To think weddings have gone a bit crazy, or have they always been like this.

[Fitzsimmons]

Is it me, or have weddings, christenings, and other major celebrations gone a bit crazy in recent years?

I keep seeing posts on here about things like people having childfree weddings and getting upset when guests with kids decline, people expected to pay out hundreds to attend a hen do, bridesmaids who have to turn out like clones on the day or god forbid the photos might not look symmetrical. Christenings seem to have gone a bit mad as well. They used to be about declaring your intentions to bring up a Christian child (which is why my kids haven't been) but now they're about showy tea parties and props and gifts.

There are even companies now that will come and set a scene for you, with various props and backdrops to create the perfect look for your photos.

Is it driven by the rise of social media I wonder? Everyone is looking for the perfect image to post online, even if it means those at the event won't enjoy it.

I got married over ten years ago and we had a traditional hotel reception affiar. Loads of kids, lots of alcohol, no props, basic family photos. My bridesmaids helped pick the dress (though I chose the colour) and wore whatever shoes and jewellery they fancied. I invited plus ones, even if I hadn't met them, because I wanted my guests to be happy. I thought all of this was pretty normal but from what I've read on here it all seems to have changed.

Child free weddings aren’t a new thing. I remember my parents going to one back in the 80s. They dropped us children off in a park near by with a picnic, then picked us up again a few hours later when the meal was over .

The current wedding trend passed my by for a long time. Up until recently all the weddings I’d been to were of the registry office followed by buffet and disco kind. Then I went to DHs niece’s wedding which was a full on Pinterest inspired Instagram ready wedding. So much ridiculous twee tat bought for a single day.

The whole proposal thing is definitely social media driven. The only reason I can think of to post your proposal on SM is a narcissistic desire to "go viral". I suspect that a lot of people will deeply regret that in the future.

There obviously is a lot more “fuss” or more kindly “extras” than, say, 20 years ago.

But I think it’s mean and in some cases snobby of some posters to suggest that it’s all about pretence and pretension and trying to impress on Instagram. Why are people just so mean?

I do think that the internet and social media means that there are lots more ideas floating around. And the move to licensed venues has allowed many more businesses around weddings to flourish.

There seems to be an implied suggestion from some posters that all the extras now are due to B&G character defects. If you took the couples of 20 years ago and fast forwarded them, they’d do the same.

My husband and I married last year. I married 10 years ago (divorced) and he married 20 years ago (widowed).

Our wedding wasn’t dissimilar to mine 10 years ago (venues already a thing) but very different to his 20 years ago when it was registrar she hotel.

We had a big wedding. We didn’t have stag/hen, to keep costs down for ourselves but mainly our friends. We didn’t have a photographer or flowers. There was no bridesmaids or ushers. No bows on the chairs - there were table runners though! But we did have a bouncy castle, an ice cream van, loads of things that neither of us had before. We’ve never been on Insta. We’re both on fb but there’s no pictures from the wedding on there, as everyone posted to a picture sharing app. We didn’t get into debt. My husband said his wife would have LOVED to have all the options we did.

So quit with the snide comments about what on earth these new couples will talk about once it’s over. Maybe, just maybe, they’re enjoying all the new ideas and options and their parents and grandparents are saying “cocktail magician? Go for it! Wish we’d had that in my day. Sounds lovely!”

The role of bridesmaid seems to have changed and got more expensive, with the maids expected to buy their dress that the bride has chosen, shoes to match, pay for the bride and themselves to go on these hen do's and sometimes help plan the wedding. Expectations on guests can approach the ridiculous not to mention the give us money as a gift even for evening guests.

The internet has a lot to answer for.

I used to lurk on the youandyourwedding forum when planning mine, and was horrified when a woman would post saying she’d changed her mind about her wedding dress.

The sheer numbers of women who’d respond saying “Yes, you MUST buy another one. It’s your day, and it needs to be absolutely perfect. Sell the other one”.

I just wanted someone to say “Are you fucking mad? It’s just one day! Keep the bloody dress you’ve got!”

I think the OP is right. Seems to be upscaling of a lot of celebrations or events. Not just weddings, christenings and birthdays, but others, such as Valentine's 'weekend', Halloween or 'Mothers Day Weekend'.

I got married in 1485 for half a crown and it’s still talked of to this day, even though everyone who was there, including me, has been dead for over 475 years.

Toomanychilder that's not what I meant at all. Often because of the way I am (Aspergers ), conversational nuances and subtleties are lost on me, no offence was intended, was just saying how I personally feel about evening invitations, and the fact that IMO weddings have become completely over the top events these days (if you can afford it, fine, fill your boots, but so many people go into debt....).

Oh God,

I'm so glad I have opted out of wedding invitations now. So liberating. Won't go to hens either and I really don't care what anyone thinks anymore. I have found peace with my choices as to where to spend my money!

Will always send a very generous gift though. If not a family wedding, nobody cares really, they just move on to the next person on the list if you politely decline!

I'm talking about non immediate family weddings here just to mention. No, they not for me any more.

Just too boring. Same schedule, same hanging around, same food, same music, same same same.

Surely though the actual ceremony is the whole point? If I go to a wedding I want to actually see my friends get married!

I got married in 1485 for half a crown and it’s still talked of to this day, even though everyone who was there, including me, has been dead for over 475 years

Dying

I got married in 1485 for half a crown and it’s still talked of to this day, even though everyone who was there, including me, has been dead for over 475 years

Dying 

Snap 😂. I got married in a ditch in the middle of the road, we had half a cabbage each to eat and ditch water to drink....

Ditch? Pothole clearly.... the roads in rural oz are pretty awful....but not quite that bad....

not funny joke - couldn't have found water in the ditch in oz at the moment (their drought is awful by the by)

I totally agree OP.

Although over the past couple of years, I know a few people who have scaled down and gone for the traditional reception route of buffet and a disco in a local venue - and these have been the best weddings I've been to.

I find everything so showy - elaborate hen parties (one of my friends added up how much she had spent on other people's hen do's and it was over 10 grand in 3 years !!), baby showers and now the gender reveals !

I think social media definitely has a lot to answer for !

Mumsastudent, wry laughter here, very true! (Though I'm from Victoria which thankfully isn't suffering atm, my Facebook feed is full of calls to help those who are affected)... the ditch in vic is more likely to currently be frozen!

You are quite right. There is no such thing as a family/friends celebration. They are all "events" Awful. I hate going to them

There is silly money spent on faux celebrations. The focus has moved from the wedding or Baptism to the party in many cases - although the two weddings I have been to recently were genuinely joyous celebrations of the marriage. I don’t think it’s everyone but a certain “type”who is so insecure they need to prove to the world that the tasteless organza bows on back of chairs, the hen party in Budapest, the themed party (as if a wedding isn’t theme enough) is testimony to their happiness. It’s buying false sentiments instead of creating real ones.

I think it's because many (most?) weddings are paid for by the couple themselves. When the Father of the Bride was paying for it all (except for some reason the church and the cars), costs and so general "bling" were more controlled.

degustibus most of my relatives are nsw or queensland not good full of people trucking water & food for humans & animals to the farms

Someone said to me recently (re two of our friends) that the bigger the wedding and the bling, the quicker the divorce.

Yup. Happened in both cases. Now I have no idea why, could have been debt for the wedding or playing away on either side, or incompatibility etc..

My guess is mega debt from the bling weddings though!.

I have a nice enough life but Christ it is hard ( not war zone hard but hard). Never ending stress with job and too much month for my salary. I think the whole OTT wedding and the hen nights and the hideous American prom and baby shower stuff is a way of distracting people from their day to day lives.,

It is so social media/internet driven. I got married in 2007 and although I looked online for various things there definitely wasn't this social media-driven obsession with all the small details that there is now. It's all the 'little things' that now everyone seems to be forking out for. The matching bathrobes that say 'Team Bride". The multiple hen dos. The engagement/pre-wedding photoshoots. The posing with signs that say stuff like 'Today I said yes to the dress!' The sweet trollies and sparklers and dressing up props. The personalised everything. I had a really nice wedding that wasn't super cheap (but also not extravagant because we didn't have loads of money) but none of those things were even a consideration 11 years ago.

@mumsastudent everyone in rural oz is helping out as best they can, it's a terrible situation. for your relatives. I remember how the community pulled together after my home district was hit badly by fire x