To think I can wear what I want in my own house?

[Practicallyperfectwithprosecco]

New neighbours and I think they might be slightly mad.

Few weeks ago she complained about me and oldest dd being in the garden wearing bikinis ( not even teeny bikinis ) as she has a husband and a teenage son and they might see us. I tried hard to make sure if I was out there sunbathing I was away from her garden and moved the kids pool so it would be harder for them to be seen from their fence. ( - the only way they can see in to our garden is when on trampoline, their raised patio or looking out of upstairs window)

This morning I was cleaning kitchen in my pjs (vest and shorts so not revealing) dd was stood by open patio doors chatting to me in shorts and a crop top she sleeps in. Next thing mrs next door is banging on my front door telling me I'm continuing to disrespect her and her family by the provocative way we dress! If we continue to flaunt ourselves she will be complaining to my husband!

I wasn't quite sure what to say - I suggested she maybe wanted to refrain from looking into my house over her fence if we were upsetting her.

She is totally unhinged!

Can’t wait for the update after the party !!

In all seriousness I would keep a log of everything she is saying / doing . Things like this have a habit of escalating . If it does I would call the police (101) to report - best to nip this in the bud early !! Good luck 😊

“But I also agree, no upside to antagonising them or drawing the DCs into it either.”

I also agree the neighbour should not have antagonised the OP and drawn the OPs and her children into it. But as she did, the OP shouldn’t just bend over and politely take it up the arse.

"...the OP shouldn’t just bend over and politely take it up the arse." Especially in the garden when they can spy from the trampoline. 😱😏

Get your husband a mankini to wear in the garden.

BlaaBlaaBlaa Isn't it obvious? Maybe she doesn't feel she can trust her husband for reasons unknown to the OP. Who is now trying to get girls (who may still be technically children) to flaunt themselves in his direction.

OP, I agree with your gripes against your neighbour. But your post about trying to get girls in bikinis to do pouting selfies right in their eyeline...yes, you're being thick.

Unless you're planning to run this plan past their parents and get signed consent of course. Oh, you weren't going to tell them, were you.

@heart why is that the OPs problem? She should take that up with her husband not the women he may or may not be perving over.

Misogynistic victim blaming.

For the second time I have no intention of getting any children involved in this ridiculous argument. I said that as a joke and I am sure dd and her friends will be taking many pouty selfies with various filters for their own amusement and will have no interest in the boy or his parents next door!

blablabla Don't pull that card in such a disingenuous way. If the OP is willing to put herself on that trampoline in a bikini pulling pouty poses purely to antagonise someone who may have a problem, I'm fine with it. It's putting other people's children up there I have the problem with.

As for you, OP.

The girls will be encouraged to go on the trampoline in their bikinis and to do their best pouty hair flipping selfies whilst facing the direction of the teenage son

I'm not doing it to antagonise

Keep digging, dear.

Another song for the list. Itsty bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini

She sounds batshit.
I've just relayed the story to dh who has almost wet himself laughing imagining anybody trying to get him to tell me what to do.

Ide be more worried about what thoughts her dh and ds are having a think a 101 call would be in order.

@heart well stop with the victim blaming. You stated that she might not be able to trust her husband. Again, why is that the OPs problem? If her husband can't be trusted around women or teenage girls wearing bikinis then I'd suggest she has a much bigger problem.

Jeez heartsease68 talk about stepping back in bloody time!! Women can and should wear what they want without worrying about flaunting as you say themselves.....ooh the poor men folk just can't help themselves can they. Seriously if she worries for whatever reason ( I can only think of wrong reasons) then she needs to police them not the neighbours.

Please, please, please clean naked next time.

Am I the only one who feels a little bit sorry for the son.

Poor lad's probally mortified, dying of embaressment at his mother.

I mean the husband finding an underave child "provocative" is a whole other issue.

But the teenage boy whos clearly having a very sheltered life I pitty. Not his fault his parents are bat shit crazy.

I hate nosey neighbours, you go topless if you want. 😂

If my daughter and her friends wanted to pose in bikinis, bounce on the trampoline and take selfies, that would be fine.

If I had a neighbour who seemed unnaturally anxious about her husband and son seeing an inch of flesh, I'd take that as possibly a warning that one of them might have given her reason to think he could be a predator (hence her thinking that he mustn't be tempted). I don't agree with that line of thought (because of course it's her problem). The only part that interests me is the next door neighbours anxiety about her husband seeing female flesh. You have to be alert. If she's anxious, I'm slightly wary.

Then you have the idea of bouncing in a bikini because you want to and encouraging someone else (possibly underage) to bounce in a bikini for the sake of someone else seeing it. I have no problem with bouncing in a bikini and expecting others not to ogle. So there's no victim blaming at all from me. However, I would not be pushing my daughter into a position where I knew others were watching (because clearly they are, whether they should be or not) and where I also had reason to possibly be wary.

Plus, I wouldn't go out of my way to piss off my neighbours. I wouldn't alter my life in unreasonable ways but I wouldn't alter my behaviour one iota just to get a kick out of offending someone else. Life's too short for that malice.

@heart if that was the case ....but I highly doubt it given the other bits of information ( threatening to tell to op's husband for example) then I suspect she'd be approaching it in a very different way.

Again, this is victim blaming. Are you suggesting women shouldn't be wearing whatever they want Just incase there is a predatory man nearby? Can you not see the issues with this line of thinking?

If it's a semi or terrace please have loud sex!

If she does send her dh round, can your dh please please please do the "and now you'll leave" thing? PLEASE!

Why are people incapable of detecting a joke on mumsnet?
Do people really think she is going to stand there with a big stick or something forcing teenagers to trampoline semi naked against their will?

That should say SOME people sorry

Luckily most of us can tell when something is exaggerated for a joke.

Op teen having a BH bbq normal!

Thread moving fast with lots of silly suggestions - OP returns with own quote of how to rile up situation.

Most MNer can tell the difference between the serious and silly parts of thread

1.........

Totally none of her business and as said bordering on insanity ! By any chance is she complaining on religious grounds ?

DH took rather a long time to stop laughing his unhelpful suggestions include buying me dodgy pvc underwear to hang on washing line and a few public displays of affection when they next have one of their sing songs ( our 11 year old would also probably tell us off for that). He is not to keen on the mankini idea ( spoil sport) but is happy to go and water the garden when only wearing his pants. Perhaps I should get him some speedos?
He is waiting for her to have a word with him about the wayward women he lives with and he will ask for suggestions of what he should tell us to wear.

It sounds like this woman is worried about her husband perving on you and your daughter. She obviously either has no self confidence or is downright jealous of how you both look that she can’t deal with it. Maybe her husband has strayed.
If there is a next time as you must continue to wear what you like in your own house (!); ask her what she’s worried about. If she gets nasty, say her husband waved or winked at you through their window!!