To think I can wear what I want in my own house?

[Practicallyperfectwithprosecco]

New neighbours and I think they might be slightly mad.

Few weeks ago she complained about me and oldest dd being in the garden wearing bikinis ( not even teeny bikinis ) as she has a husband and a teenage son and they might see us. I tried hard to make sure if I was out there sunbathing I was away from her garden and moved the kids pool so it would be harder for them to be seen from their fence. ( - the only way they can see in to our garden is when on trampoline, their raised patio or looking out of upstairs window)

This morning I was cleaning kitchen in my pjs (vest and shorts so not revealing) dd was stood by open patio doors chatting to me in shorts and a crop top she sleeps in. Next thing mrs next door is banging on my front door telling me I'm continuing to disrespect her and her family by the provocative way we dress! If we continue to flaunt ourselves she will be complaining to my husband!

I wasn't quite sure what to say - I suggested she maybe wanted to refrain from looking into my house over her fence if we were upsetting her.

She is totally unhinged!

Also, not comfortable with the thought of encouraging youg girls to behave in this way

First, they are not young girls, they are teenagers.
Second, teenage girls behave this way without any encouragement necessary.
Third, the OP isn't persuading them to drink alcohol or anything else inappropriate for their age.
Fourth, if the neighbour doesn't want her DH or DS to see them, then she should tell them to stop ogling other people's children in a private garden.

Young girls are teenagers.
Young girls should not be weaponised and drawn into a dispute between adults.
Teenage girls should not be encouraged to mess around (it sounds like such innocent, childish behaviour) to aggravate and be watched by an 'audience' they're unaware of.

The OP is also being beyond thick. She has no idea why this woman is so desperate that nothing remotely intimate is seen by males living in the house next door. She could have reasons for this.

If she complains to your husband, OP, what will he say? To her? To you?

She would hate my next door neighbour - she has a hot tub and as soon as she gets rid of teenage son she gets in it topless and also sunbathes topless! At least twice I've been treated to saggy tits when opening my curtains in the morning! I'd love a neighbour that wore as much as vest top and shorts in their garden!

Heartease68 - whatever the neighbours reasons for being like this she is completely out of order in her complaints. It is NO ONES business what the OP and her teenage children wear in THEIR* OWN* home or garden! If their is a reason her husband and son can't see any female flesh then I consider this the neighbours problem to overcome NOT the OP's.

@heart what possible sensible reason could she have? Other than a 'victim' blaming mentality which places the blame for men being unable to control themselves at women's feet?

The thing is the UK is a relatively liberal country. If you come from elsewhere then our ways are sometimes quite shocking. I absolutely agree that you should be allowed to wear what you like and they obviously have a marriage where the man is head of the household etc. Nevertheless I do think that deliberately upsetting them is not necessarily the way to go.

As funny as the thread is (and the party is a great idea), I'm pretty sure it's not the son's fault and having a load of teenage girls do that to him isn't funny at all.

Do what to him? Exist?? Have a fun afternoon in their own garden?

The OP is also being beyond thick. She has no idea why this woman is so desperate that nothing remotely intimate is seen by males living in the house next door. She could have reasons for this

100% disagree with this.
The OP and family are in their house and garden. The NDNs reasons are irrelevant to the unless the NDN chooses to share them.
I knew they sounded like religious nuts from the moment I read your OP.
But I also agree, no upside to antagonising them or drawing the DCs into it either.

I personally think she gave up her right to be treat respectfully by her neighbours when she banged on their door and tried to enforce her rules and values onto op in her own home! That's terrible behaviour and o thought the ott hilarity was obviously just for added entertainment of the thread? And being slightly passive aggressive MAY result in the winding in of necks. what if this family moved next door to a different family with no humour. Imagine being the father and the neighbour calling to let you know her dh and ds have been peeping into the garden and getting too excited at seeing his teenage daughter showing a bit of flesh? If rather be laughed at than be dodging right hooks from an angry dad!

I actually feel for her kids. The best bit about having ndn your age group is weekends like this chilling in the back garden.

Not only do they have a fruitcake mother they are going to feel socially excluded as well

What possible reason could she have that becomes the OP responsibility?

It's not acceptable to police dress in people's own homes even if it comes from a place of need for the other person

I am slightly laughing as well at the "I'll tell your husband " , DP has about as much control over my actions as I do success in herding kittens and teaching them to moon walk

Plus my DP is far more snarky than I am and once he had picked himself up off the floor from laughing would spend the next six months sitting in the garden in a mankini cheerfully waving at her

Agreed report if this continues otherwise just ignore her she's a loon

Wow.

Sexist, rude, patronising and pathetic all in one.

I saw an older woman and a younger woman in the shortest of shorts yesterday (cardigan was longer) on the train.

I did think it was a bit odd but you know, it's up to them.

In your own house/garden? The 'lady' can fuck off.

Stand your strong so DD knows this nonesense is just that.

Oh and tell her to stop or you'll have to talk to her husband

Having a laugh and a joke about an awkward situation is a good thing, but people berating the op isn't on. She and her dd aren't doing a thing wrong! You can wear shorts and a vest in public so its hardly terrible that you should wear similar in your own home! It may be unacceptable to her due to religious or cultural reasons but to expect everyone to follow them is beyond unreasonable.in the UK, wearing such an outfit fits in with the general culture and is well within any laws. If op was to pop round and tell them they are out of order for what they believe and they are to blame for oppressing women and allowing sexual preditors to be excused if the woman on the receiving end is dressed a certain way - that would be unacceptable so why is the ndn ok to do what she did?

Some nice witchy ornaments for your garden, Ann summers underwear dangling from the line and some stratically placed fairly innocent sex toys around next time she knocks on your door.... Depending on how old your dc are of course

Ok firstly I am not thick - I do however object to being told what I can or can't wear in my own home.

It's bank holiday weekend coming up and the weather is nice so dd is having her some of friends round to go in pool and have a bbq and behave like normal 14/15 year old girls - I am positive they have absolutely no interest in attracting the attention of anyone next door. I will not however be policing their swimwear. And I am not dragging them into the argument and they won't be doing anything to the boy.

I'm not doing it to antagonise crazy lady next door and she can complain all she wants no doubt to DH as he clearly needs to keep an eye on me.

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Well I hope you go round this evening and complain to her husband about you! Point out she’s indirectly calling him a pervert and you’re sure he isn’t!

Blimey, when the weather is good I’m topless in my back garden! Admittedly in a fairly secluded corner but if neighbours craned their neck they could see me. No idea if they have or not.

I can’t begin to understand what goes through some people’s heads.

You were a lot more polite than I would’ve been OP.

It could be worse. My cousins once went round to see the (overweight) vicar about some village business.

They had not expected to find him sitting in the garden enjoying the sunshine - without wearing a single stitch.

Wear what you like in your house and enjoy having fun in your garden wearing whatever you fancy, when she comes around again tell her you are unhappy with her harassment of you and will be making a complaint if she continues in such a manner.

@practically - sorry if I sounded that I was criticising, I wasn’t, just in amongst the hilarity (which indeed it is) that I didn’t think antagonising them would be good.

Hope DD has a lovely party!

Please warn your husband as he is going to get a talking too 😂! He can get a witty reply ready ndn is batshit enjoy your party 🎉

@TheIcon "will end up on some sort of register". I AM DYING. Slowly!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂