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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some posters are naive about SS?

999 replies

fudgeraisinbiscuit · 21/08/2018 10:29

I see many posts where people seem to believe either that SS will offer support and that parents who are loving and coping but struggling can contact them for a hand-hold, or posts where people believe a not ideal yet normal situation can and should be reported.

AIBU to think posters are naive about what SS actually do?

OP posts:
toomanychilder · 23/08/2018 18:01

Why so aggressive all the time too

I think that is yourself you can hear?

auntethel · 23/08/2018 18:15

It's interesting to note (our sw's favourite line, btwSmile) that all the court reports I've seen are almost identical, almost as if they're working to a template. For example, most reports state long term mental Ill health, even when there has been NONE and doctors letters to prove it, the false allegation still continues in ensuing reports, despite solicitors letters asking them to remove. Just one example there.

optimusprimesmother · 23/08/2018 18:18

Aunte I genuinely wouldn’t know what to do in your position. It must make you feel so desperate. Flowers

midgesforever · 23/08/2018 18:21

I am currently in the US and child protection is totally different in pretty much every way, they are not comparable.

Like the NHS and schools social work needs decent funding. The impact of underfunding is huge and dangerous for dc. I have tried to outline the specific impact of chronic long term underfunding, it is real and totally unsurprisingly. Proper funding would allow bad practice to be identified and weeded out sooner.
Insisting on only blaming individuals and ignoring wider issues will not make anything better for dc who need protection. It is reductive and unhelpful.

optimusprimesmother · 23/08/2018 18:22

Sorry Auntie desperate is the wrong word, I would imagine you feel helpless and frustrated amongst other feelings Flowers

optimusprimesmother · 23/08/2018 18:23

I am currently in the US and child protection is totally different in pretty much every way, they are not comparable

In what way midge?

auntethel · 23/08/2018 18:27

Here's another commonly used one, usually put under Risk Assessment when they need to fill it up a bit "still have some unpacked boxes from their recent house move". And another filler "parents have made many complaints to the department"

optimusprimesmother · 23/08/2018 18:27

too my posts are reactionary. I mirror how I’m spoken too. bizarrely It offends some posters that direct messages at me .. Confused

optimusprimesmother · 23/08/2018 18:29

still have some unpacked boxes from their recent house move

Why would that be if concern any way? Confused

midgesforever · 23/08/2018 18:30

There are parental rights rather than responsibilities so it starts from a different place. It is more localized, so there seems to be more variation between states. The term forced adoption is more recognized, terminating parental rights is a much bigger deal. The default position is return to parents, in reality this means dc can spend years in foster care. Foster care is much less regulated and heavily privatized. The Guardian role is voluntary. This is for my state.

midgesforever · 23/08/2018 18:35

And I'll admit a fair amount of copy and paste used to go in my reports. Over stretched staff aren't going to write huge reports from scratch if they have perfectly valid quotes to hand. There are going to be repeat issues depressingly often.

auntethel · 23/08/2018 18:36

Thankyou optimus, we were desperate at the time when the kids were being damaged but now just frustrated that we can't go public with our evidence. Have to wait until the kids are mentally stronger. We'll get thereSmile

auntethel · 23/08/2018 18:44

Some unpacked boxes is a good one, isn't it? Seen that on a number of other parents' reports, even when the boxes are in the corner of parent's bedrooms, out of harm's way. As I say, often used as a filler under risk assessment.

auntethel · 23/08/2018 18:58

Recognising some of it are you Midges? What about this one " it is evident that parents" etc etc. Even when there is no such evidence and in some cases, actual documented evidence of the opposite?

toomanychilder · 23/08/2018 19:10

Evident means something we see, not necessarily something we have evidence of. It's not the same thing.

It's not surprising that parents deny things that SW write about them, is it?

auntethel · 23/08/2018 19:14

Another way they harm children is to keep siblings apart for a long time even though psychiatrists and psychologists say it is essential that the children have contact. With ours it was one year but I've seen others where it's been longer. When they finally do have contact, a worker watches and makes notes. Rather than sensibly wait until the end of the session, then just give an outline on how it went, they sit and write all the way through. This makes the children feel embarrassed and self conscious. Some then grow up suffering with paranoia

toomanychilder · 23/08/2018 19:23

Another way they harm children is to keep siblings apart for a long time even though psychiatrists and psychologists say it is essential that the children have contact. With ours it was one year but I've seen others where it's been longer

Why do you think this happens?

auntethel · 23/08/2018 19:29

I don't know, please explain. I'm talking about when the parents aren't there, btw. Just children playing under supervision of two workers, one another writing it all down.

toomanychilder · 23/08/2018 19:35

Why do you think two siblings would be kept apart, if others had said it would be best if they weren't? You have a lot of answers so you must have an opinion at least?

auntethel · 23/08/2018 19:36

Oh, got the wrong end of the stick there. You mean when they go against specialist advice and keep siblings apart? I don't know in our case, they never gave a reason. I've seen three families reports where they stated that prep work needed to be done with each child before contact, but then never did the work anyway.

Tessliketrees · 23/08/2018 19:37

auntethel

Do you think the majority of childrens social workers are intentionally malicious?

toomanychilder · 23/08/2018 19:39

Do you think there are reasons for it, like the only foster carers available being far apart, for example? Or do you imagine SW's cackling around a cauldron saying "Ooh I've got todays evil plan, we're going to keep those 2 kids apart for no reason at all, it will be brilliant fun"?

Your previous comments point towards the latter.....

auntethel · 23/08/2018 19:41

midges you've admitted that you copy and paste? In the very serious matter of whether a child will be removed? Don't you think children in that position deserve their own individual reports?

optimusprimesmother · 23/08/2018 19:44

Do you work in child services too ? As your use of ‘we’ in the post at 19:10 suggests you might?

Also auntie said :-
Another way they harm children is to keep siblings apart for a long time even though psychiatrists and psychologists say it is essential that the children have contact

Did you see the part where she said PSYCHIATRISTS and PSYCHOLOGISTS said it was essential or did you miss that?

In your post you say ‘when OTHERS say they should stay apart who is others Aunti is only taking about SW do you know more yo the case?? Why have you twisted it?

Bloody hell if you do work with in SS which I sincerely hope you don’t then it’s not hard to see why things get a bit fucked up..

optimusprimesmother · 23/08/2018 19:49

Tess and Too you both have got fuck all to add to the thread other than sneering and enjoying trying to bully another poster who clearly has had a traumatic time. Who the fuck are both of you to belittle somebody over an experience neither of you were witness too.

Your disgusting the pair of you.