To think my mum did a really bad thing today?

[pawg]

Name changed.

DD has chickenpox. My mum had her today as I was at work. I've just got in and found out she took her to the park today where DD played with a friend from school she bumped into.
The friend's dad has cancer-I've no idea where at in treatment he is but I'm so angry that my mum has put others at risk.
WIBU to ask that she does not take her anywhere whilst DD still has spots that haven't scabbed over?
I know mum is doing me a massive favour having DD 2 days a week during the holidays so aren't sure if I can say this.

I think you need to point this out. You aren't criticising her care of your child, you are making it clear she could kill someone with that level of complacancy.

YANBU of course she can't take DD out when she has chicken pox that haven't scabbed. Did the friend's parents know DD has chicken pox? 9I would hope if the friend hasn't had Chicken pox yet she might have already been vaccinated).

Did your DM not know she was meant to be keeping DD in?

Of course you can say - she behaved really irresponsibly! Please also contact the family with the dad with cancer and let them know about the issue, there may be something they can do to protect him.

I think you really need to ring the school friend's parent and warn them. The dad might have to stay elsewhere while they find out if their daughter is infectious.

I've messaged a few people to try get in touch with the friend from school's dad.

Mum worked in healthcare and should know better-she knows I've kept DD in and I expected the same even though DD has perked up a little today.

I'm not sure if the school friend has had them/is vaccinated. DD has very obvious spots all over, mainly scabbed but not all.

I am so worried.

That's terrible. You're doing absolutely the right thing by trying to warn this man.

Morally you are completely reasonable to tell your mum to keep your daughter inside. But do you trust her to do it? That's the real problem with unpaid childcare: you have no leverage.

Please don’t worry. Was the friend your DD played with accompanied by an adult? Surely they would have seen the very obvious spots you describe and decided it was not a concern?

They could have kept their child away from potential infection (which is everywhere) but decided on balance the risk was manageable so you shouldn’t feel guilty.

I've found him on social media and messaged him.

Good for you OP.

Well if he’s got a weakened immune system, she may well have caused him to become extremely ill. Horrid, selfish behaviour.

That's awful behaviour! Thank you for informing them, you've absolutely done the right thing. I take chemotherapy and chickwn pox is a huge deal and can make me/others on chemo so ill. Your mum working in healthcare should know better but you've done all you can now. Hopefully she'll think a little next time!

I'm watching the message to see if it gets read. If not I'll call school in the morning for a contact number-I'm not going over the top am I?

Well done for contacting the child's father and don't panic. Now that he knows about the possible exposure, he can be given a treatment (gamma globulin) similar to a vaccine, to stop him developing chickenpox if he is not already immune. So no harm will come to him but of course your DM was BVU.

Just read your update - no, you are not going OTT. But I doubt the school will give out his number. You need to explain the situation, ask them to ring him and let him ring you.

Don’t ask- insist.

I got into a lift earlier this week and was followed in by a child with chicken pox. I’m in early pregnancy and it really annoyed me. I wanted to give the parents a piece of my mind but instead I just tried not to breathe.

Thank you everyone for all of your replies. I really hoped IWNBU.

If the school won't give number I'll ask them to pass the message or give my number to his dad.

I will definitely make sure he finds out-I called a health line to ask and they said he definitely needs to know if on chemo-as I've said, I don't know if he is but I can't not let him know in case.

In this case you know of the problem - I wonder who she will be exposed to tomorrow?

Did she say why she did that OP?

I've messaged my mum to say if she isn't happy staying in with DD then to let me know and I'll take unpaid leave

No, she didn't say why

You're not going over the top at all. Mum has Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma and I have breast cancer. Thank you, seriously. You are a responsible and decent human being, thinking about other people.

I've messaged mum again and told her if she can't stay in I'll take more leave. She's agreed to stay in

Still not read-will it be too late by morning to let him know?

Sorry, I'm really panicking. I'm absolutely mortified