To ask for your breastfeeding in public experiences?

[AlwaysFuckingTired]

Currently BF 3 week old DD2. I avoided BF in public with DD1 as much as possible due to anxiety about how people would react, but this led to me doing ridiculous things like feeding her in a toilet so I've decided I'm going to be braver this time.

How did you find BF in public? Did you get any unkind looks or comments? Did you use a cover or not?

I’m six months into breastfeeding my third (b/f the first two for a year each). Don’t use a cover or wear any particular nursing clothes.
I’ve never had anything but positive comments. My favourite reaction was from two older ladies in a cafe who looked over and both gave me a thumbs up!

Breastfed both, with the first I used a cover, with the second I was more confident and didn't bother but bought breastfeeding tops and clothing that had easy but discreet access. My experience of breastfeeding in public was overwhelmingly positive - in most cases nobody even realised and when someone did, it was always met positively.

While on holiday, we arrived at a crowded restaurant with our seven month old. While we waited for a table and later as we began our meal, my cheerful baby was continually admired and fussed over by all the staff and other diners.

She was the sort of baby who wouldn't tolerate being covered up, so I had long since given up on even trying to be modest. As I started to breastfeed her openly at the table, I overheard a middle-aged woman some distance away remark to her friend, "Oh, THAT'S why that baby's so happy: she's breastfed!" The remark hadn't been meant for my ears. It was pure accident that I overheard: though it had been quite loud, there was one of those odd moments when everyone happens to fall quiet at once and you can unexpectedly hear a conversation right across the room.

I had nice zipped bras so they flipped up,boob down,shirt up.
Never had comments and think most people never noticed.

Nothatsnoyname both mine calmed down a lot around 6 weeks, feels like ages at the time but DS is 1 now and it's a distant memory!

So far have fed for 4.5 years in total and have fed everywhere- including packed trains, all the museums, various civil service departments, the house of commons (not in the chamber though!) And in all that time I've had the evil eye once and some giggling 9 yos once. I don't use a cover and also feed toddlers in public if needs dictate, which is something people are more likely to get sniffy about.

Really, people are fine. I do think things have changed a fair bit in the last 10 years- relatives and friends seem more likely to have had comments 10 years or so ago.

11 months of feeding here and still no negative comments.

I’ve had one older lady say how lovely it was to see baby getting fed when he was hungry, one woman leave a little card from la Leche league saying thanks for feeding in public as it helps to normalise it and gives other women confidence, a lovely waitress in the Sainsbury’s cafe who brought my tea and toast, saw I was feeding, brought extra water without being asked then checked I could reach everything one-handed and asked if I wanted her to do the butter and jam for me so I could eat straight away, one older man reminiscing about his wife feeding their babies, and one man who’d seen the breastfeeding documentary on channel 4 that morning and started chatting about that and saying how silly people can be and asking whether I ever get negative comments.

So a range of comments from ‘how lovely’ to ‘I don’t know what the fuss is about’, but no negatives so far.

I don’t use a cover or special tops, and I think if your body language is relaxed and calm people often don’t even notice you’re feeding.

Good luck OP: it’s great feeling you can just be out and about without worrying about the next feed. Hope all the good experiences on this thread are helping a bit?

I bf for 11 months and did it anywhere and everywhere. I wore a big baggy top and no-one could see anything. It was no big deal and no-one ever commented and probably didn't even notice.

I feed everywhere, dd is 16 weeks. The only time I might move is when there are already people some where who can’t easily move away if they feel uncomfortable e.g recently in a restaurant where in laws choose a table that placed me inches from men eating their Sunday lunch. Fed in the bar instead.
Also sat outside to feed once at gp surgery s there were 5 older gents in waiting room who all commented how lovely dd is and it felt weird getting a boob out. Sat in the bench by front door instead!

Absolutely agree with what everyone else has said already on the thread.

I've spent a lot of time travelling by train this summer alone with baby DS and older DS1, most people really don't give a shit about what other people are doing, they are far too busy on their phones or tablets to notice a woman breastfeeding a baby. Just go for it, you'll soon become desensitised to any concerns

Have fed 3 kids anywhere and everywhere and never had so much as an eyebrow raised. When #1 was small and distracted I would sometimes use a muslin, not for modesty reasons but because it stopped her looking around and pulling off.

Fed in public with all four kids no one ever said anything or gave me 'looks'. I never made a show of it and was lucky the kids were easy feeders. Also, I only fed them in public when they were little. I imagine you would be more likely to get looks or comments feeding toddlers

Btw i never used a cover but always pushed my top up rather than down so no boob on display

Also meant to say, lots of shops in bigger towns have feeding rooms - near me there's one in Boots, Matalan, Debenhams, M&S, Mothercare with a comfy chair - might be worth scoping out?

Fed my pair for six and a half years combined - in a saw mill, main thoroughfare in a Disney park and various other weird and wonderful places.

Had one negative where I was asked to feed in a café toilet and when I refused I was told to leave. Still wish I had had the confidence to challenge that.

Few startled looks and a glare or two by the time they were older but I just beamingly smiled at them and they went away. 😁

Another one that has fed 2 DC anywhere and everywhere with no comments of any kind. I never used a cover as neither would tolerate it for more than 10 seconds.

No problem at all with women breastfeeding in public really.

But I'm not sure how I feel about them breastfeeding their baby in the swimming pool. (Like, in the actual water, as the women were doing in Stoke the other day...)

Seems very unhygienic.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6078617/Stoke-mother-furious-swimming-instructor-asked-leave-pool-breastfeeding-toddler.html
.

I think that women are obviously entitled to breastfeed their baby if the baby needs it, but I do sense a kind of 'I will do what the hell I like coz I am allowed to by law' attitude from a few mums.

I mean, just coz you're ALLOWED to do something, that doesn't always mean you should.

Apparently, no-one can discriminate against a woman breastfeeding her child, no matter how old the child is.

But do you really want to see a woman breastfeeding a child of 10 years old, right opposite you on the train for example?

Whilst I support a woman's right to breastfeed her baby in comfort, without being made to feel shit about it, there has to be limits, and a line drawn. And the woman breastfeeding her toddler in the swimming pool in Stoke, crossed that line IMO.

How is that relevant to the thread butterflysugarbaby? OP hasn’t suggested she wants to feed her baby in a swimming pool, just asked for experiences re getting out and about with her young baby.

Seriously, @butterflysugarbaby? The OP didn't mention any of those scenarios - she has a newborn, for a start.

But do you really want to see a woman breastfeeding a child of 10 years old, right opposite you on the train for example?
Except literally no-one is doing that, are they, butterflysugarbaby?

Some interesting articles here about natural weaning ages here:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2720507/

www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-beyond-a-year/

OP- I fed my DS everywhere, including planes, restaurants, weddings, shops, trains, parks. Most people didn’t give us a second glance. Ironically, the only place anyone ever asked me to go elsewhere was at his nursery.

Still bfing my 16 month old and have fed him pretty much everywhere - coffee shops, restaurants, parks, playgrounds, pubs, beaches, churches, concerts, festivals, buses and trains, and walking through an airport.

I've never had any negative comments from anyone. I do aim to be fairly discreet but I've never used a cover. I don't even think about it anymore, I just feed him.

I BF both my girls in public. When my eldest was feeding I was living in turkey and with my youngest we were in the UK and I never had a problem or even a comment from anyone. I never had a cover and just latched them on quickly so nothing could be seen.

I never had any negative comments or reactions either - or if I did, I was happily oblivious!

I was once feeding dd in an airport and noticed a couple looking over at me a lot. I started feeling a bit uncomfortable and trying to think up some dignified retorts in case they said anything. They were in their 60s and had a copy of the Daily Mail so I assumed their glances were disapproving.

Eventually the woman smiled at me and said how nice it was to see me bf, and it reminded her of bf her own dc. So I turned out to be the judgemental one in this case - felt pretty ashamed of myself!

But do you really want to see a woman breastfeeding a child of 10 years old, right opposite you on the train for example?

Oh do give over.

Do you know any 10 year old children? Or any children?

I BF in public. I double shirt.
The only comments I've ever had was from a now ex-friend (ex for many reasons)