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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

(D)H ate all the cake!

111 replies

TwittleBee · 20/08/2018 08:02

So fuming atm, there was a lovely chocolate cake on the side from when my grandparents came over (only 1 slice had been eaten, by my nan). I said to him last night that he could have a bit after dinner if he wanted. This morning I go to grab some to take as a snack for work (we are tight on money this month so all I've got is a peanut butter sandwich otherwise) and find he's eaten the whole thing! He ate a load last night and this morning apparently.

AIBU to be fuming with him? I told him I'm upset and he said he doesn't see the problem.

OP posts:
CandidaAlbicans · 20/08/2018 09:13

Maybe IABU for not clearing stating I meant for him to save me some

No you're not. He's an adult and does not need to be told to consider other people. He was damn selfish for scoffing the lot. I know it could be seen as a trivial matter, but it's hardly a sign that he considers you much. That's the problem. The cake scoffing is a symptom of something more upsetting IMO, and I bet there are many more examples of twattishness eh? Doing you a favour by not leaving any for you?! WTF does he mean by that?

Original poster
TwittleBee · 20/08/2018 09:14

knittingdad haha maybe you could have words with my DH?

OP posts:
sashh · 20/08/2018 09:16

Have you read, 'the help' OP it has a rather interesting cake recipe in it.

He's a selfish arse.

My 16th birthday cake was eaten buy the dog we had as a child. The dog had the good grace to do the,'I know I've done something wrong' face.

Mrsmadevans · 20/08/2018 09:16

I think we need a diagram

LeftRightCentre · 20/08/2018 09:16

He's now saying I'm blowing it all out of the water as it's only a cake and that I said I didn't want snacks for work (I said that because I said I would choose us having extra veg in our dinner than me having snacks for work whislt we are tight on cash!).

Do NOT let him off with that! Answer him back, 'Bollocks I'm blowing it out of the water. You know damn well how fucking selfish and greedy that is without my needing to spell it out to you like you're a toddler. Forget trying to minimise or gaslight me whenever you behave like a selfish git! It was a greedy, nasty thing to do and you know it!'

IVEgotthePOWER · 20/08/2018 09:17

Was he stoned...

llangennith · 20/08/2018 09:18

Introduce him to the word SHARE.
Tell him whatever food there is in the house at any given moment is to be shared in future. No discussion.
So he's in no doubt at all in the future that he cannot eat more than his share of anything.

SoozC · 20/08/2018 09:20

I can't believe he ate virtually a whole cake between dinner and breakfast. And tried to use the excuse of doing you a "favour"?

I'm the one in my marriage who loves food but even I know when to stop! DH is the kind of guy who can make a chocolate bar last a month; he puts the rest in the fridge and it'll sit there until he remembers it and has some more. I don't touch it, much as I might like to, because it's not mine.

I agree with pp that maybe it's time to stop cooking him every meal, OP. It sounds like he's just used to eating anything put in front of him.

Butterymuffin · 20/08/2018 09:20

Tell him tonight there's no dinner for him because you've already eaten it all. And that you did it as a favour to him after he'd gorged on chocolate cake.

TheWonderfulCat · 20/08/2018 09:21

What Left said. Lose your shit at him and show him you wont let him walk all over you.
The disrespect is disgusting

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 20/08/2018 09:22

Even my DD (11) when she's fridge raiding will asking before taking the last of something. She knows how to share and understands that "Having a bit" means that you have some and leave the rest.

Original poster
TwittleBee · 20/08/2018 09:27

LeftRightCentre don't worry I've already said pretty much what you said for me to say to him! He's not having it still though. He just said I didn't tell him to save him any so I said I didn't tell him he could eat it all though!

OP posts:
SaoirseTheSeahorse · 20/08/2018 09:29

As if any adult needs to be told not to eat an entire chocolate cake Hmm. He sounds infuriating op!

5BlueHydrangea · 20/08/2018 09:30

As we say în our house... P.I.G.!

GoneWishing · 20/08/2018 09:33

Grim. It's the kind of thing I might have done at the height of my bulimia, when any "binge food" in the house was an irresistable compulsion, but it's grim, grim, grim! (And I'd at least apologise and get more for DH as soon as I could!)

LeftRightCentre · 20/08/2018 09:33

There'd be no dinner for him. He ate his already. In fact, I'd stop cooking for this bloke.

TechnicalSergeantGarp · 20/08/2018 09:33

Only child comment is a load of rubbish, your DH (like the ops) is a selfish, greedy arsehole.

Fil is one of 6. If there are 4 people and 4 chicken breasts he'll take two and all of the carrots cos he doesn't eat any other veg. He will add a tonne of salt and vinegar to a bowl of roast potatoes cos that's how he likes them. If food is dished up he will go looking for more so that he can have what he considers to be his fair (lion's) share. We'd always have dinner and pudding so it's not hunger. It's a type of meaness and selfishness that stems from him being the man of the house and others in his life enabling him. Like your OH he's a greedy pig and has food issues.

Nousernameforme · 20/08/2018 09:37

Sorry off topic but i am making a chocolate cake later this week and does anybody know how you get the top icing from the poem. The cracking one where it doesn't seriously crack but there is a slight skin that kind of crackles as is gives way.

Op, he was a dick and he knows it. my own DP has done similar twice once he bought me a big box of maltesers after the birth of dc 1 and then ate them all in the hospital and the 2nd was the Christmas before where I went to bed Christmas eve and laid out the Christmas snacks (we couldn't afford a lot it was just a tub of nuts and some chocs and biscuits) he stayed up online for a while I came down Christmas morning and he had eaten the lot and hadn't even thrown the packets away.

Both times he made out like it was no big deal and it fucking was. He is better now but i do make sure everyone else has had a look in first.

longwayoff · 20/08/2018 09:41

Only Michael Rosen understands.

C8H10N4O2 · 20/08/2018 09:42

I'm with Bert, PERF and others saying this is crap behaviour and it isn't funny.

He is an adult. He should behave like one. You should not feel "grateful" or excuse shitty behaviour because he has some good aspects.

He has greedily helped himself to all of a shared item, knowing you are short on money and is then telling you its for your own good. Bollocks to that.

C8H10N4O2 · 20/08/2018 09:45

He is better now but i do make sure everyone else has had a look in first

But isn't it appalling that you have to manage an adult's greed like this? Would any of us put up with greedy children who gobbled everything in sight with no consideration for others?

Antigon · 20/08/2018 09:45

Cook for yourself, eat it all, and when he asks you where's his portion, tell him he didn't ask you to save him any.

Repeat every night.

TatianaLarina · 20/08/2018 09:49

What a depressing little man.

Clutterbugsmum · 20/08/2018 09:49

Well I would stop washing, cooking and cleaning for him, as he didn't ask you too.

He know he was a greedy and is trying to deflect rather then just saying sorry.

sandgrown · 20/08/2018 09:52

My daughter made a lovely breakfast of fruit, pastries and jams on Christmas Day. She bought bacon for DP as he is a full English breakfast fan. At last minute he decided not to come ( he suffers with depression) We were all tucking into breakfast when he turned up ,sat down with hardly a word to anybody , and piled all but one slice of bacon onto his plate.
I was fuming but it was not the time to have a row. His excuse was that he didn't like the other stuff!

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