To think I can wear what I want in my own house?

[Practicallyperfectwithprosecco]

New neighbours and I think they might be slightly mad.

Few weeks ago she complained about me and oldest dd being in the garden wearing bikinis ( not even teeny bikinis ) as she has a husband and a teenage son and they might see us. I tried hard to make sure if I was out there sunbathing I was away from her garden and moved the kids pool so it would be harder for them to be seen from their fence. ( - the only way they can see in to our garden is when on trampoline, their raised patio or looking out of upstairs window)

This morning I was cleaning kitchen in my pjs (vest and shorts so not revealing) dd was stood by open patio doors chatting to me in shorts and a crop top she sleeps in. Next thing mrs next door is banging on my front door telling me I'm continuing to disrespect her and her family by the provocative way we dress! If we continue to flaunt ourselves she will be complaining to my husband!

I wasn't quite sure what to say - I suggested she maybe wanted to refrain from looking into my house over her fence if we were upsetting her.

She is totally unhinged!

Blast Carols from King's across your garden (you'll find albums, cassettes, cds, in charity shops) while doing naked yoga. You have to have this juxtaposition for full brain-exploding effect.

Stand next to the fence/their windows with binoculars and when they demand to know what the hell you're doing, say 'trying to get tips on appropriate dress so we can avoid single handedly leading the men in your life into sin. I figured because you spend so much time stalking our movements on our property you'd be ok with us doing the same'.

I'm gobsmacked at her bare faced audacity!

I'd start playing certain Prince songs loudly. She'll keel over when she hears some of his lyrics

Prince? Nah, start with System of a Down's Cigarro, then maybe Reggie Watts.

An adult male going out of his way to observe what your daughter is wearing in her own home and garden is a concern

I was just going to suggest porn music 🤣🤣 and maybe keep an Ann summers bag or 2 in the car to transfer anything and everything from car to house! You could even start walking I. An exaggerated slow motion style with hair flips!

But seriously I'd tell her that voyeurism is far more antisocial than weather appropriate comfy clothes!

Are these your neighbours OP.....? If so, dress like Brad and Janet after their 'treatment'....that should get their fervour going.... Kumbya, my lord, Kumbya....

Have you heard Sister? Lady Cab Driver?

NDN will combust

Just ignore her and carry on. She can't actually do anything about it. As you said to her, if she doesn't like it she is free to direct her gaze elsewhere!

Kaftans and turbans you say? Ah, I see what’s happened here, do you by any chance live in the ‘70s, OP?

What a crazy bitch. Tomorrow morning you should walk about completely naked and see how she likes it.

If also tell her that if it continues you will report the dh and ds for peeping and her for harassment and trespassing if she continues to come onto your property.

Basically she thinks you and dd are responsible for the actions of the men in her family and they must have problems controlling themselves.

This sort of woman is one I imagine would tell a young girl that showing skin is 'asking for the wrong type of attention' aka sexual assault or harassment. She's deplorable and you should tell her so! She's as bad as any man objectifying women.

The fact she views your husband as the true authority in your house tells you everything you need to know..

ignore!

And if she continues the songs please tell her you to stop, your DC might hear and she's disrespecting your family!!

And if she asks to speak to your husband, he should come down in a g string...

Is be sunbathing topless in a thong I think. And yes to inviting a gang of 15 yr old girls round

This has been a truly hilariously bonkers read. What a strange woman your neighbour is OP!!

Its fine, just look blank and smile and say ‘why?’ and get about your day. Hopefully they will move.

I also agree with telling her you're going to be reporting her to the police for harassment and 'peeping' if she says anything again. You aren't doing anything wrong; she is.

I detest people who police women because they think women should adjust their lives and wardrobes so boys and men don't leer/stare/think unpure thoughts/treat women objectively because 'they asked for it'. Vile.

I'd also decide to host an impromptu pool party iwhen they have their next religious singing get-together. Bikinis all around!

I sunbathe topless in the most private part of my garden but if my neighbours wanted to they could come over to the fence, find a gap in the hedge and be able to see me. [I know OP is not naked or topless and is wearing summer / sleeping clothes in her garden and home and that her neighbour is being VU] I believe the law to be that we have the right to be uncovered in a place which we would expect to be private, so in our gardens and homes, anyone watching you in a place you would expect to be private is committing an offence. So, this neighbour has no right whatsoever and not a leg to stand on to either complain to you or about you, even if you weren't dressed in bikinis or pyjamas.

snorts into coffee
I really wish the thought of a DH in a mankini and a trampoline had not been put in my head

Crazy!
Next time she comes to your door, just stare and slam the door in her face.

I never cease to be amazed at the world of crazy mn reveals. She is obviously not only off her rocker, but unpleasant to boot. Agree with pp - keep a diary off her riddiculous intrusions into your family life and if it continues/ gets worse, report!

*of

For your husband, OP.

She's a loon. Tell her to get a life and stop fucking looking.

She’s cracked.

I wouldn’t mow the lawnmower today though.

...I’d save that for when they’re singing in the garden. Then when I was finished up put ear defenders on DS and play any music with swearing and horrible lyrics (I’d have to search for it first 😂). Anti social tosspots holding ‘sessions’ in their garden.

IF she’s stupid enough to complain about your & your DD’s clothes again, I’d clearly explain that I will be reporting her DH and DS to the police...and her.