Bar tab at christening

[shockedandsurprised]

Dh and I can't agree so I'm after some opinions. We're planning a christening for ds and have booked a function room in a local pub for a buffet afterwards. We're paying for the buffet and will also be doing a champagne toast. Dh thinks guests can then buy their own drinks at the bar. I think we should have a tab and pay for everyone's drinks.

I was always under the impression that at a christening the parents paid for all the guests, dh thinks paying for food and a glass of champagne is enough. Christening is at midday so we're talking early afternoon for the meal so people won't be going crazy, and lots of people will be driving as none of our family and friends live particularly close so I'm not expecting it to be a huge amount of money.

What do other people think/what have been your experiences?

I agree I hate piss ups at christenings. How about an afternoon tea.

I've never been to a christening with alcohol, only ever seen tea and cakes?

When did alcohol at Christenings start? It’s a church service!

Do you mean a naming party or something OP? Are you actually having a service in church before the “free bar”?

I would pay for drinks as it is my invitation. I would also expect drinks to be paid for by any host of a christening.

Everyone can pay for their own drinks, you might want to put some soft drinks out, but apart from that people pay for their own.

My church loves a bit of prosecco to go with the usual post-service coffee and cake on a special occasion so alcohol and Christenings definitely not unknown.

We had people back to ours both times for a barbeque/buffet and cake

Champagne and ask the venue to provide tea and coffee to help yourselves to. If people want alcohol they can pay

How many people do you have coming? Are they close friends and family? I'd pick up the tab if so (assuming finances allow). As a pp said, people don't generally go mad a) at that time of day or b) on that sort of occasion.

Many years ago we were invited to a christening with a free bar. There were lots of very glamorous types there and I felt a bit out of place.

Turns out the dad of the baby is a big time drug dealer and was made of money.
The bar bill was apparentely nearly 4K!

Include some soft drinks surely for people to have with their food, but free bar? No.

We had our DC christening receptions at home and provided the drinks. SILs all had bar receptions after the services and we paid over the bar, with the proud parents and grandparents buying drinks for people as their funds allowed. Either is fine.

Way OTT to do a free bar.

I never expect a free bar anywhere at anything. A free glass of something to do a toast.
If you offered me agree bar I would think you had more money than sense.

We did first round on us and the tea and coffee throughout.

A glass of champagne would be nice for a toast but I'm with PP - tea and cake is all I'd expect after a christening.

If you're holding the function in a pub, then the very fact that it's a pub will trigger the 'I'm going to the bar, what are you having?' chip in most guests, if they want further alcoholic refreshment.

Jesus, it's a Christening, not a wedding, why on earth would everyone be drinking enough to warrant a bar tab? Just got back from a weekend Christening, they provided food, everyone just purchased their own drinks. Simple.

I would expect to pay for my own drinks at a christening every time, however, you said people won’t be going crazy at the buffet as it’ll be mid afternoon BUT if people have been to the christening and midday and then straight to the after bit then they may not have had a lunch as it would have been very early to eat then travel to christening so they might go a bit crazy!

We had a bar tab at DDs christening, we told the bar staff it was up to £200, our guests actually cost us £57. It was during the day so maybe people only really had soft drinks. For DD2 we had the party at home and it was soft drinks only, no one complained! So I would agree with your DH in hindsight, people don't seem to be heavy drinkers at christenings.

What you are already planning sounds enough but you could compromise maybe on soft drinks (unless being bought as a mixer) being free?

Tea, coffee and some soft drinks are enough. Anyone who wants alcohol can buy it themselves.

I don’t know anyone who would expect a free bar at a Christening. A wedding perhaps but not a christening.

I had christening at a posh hotel. I paid afternoon tea it included a tea and coffee and a glass of fizz on arrival. After that guests bought from the bar themselves

Thanks all for your responses. To be clear, I'm absolutely not expecting a piss up but both our families tend to have wine with a meal so I expect most people who aren't driving will have a glass or two of wine.

Also, this won't be at the church! I think it's fairly common to provide some sort of food and a cake after a christening? We're just doing this in a nice function room in a local family friendly pub rather than at our house or the church hall as I want dh and I to enjoy the day with ds and catch up with friends and family, not be running around trying to be good hosts

Seems like the consensus is the toast and tea and coffee is plenty so we'll go with that. Thanks all!

@sparkleandsunshine I meant people won't go crazy at the bar, I'm expecting people to eat a lot as it'll be lunchtime (food will be about 1:30). We're providing a full hot and cold buffet

Gosh Christenings must be becoming the next hen event! Alcohol isn’ traditional but then neither is hiring a hall and inviting large numbers.
I wouldn’t think a tab was necessary or desirable.