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Original poster

Bar tab at christening

103 replies

shockedandsurprised · 22/08/2018 07:49

Dh and I can't agree so I'm after some opinions. We're planning a christening for ds and have booked a function room in a local pub for a buffet afterwards. We're paying for the buffet and will also be doing a champagne toast. Dh thinks guests can then buy their own drinks at the bar. I think we should have a tab and pay for everyone's drinks.

I was always under the impression that at a christening the parents paid for all the guests, dh thinks paying for food and a glass of champagne is enough. Christening is at midday so we're talking early afternoon for the meal so people won't be going crazy, and lots of people will be driving as none of our family and friends live particularly close so I'm not expecting it to be a huge amount of money.

What do other people think/what have been your experiences?

OP posts:
PaperTrain · 22/08/2018 08:58

I've been to one christening which had a free bar but absolutely didn't expect it (but it was a very lavish affair). I would expect -if there is a 'do' - that there be food of some sort and ability to buy my own drink.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 22/08/2018 08:59

Personally I’d provide some bottles of wine and a limited bar tab for those preferring beer (as well as the Champagne), but as a guest I’d be happy to buy my own.

Inertia · 22/08/2018 09:00

You should provide plenty of food, tea, coffee, and a range of soft drinks, plus wine/ champagne if you're doing a toast. It's reasonable for people to buy from the bar if they want alcohol.

eggsandwich · 22/08/2018 09:04

Hosting a christening is not the same as hosting a wedding, it’s only for a few hours and most people would expect just tea and coffee though if you want to make a toast with champagne that’s fine, but it’s not an excuse for a free piss up.

As it’s being held in a pub if people feel they need a drink they should pay for there own after the toast, you don’t want the odd few ruining the occasion by getting pissed.

LoniceraJaponica · 22/08/2018 09:08

"Gosh Christenings must be becoming the next hen event!"

Some seem to don't they. My experience of christenings is that they tend to be small family affairs with a couple of friends, not family and loads of friends. We had food and drink at our house afterwards when we had DD christened, and yes, we did provide some wine, but it wasn't a boozy do.

The OP's christening sounds fine, and I agree with her final decision. Laying on plenty of food is a good idea because everyone will be hungry

crispysausagerolls · 22/08/2018 09:09

I don’t know why everything has to be a piss up these days! A christening is a service about a baby for goodness sake - usually a baby is present and lots of children, it isn’t appropriate to have people getting drunk. A champagne toast with food is plenty. If people can’t reign themselves in they can pay for extras.

CalonGlas · 22/08/2018 09:09

There used to be a hotel in a neighbouring town that was notorious for hosting events that ended up in the local paper, thanks to police intervention. The biggest punch-ups were nearly always christenings, for some reason.

Merrz · 22/08/2018 09:10

I might be in the minority here and i think it seems to depend a bit on where you're from as to how big a deal a christening is but any christening i've been to usually does land in quite a piss up haha. Certainly in my family it's almost treated like a wedding, sometimes at a pub/hotel venue or someone's house after the church ceremony. I don't think you need to offer a free bar though, any i've been to it's been buffet style food or soup and sandwiches followed by christening cake, tea/coffee and glass of champagne/wine/whiskey/beer provided but buy your own drinks at the bar after.

LoniceraJaponica · 22/08/2018 09:30

Where are you Merrz?

I have been to christenings in south London, West Yorkshire and Northumberland, they have all been small, low key affairs. All have been back at the house, not in a function room/church hall. All have been C of E.

butterflysugarbaby · 22/08/2018 09:32

You could have a free glass of bubbly for everyone as they come in, and then they pay for their own. Never known a free bar at any Christening OR wedding actually.

MaryShelley1818 · 22/08/2018 09:36

I’ve always paid for my own drinks at a Christening, would never expect the parents to foot the bill

MaryShelley1818 · 22/08/2018 09:38

I’ve also never ever been to a Christening that was then at someones house - all of them have been at (low key) venues.

lovelovelovepancakes · 22/08/2018 09:42

It's a christening. I wouldn't even expect alcohol to be served at all.

Howhot · 22/08/2018 09:45

A free bar at a christening?? Never heard of that. It seems quite odd. I'm with your oh. A

CornishMaid1 · 22/08/2018 09:46

I would put out tea/coffee with the buffet and maybe some juice for the children, but if the guests want to drink something else I would leave them to pay for it themselves as you have provided food and drink.

Merrz · 22/08/2018 09:47

I'm North Scotland, i also have family in Southern Ireland who make an even bigger deal of christenings where the family take all guests for a full sit down meal after the church ceremony then a proper evening of drinking and singing haha. Girls get their hair/make up done etc like you would for a wedding.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 22/08/2018 09:48

I've never been to a christening which had a free bar. The most ostentatious was a christening party at the couple's wedding venue and this included a drink on arrival then food, tea and coffee.
Every other christening has been at a local pub where the parents provide food but people are expected to pay for their own drinks.

Gromance02 · 22/08/2018 09:52

It’s a gathering after a religious service so you wouldn't expect a free bar after a wedding? Same sorta thing.

Feltcushion · 22/08/2018 09:53

You pay for their drinks. If you cant afford it then don't have alcohol, it is a baptism not a stag do.

Church service then either back to the house or if they don't have a suitable house a small event at a local restaurant or pub.

Church Hall or church itself for tea and cake first is not unusual, you invite the whole congregation.

Usually less than 30 people. Immediate family and god parents.

Make sure your guests bring cash for the plate.

onedayonedaymaybe · 22/08/2018 09:56

When I got my children baptised guests paid for their own drinks and I put on a cold buffet spread.

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 22/08/2018 09:58

I would pre-order a certain number of bottles of wine/beer to have on the tables, plus soft drinks, then it’s every man for himself when it’s gone.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 22/08/2018 10:05

I think people are getting really hung up on the fact you are having a christening party in a room with a bar. You all do realise you can order soft drinks from a bar right? My friend had her sons christening in the football club, it was cheap to hire and they could bring their own buffet. It had a bar but most people had a coke or coffee, the odd person had a half pint.

But op don't put money behind the bar, there is no need and people can buy their own drinks tou are alrwdy serving food

Hopoindown31 · 22/08/2018 10:23

DH is spot on. Food and a glass of bubbles and everyone is happy!

yoghurtmaker · 22/08/2018 10:35

Gromance02

It’s a gathering after a religious service so you wouldn't expect a free bar after a wedding? Same sorta thing.

A wedding breakfast doesn’t include a bar free or otherwise. The reception has the bar, (the party afterwards) it’s just that the church service and the celebration are on the same day and/or have the newly married couple there. Traditionally this wasn’t the case. The bride and groom would go away and the rest of the families celebrated, or there was a party on a different day with the newlyweds when they came back from honeymoon. Stag and hen did have taken over from that though.

I think the OP means a naming party as it is in a pub, not a church service. I’d hate to think Christenings were turning into s disco in thong ☹️

yoghurtmaker · 22/08/2018 10:37

I’d hate to think Christenings were turning into s disco in thong ??? Huh?!

I’d hate to think Christenings were turning into a disco in a pub thing.

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