To think some posters are naive about SS?

[fudgeraisinbiscuit]

I see many posts where people seem to believe either that SS will offer support and that parents who are loving and coping but struggling can contact them for a hand-hold, or posts where people believe a not ideal yet normal situation can and should be reported.

AIBU to think posters are naive about what SS actually do?

This thread was going really well, sensible general discussion until this woman was mentioned and now it's going down the rabbit hole

Yes auntie it is! How strange that you said that. My friend was visiting a short while ago from there and said the same.

Tess I’m not ruling anything out. History has long shown us women get silenced when they open their months too much

I know Holly, I am not going to engage in it anymore.

MrsThinkTwice. You’ve just described the disparity between my abusive ex (wonderful man living in Oz) and myself (cannot cope, mentally unwell and makingbup all the abuse) Its utterly shocking. My LA too refuse to accept the difference between years of being beaten down and clinical illness. They have had reports from fabulous professionals and none of it is good enough. My lovely OH (SW) even agrees at this point this is nothing more than a with Hunt orchestrated in the background by my daughter’s father with his lies, minimising and game playing. I’m exhausted - which is my fault too apparently. The SW won’t even agree that getting therapy does not equal ‘mentally unwell’,

She was set up, happens in UK now when people have too much evidence. Hasn't stopped her though. Denise Roberton on This Morning, also had a lot of evidence. As does Beverley, the Head of AIMS, the midwives association. She produced a statement at Westminster.

The only thing I quoted from that site was stats of figures. I also stated IF those are correct it is shocking.

Thread has turned now, so il leave it there.

@Tessliketrees I'm not goading hope it didn't come across like that. Of course ss balls it up. Look how stretched we are!! Good practice at all times is practically impossible in the literal sense. The suggestion that there are covert conspiracies is batshit though. There's a website called shame your sw or something. It cites my LA as having a basement where judges go to abuse kids in dungeons......I can only see the bins mind...

Its like the anti vax campaigners who think that vaccines are evil because they've never had to deal with the other side and see children actually dying from preventable diseases. Its easy to only see a false ' downside' when you've no concept of the actual downsides.
In my experience the people who think that Sws are child stealers have no clue what children are being removed from. The ones who don't believe that a parent could harm a child, or allow other people to harm them. The very fact that a lot of people are horrified that children get left in situations they feel isn't a good enough life for a child is because the standard of care that is considered 'good enough ' in court, is, to most people, really really low.
The situations that social workers remove children from are typically horrific. Situations that leave you with a sick feeling in your stomach for months until they're in care, if it can happen. Obviously social workers can't talk about those things. But for the people who haven't seen it, is very easy to assume that child abuse doesn't happen and that it's just a middle class woman in a cardigan on a power trip. Because that's easier and more comfortable to believe.

No-one can ever explain just why a council would be hellbent on getting their hands on an "adoptable" child. What is in it for them?

Consider the costs of removing a child and placing them for adoption.

Let's assume that Baby A is removed at birth, goes through a super speedy process and is adopted out of the care system within a year.

To get to that point, there would have to be a minimum of 4 social workers involved in the process (the child's SW, their boss, the adoptive parents' SW, and the SW who runs the matching process). Let's keep things simple and assume that they are all on the average salary of about £30k pa. There are other employers' costs involved (NI, tax, providing an office, equipment etc etc). Let's say that it costs the council £45k pa to employ them. 45x4 = £180k pa. Divide that by the average number of cases each SW manages (18), and that's a cost of about £10k in SW time to take through a "simple" adoption.

That's before we add in the legal costs of applying for an order to remove a child which can be extensive, if the family oppose it, and therefore expensive - particularly if Counsel is engaged.

It's before we add in the costs of foster care (average of £450 allowance and fees per week - 24 weeks at this rate is £10,800)

It's before we add in any additional costs that arise over the lifetime of that child, such as Pupil Premium payments to school. Or funded therapy (becoming rarer, but LAs do still fund this in many cases). Or the costs of running the actual panel that agrees that Baby A should be placed with Family B (at least 12 people, comprising SWs, doctor, lay experts, council members... Even expenses only of, say, £50 each a day soon adds up)

We are looking at costs of over £20k and probably closer to £25k just for one adoption, and probably a lot more (I'm deliberately rounding down in order to avoid accusations of over-egging it)

Adopters pay nothing towards the cost of the system (other than the court fee for the adoption order). The "bonuses" that get thrown around as "evidence" for a covert system of forced adoption don't touch the sides of the costs incurred by a local authority.

So I ask again, why would a public body pursue a policy of forced adoption? What is in it for them? And does this sound at all feasible?

Queenofthedrivensnow

I didn't think you were goading, I know how hard it is to work with so little resources with a vulnerable group and I do not envy childrens social workers. The system is so stretched now it is almost like it's designed to filter out the good and retain the bad.

@OlennasWimple £38k

Thank you for this thread OP, I'm so thankful to see parents speaking out about the way they've been treated.

Ah, x post with Queenofthedrivelsnow's figure - I went away then came back to finish the post...

One of the things I've seen misinterpreted a few times is where the money goes. I had a parent go mad at me once because their barrister mentioned the cost of residential care - several thousand a week.
The parent assumed that we were being paid that. They were astounded that our dept paid that out. It was honestly the breakthrough with them as to them, it was 'proof' that we cared about their child to spend that much money on them (and no, the times id been out with the family until the early hours of the morning dealing with various emergencies didn't count)

@OlennasWimple you were close though- the remaining £10k will be legal aid to the family I reckon

On one hand you have things like the lady in the video above (who is utterly batshit and dangerous) and on the other you have people claiming that social services do no wrong

most of us do neither, instead understanding the reality that most SW are pretty good people working very hard at a thankless task without enough resources in a broken system. And that sometimes they do well and sometimes they don't.

In Portugal the UK is known as the child stealing nation

In the UK Portugal is known as a haven for paedophiles.

most of us do neither

I meant on this thread and others like it.

I know.

Denise Roberton on This Morning, also had a lot of evidence

Denise Robertson should be knitting under some gallows somewhere

She didn't have any evidence.

Children let so long in awful circumstances that they come out very damaged and too challenging or too old for adoption is scandalous but the conspiracy theorists ignore all that

I think most social workers would say that the removing of dc from their family home works on a bit of a pendulum based on the latest tragedy or legislation either end of the swing isn't going to give you the best balance between keeping families together where possible and keeping dc safe.

Lots of removed children are placed with family members. This is called a connected carer arrangement and is commonplace. Again not good for headlines...

I have had personal experience of SS with my family. Stressful though that was, I found them to be quite helpful and reasonable.. I think it's a tough job and I am grateful that they are doing it for all our sakes.

Plus i find being told im doing parenting wrong by a jumped up SW who doesnt even have kids, let alone teenagers, whose 10 years younger than me and has no clue very offensive. Honestly dont think some SW live in the real world at all.