Bar tab at christening

[shockedandsurprised]

Dh and I can't agree so I'm after some opinions. We're planning a christening for ds and have booked a function room in a local pub for a buffet afterwards. We're paying for the buffet and will also be doing a champagne toast. Dh thinks guests can then buy their own drinks at the bar. I think we should have a tab and pay for everyone's drinks.

I was always under the impression that at a christening the parents paid for all the guests, dh thinks paying for food and a glass of champagne is enough. Christening is at midday so we're talking early afternoon for the meal so people won't be going crazy, and lots of people will be driving as none of our family and friends live particularly close so I'm not expecting it to be a huge amount of money.

What do other people think/what have been your experiences?

Why would you pay for their drinks? No need for a free bar at a christening

People can pay for their own drinks.

The christening is about the actual service. If people want a drink after it they can pay!

I’m with your dh. Every christening i’ve been to has only had food laid on. Drinks are paid for by the guests themselves.

You can do the first round for everyone, then from there they buy their own. Beer/wine/G&T/Orange etc

Unless you have a family of heavy drinkers.

I’d not expect a free bar at a christening. Nice bit of cake and a cup of tea would be my general expectation.

I wouldn't have a free bar at a christening and have never heard of that happening.

Christenings/baptisms are to welcome the child into the Christian faith, not a piss up which a free bar implies.

People pay for their own drinks. If you're feeling super generous, then perhaps pay for a drink for everybody, but certainly don't foot the whole thing. People always take the piss at a free bar.

I would but that's just me

Bar for a christening? Why?

I wouldn't expect it and wouldn't provide this. Completely unnecessary. You could provide free tea and coffee as part of the buffet.

No need for a free bar.

I haven’t heard of a bar at a christening and certainly wouldn’t expect drinks to be paid for by the host.

I was always under the impression that at a christening the parents paid for all the guests

I had never heard of this before MN, but it does seem that a small number of people hold this as a social expectation, but it certainly isn't usual.

I would certainly not expect a free bar at a christening, or any other event for that matter. There is generally no societal expectation in the U.K. of free bars.

I'd pay.

But it rather depends on size of family. I'd expect Christening to be a fairly small/intimate gathering, so it wouid be affordable. But if you have hordes, then first round and drinks for a toast (if you have one)

I’ve never heard of that at any event/occasion. The host provides food and people buy their own drinks if there is a bar.

I think it's more important to make sure there is enough food at the buffet. If possible it would be nice to have some soft drinks (maybe juice, sparkling and still water) laid on for people to help themselves too but I don't think it's necessary to provide a free bar.

We said we would pay for everyone's meal and drinks but everyone insisted they bought their own drinks so in the end we just did the first round for everyone.

Dont do an open bar. If you want to, do a glass of something on arrival (prosecco, bucks fizz etc).

It's a christening, not a booze up. Pay for a glass of fizz, then everyone buys their own drinks. Free bars are expensive! Count on £3.50 per drink, invite 30 people that's £105 per round. They'll drink more if it's free. Maybe 5 drinks per person. £525.

I personally wouldn't provide much alcohol for a christening- it's a family occasion.
Ours was a 3 course meal with soft drinks/water and tea and coffee afterwards. Champagne was provided for a toast only.
My friends did similar but provided wine with the meal.
It's a christening, you don't want drunk people around and most of them will have to drive afterwards anyway

As has been said, the important bit is the commitments you make to bring your child up to know and love Jesus - some cake in church is plenty! - I've never heard of champagne afterwards . No need for a free bar, make sure there's tap water perhaps. Hope it's a lovely occasion for you and your DC.

I did exactly what your DH suggests. The buffet included tea or coffee, champagne for the thanks-for-coming speech, buy anything else you want.

It’s a gathering after a religious service, not a piss-up (not against a piss-up in any way, just not after a Christening!).

I wouldn’t expect any alcohol at a Christening, I’d expect a cup of tea.

I’ve been to a few christenings recently, there have been buffets but no free bar, nor would I expect there to be a free bar!