Would you go on holiday with 1 DC and not the other?

[Ashiz]

19 year old has booked a trip to NYC for my 50th. 20 year old will be home from uni during that time. We would not be away for my actual birthday and will do something together on the day. DD(20) is really upset. Would you go?

Of course I'd go.
I'd be incredibly proud of my 19 yr old and would be pointing out to my 20 yr old that they hadn't got money, because they liked to spend on all sorts of things their sister didn't - their choice.
You've supported them both the same. It is your dds who have chosen to live their lives differently. The 20 yr old has nothing to moan about.

@ashiz i think you would be incredibly rude to decline. Your 19 year old chose to save her money and also chose not to invite her sibling. Her reasons are nobody elses business. She did something nice for you. Its got nothing to do with her sibling. If her sibling wants to do something nice she can, and she chooses who to invite. I feel it would be ungrateful to say you wont go and also you would be putting the 20 year old (who didnt bother saving for new york for you and surprising you) over the 19 year old if you fought her corner. Your 19 year old will have her reasons for not inviting her.

Of course you must go, think how upset your daughter would be if you didn’t! Your elder daughter is being selfish by trying to make it all about her. Tell her to butt out!

Oh please go. And treat her some while you are away if you feel guilty about accepting such a massive gift.

What a lovely thing for your daughter to do for you.

How does a 19 year old afford that?

If you work all Summer, you can earn more than enough to pay for holidays.

Some students choose to spend that on drink / takeaways / drugs / mini-breaks / clothes / running a car / clubbing /expensive phone contracts / beauty treatments / meals out / gigs / sports equipment / travel / all sorts. OP's dd has chosen to spend it on a wonderful experience for both herself and her Mum - may have been very canny with what she's booked / got a good price, etc for all we know. (Might even have won it in a competition).

I'm taking one of mine away without the other. I'm taking DD1 to Athens for a short trip for her 18th birthday present.
BUT... II checked with the younger one first, and would have taken her too. However, she doesn't enjoy flying and it involves connecting flights there and back, so she's not keen anyway.

What exactly is the 20 year old so upset about? That she isn’t going, or that she won’t get to see you on your actual birthday, or that her present pales in comparison? What does she want you to do about it? Is she telling you that you shouldn’t go because it isn’t fair, or is it that she has just not quite accepted that you are going without her?

I want to know these things too!

me too