To think my mum did a really bad thing today?

[pawg]

Name changed.

DD has chickenpox. My mum had her today as I was at work. I've just got in and found out she took her to the park today where DD played with a friend from school she bumped into.
The friend's dad has cancer-I've no idea where at in treatment he is but I'm so angry that my mum has put others at risk.
WIBU to ask that she does not take her anywhere whilst DD still has spots that haven't scabbed over?
I know mum is doing me a massive favour having DD 2 days a week during the holidays so aren't sure if I can say this.

You might need to send him a friend request if it's Facebook otherwise he might not get a notification that you have sent him a message or at least it used to be this way.

He's probably/hopefully immune, OP. Most people are - around 90% of the population, and most will be fine, even on chemo, if exposed as a result, is my understanding. And you are literally doing absolutely everything you can.

You do know that none of this is your fault, right? You don't control your mum! You're mopping up someone else's mess, here. I know you're feeling responsible for any risk, but you really, really aren't.

You sound a lovely person. We could do with more like you in the world.

You sound a lovely person. We could do with more like you in the world.

Heartily seconded.

ZZzZZ what a ridiculous thing to say! If you've not been vaccinated or had your children vaccinated then you've chosen to take the risk of coming into contact with infections that might impact you!
If you were immunosuppressant, then you will have been advised how to avoid risk. Yes, taking a child knowingly with chicken pox to a park isn't ideal, however the child will have been at the most infectious stage 2 days before the rash appears, and once scabs appear is no longer infectious.

I've friend requested him now

What a wonderful person you are OP, what happened was not your fault and you are going above and beyond what most would do, unfortunately. From someone with a family member battling cancer I truly thank you.

Please don't thank me, I let DD be with my mum without specifically stating she had to be kept at home. Still not read on fb message so left a voicemail through it and a friend request. I just really hope I can get through.

If you've not been vaccinated or had your children vaccinated then you've chosen to take the risk of coming into contact with infections that might impact you!

Chicken pox is not part of the British immunisation schedule yet. Most people aren't vaccinated, and immunity is by previous infection alone.

Even if it were, many immunosuppressed people are often unable to be vaccinated at all with live viruses. Varicella vaccine is via live virus.

How awful what a shock.
How can people be so silly. And within the Internet and fast information there is no excuse

Incidentally, you can get your kids privately vaccinated against chickenpox, very cheaply, at some branches of Superdrug. Chickenpox is usually really mild (though a handful of people do sadly die every year) but shingles later on in life is not.

I should never have gone to work

which is why they are starting to give adults over 70 the shingles jab

You are not going ott at all that was really silly of your mum to do. My ds has chicken pox just now too and ive been taking him out in his buggy to a quiet bit where i walk my dog thats out the way of people so we can get some fresh air

Don't blame yourself. Anyone with half a brain knows that you don't take a child with chickenpox out in public.

How long is it since her first spots appeared? I thought latest research shows you are only infectious up to 5 days after the first spots - unless the actual pus gets transferred.

which is why they are starting to give adults over 70 the shingles jab

Yeah, but I have a friend with badly impaired vision in one eye after getting shingles on an optic nerve in her 20s. It was horrendous - she was in so much pain, and she needed Moorfields Eye Hospital. It's more dangerous in elderly people but I dread it striking any of my family at any age, tbh. I'm sure most cases aren't that awful, but that's the one I've seen at close quarters.

OP you trusted your own mum, who has a medical background, to behave with common sense. Who wouldn't? It is not your fault. At all.

90% of adults are immune, and he's probably fine. His son may well be immune already, too.

I did an awful thing leaving dad with my mum didn't I?
It's not a drip as not relevant to the thread but I'm only just back in work after years off for a huge BPD episode.

I thought I shouldn't leave her but can't trust myself. Now I've made a huge mistake that could cost someone their life

Your mum was unreasonable.

But if your child's spots were obvious I am sure the carer of the other child noticed and will let dad know and he can take action to minimise risk if needed.

You are right to try and let dad know but hopefully he does already.

DD not dad, obviously

Sorry mumsastudent that was an attempt to support your point!

Sleep for me.

OP, you are not in the wrong here in any way.

The friend was in the park with his dad-does that give a bit of hope as to him being over chemo?

You did not do an awful thing. She would've known the risks.
This is not your fault

Please don’t blame yourself. You are doing all the right things.l Hope the dad gets in touch with you, so you can have piece of mind. for you. You are a lovely person.

It is not your fault, or your mistake.

1. the other child may have had chicken pox already

2. your child may not have been in close enough contact to pass it on.

3. it was likely obvious to the family your dd had chicken pox and the will act on that info.

4. if chicken pox is going about children are infectious for up to 3 weeks before spots so impossible to keep in at that stage.