To think some posters are naive about SS?

[fudgeraisinbiscuit]

I see many posts where people seem to believe either that SS will offer support and that parents who are loving and coping but struggling can contact them for a hand-hold, or posts where people believe a not ideal yet normal situation can and should be reported.

AIBU to think posters are naive about what SS actually do?

Ss involvement can help you access courses you need, grants, general support like counselling, put you in touch with charities (I had an issue with a benefit claim for my youngest while I had my 2nd social worker, She helped me a bit then put me in touch with cerebra who helped me further. My youngest is disabled) as well as guiding you through systems like assessing to get statemented for special schools, council housing etc. they can do loads of positive things and I know my experience doesn't undermine that, but it does make me very wary of them in future.

@Tessliketrees well yes, that too.

Have to agree with tess and holly

Social workers online (never met one irl) always seem to bristle at the fact they are between a rock and a hard place. Yes they are, if they make a mistake in either direction lives are destroyed. I would have sympathy if they seemed in awe of the responsibility entrusted to them, but at least online they seem to be defensive instead. It sounds like an extremely hard job but you shouldn’t be worried about getting criticised, you should be worried about the actual decisions you make which are far more dangerous than the criticisms people make of you (even in the awful case where you might be wrongfully fired or even prosecuted).

I’m sure plenty of them are awed by their responsibility and not so defensive but sadly for obvious reasons those aren’t the ones jumping to their own defence every time this comes up online.

I have been reported to SS several times over the years due to my sons disabilities. Every time they have concluded no safeguarding concerns. I have a sneaky suspicion this reporting could be used as a way to get personal medical info on parents, so child’s difficulties can be blamed on parents and save the LA money!

I’ve also had some very positive experiences of SS. SW lovely, trying her best to support my son and his difficulties. Although their involvement was all a bit pointless!

Only to be told by LA that SS cannot comment on education! The only difficult SW found!

Seems LA have it pretty much sewn up!

bored, can you answer my question please @ 12.45?

We were referred by short breaks panel when we reapplied for a persnal assistant, apparently we have to be assessed before that can happen. He has become a recluse and does not want to leave the house except for school. He will not attend any clubs go out or have any friends. It is us and him 24 7 . He has severe anxiety and panic attacks regularly
We viewed sw involvement as positive as we are hoping they can point us in the direction of some support for us as cares or support for our son to address his difficulties

How can SS involvement be positive ?

Was that a general question I can’t see it on another post so maybe taken out of context

Safeguarding children from abusers is one positive

Supporting parents gaining access to support is another

Keeping a child with their parents and helping them raise their child safely when they are struggling

Yes and taking away children when the threat of violence/abuse is so severe that ot is the only option to keep them from more harm and other interventions have done little or nothing to protect those children

Yes it is the disability team

vicki it sounds like you have been referred to disability team. They carry out a carer and child needs assessment. Doesn’t sound like child protection.

vickibee my experience is they are well meaning but can't offer very much. It tends to be direct payment hours which are only useful if you can find someone to do it. Ours will not get involved at all in the challenging behaviour side of things. That is seen as a learning disability nurse/ camhs area.

Some sw are good and some awful

I think some sw get a bit like some police a bit carried away with the power

Some hide behind their incompetence and they try to punish and escalate when they are found out

Some sw like our adoption one are awsome and need a meddle but I have found in the main adoption
And foster carers sw are awsome

Children’s sw not very good often they don’t even have basic child development knowledge

We were asked to take a child who had cradle cap to a&e once by a sw and she had never heard of such a thing

Also an investigation was started into us by a white social worker who hadn’t had any experience with BME as she had came down from about “bruising” the little girl in question had a Mongolian blue spot even though dh is a nurse even though the HV had agreed it was MBS she wasn’t having any of it
Then when it was in fact found to be a MBS Ashe promptly tried to have baby moved saying she couldn’t work with us and we had been difficult

And from a former foster carers point a view ss can be positive force

Only if they don’t see it as just a job
If their managers support them
And they have common sense

And I am afraid the very posh AP types don’t last very long they don’t really understand their client base just think ther better than them

Another interesting point is, how come some families who are under pressure from ss, being accused of risk of future emotional harm, then move abroad and are judged as good parents by their new sw's? I've seen this happen and new sw's (after reading damning reports by UK sw's, carried out full assessments and reported no concerns at all. Doesn't make sense?

Yeah I did correct myself enthusiasm

There's an awful lot of talk about bad sw and I dont doubt there is some because let's face it, career aside some people are arseholes! But maybe a lot of people (Not all!!) Would cry corrupt sw rather than admitting bad parenting? And a sw bursting in and just taking a child WITHOUT any warning or prior support and investigation? I'm sorry but I think chances are this is someone who has been dealing with ss for a fair while! That story is about as believable as that time I gave birth to a Maris piper potatoe

Vicki my son is the same. I found this quite helpful.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=JytswMbcd_U

@rubyroot
Those are targets to find families for children who have already been deemed unable to go home.
So in order to meet those targets it would be better to have more children go home i.e. fewer who need adoption.

@Pengggwn so they should put your interests above the welfare of your child?
If you think that, you probably should rethink.

Pengggyn, I knew exactly what you meant and you are very wise to have no contact with them.

That isn’t what Pengggwn is saying.

She’s saying that they aren’t a supportive service for parents. And she’s right.

drspouse

You'll have to help me through the contorted maze of your thinking there. How did you get to the idea that I think SS should put my interests first?

Oh it's obvious what Pengggwn meant. It's just purposeful misunderstanding from those questioning her.

Incidentally, there are only a small number of European countries which carry out the barbaric act of forced adoption. I will check on this but as far as I know, it's only UK, Norway and possibly Sweden.

Indeed, aunt

“Andorra, Croatia, Estonia, Georgia, Germany, Hungary, Italy, Montenegro, Norway, Poland, Slovenia, Sweden and Turkey. A further 7 countries permit adoption without parental consent in ‘rare’ circumstances”