiterating how well she's done.

NicoAndTheNiners · 23/08/2018 15:36

ladywarlaggen

Well the way dds teacher explained it to me two years ago was that the new grades don’t exactly match with the old ones. Although after googling it looks like a 6 equates more to a high B. So dd had been predicted a B in old grades for her maths gcse last year and her teacher said she might get a 5 or she might get a 6. That a 5 was a low B and a 6 is a high B. It’s not as simple as straight conversion. Which was a bit annnoying really because if she’d taken her maths a year earlier a B would. Have sounded great. A 5 or even a 6 doesn’t sound quite as good when it goes to 9. I think the pressure on kids just gets worse.

DD devastated with GCSE results
Brambleboo · 23/08/2018 15:38

She's got mostly Bs. That's great! She just doesn't appreciate that. Those results should easily get her on to A Levels.

I hope she comes to realise this quickly and give herself a pat on the back. Maybe you and she could then look at some relaxation techniques to practice over the next couple of years.

musmusculus · 23/08/2018 15:38

First of all, order the pizza. No one can resist a pizza. Pizza fixes everything in the short term.

Second of all tomorrow's a new day so let her cry this one out today (over pizza) and plan something awesome to take her mind off it tomorrow. Bs are excellent. Maths is a shame but as you know she will need to resit it - with SO much less pressure on her than revising for another 9 subjects at the same time that she will be absolutely fine.