AIBU to have my children (8&5) do 30-40 mins of writing and maths every day of the holidays?

[Dilemmacentral]

Every morning, after breakfast, I ask that the children do 20 mins writing in a holiday journal and then younger does 15 mins of basic maths (reception - year 1 maths), and older one does 20 mins of mental maths, mainly tables? Every day, even when we went on holiday.

It doesn’t feel like a big deal. They don’t complain. They are so used to it (I do it every holiday) and in fact both seem to really enjoy the journal writing in particular.

But! A dear friend, in a genuinely unjudgemental manner, asked whether I felt guilty and said she thought that holiday were good for a complete break other than set school work. We do have set school work but very little (book reviews for eldest).

I don’t feel guilty at all and I told her as such, and we just moved on to another topic. I plan to continue doing. However I’m wondering about others thoughts out of nosiness and whether others do this too.

I feel the heat hols are so long. And it’s only max of 40 mins so that they hit ground running in September. Am I alone though?!

We’re doing similar but not every day, we just do it on days when we’re at home and not dashing out of the house. DS (6) is doing a page of an Usbourne story writing book and some times tables practice.

This will adjust as grow older but even at 12/13, I would be saying “ok, let’s come back to it in 6 hours, but we agree done before bed”

Good luck with that

I think what's a bit sad here is the emphasis on a particular set of academic skills being the only useful learning to be done in the holidays, and the adult-directed aspect of it (although it's good that the OP doesn't correct the journal writing).

A lot depends on your kids of course. I probably should have spent more time encouraging DS to write in the holidays when he was younger, but he disliked writing, and it would have been a miserable battle that I don't have time to fight. In contrast you can't stop DD writing so enforced journal writing would have been a nonsense.

What a kind and loving parent the OP is, wanting to ensure their children do their best, and not overloading by spending under an hour each day.

Nice idea but was torture when we tried with our two so gave up. Least Dd writes a bit herself. I dread to think of the job the teachers have in Sept as dont know anyone who does this. It sounds like alot but if kids & you enjoy it then carry on I suppose.

I think it sounds very structured and not for me or my kids but if yours like it then go for it. I like to use the holidays for things there isn't so much time to do during term time when they go from school to their various activities in the evenings and weekends (I'm loving not having to take them to brownies or plan Saturdays around DD1's football fixtures)!

I think its great , 20 mins a day is nothing and writing a journal is so good. They'll appreciate it also when they're older : reading back the stories , remembering what they did ...
My son is 16 and i struggled to insist on postcards written to grandparents etc.every time we were away on holiday, because i thought it was worth it .
He has always readloads on the beach and is very sporty too and swims and snorkels as well.
I am always amazed he seems to be the only teenager who reads books, novels on the beach or by the pool every summer holiday.
Don't get me wrong he's also doing loads of snapchat too !
Ignore the naysayers, if they resent it when they are older, they'll certainly let you know about it and you can cross that bridge...

I come from a country where all kids get given holiday work books to be marked by next years teacher so I don't see the problem with it.

(Though I wouldn't do it on 'holiday holiday' myself, but half an hour on a normal day yes)

I was in the library Friday and there was a constant trickle of proud kids telling the volunteer about their summer reading challenge books.

As a teacher can I just slightly hijack this thread and ask how you feel about holiday homework/ projects set by school- yay or nay?

Nay, unless they are completely optional extra projects. Not worksheets. I like holiday reading lists (with books suitable for both struggling or reluctant readers and children reading beyond their age), and lists like '50 things to do before you’re 11 3/4' as suggested holiday activities.

I think it’s a good idea.

I always did this as a child and as a minor act of bribery my mum always made sure we did something interesting enough that day to write about.
Seeing a film, I’d write a mini review.
Baking cakes, I’d put the recipe in and talk about who ate the most etc.

It was understood that if we wanted the fun to continue we’d have to write it up.

My parents are moving at the moment so have just given me a suitcase full of my holiday journals to go through and I’m so glad they kept them

I think that's quite a lot but if your children are happy to do it then YANBU.
However mine didn't like writing, written homework was always done but it was hard work. So in the holidays we would have occasional 'fun' verbal times tables and number bond tests, in the car or eating tea. But not every day by any means, I wanted to retain their enjoyment of math. And even as mine got older and were fluent readers I always read to them every day to encourage a love of books. This was more important to me than the math work.

'Every day after breakfast' sounds rather regimented, joyless and controlling. I suspect you're the kind of sensible family who are up and dressed by 8am though
I have no issue with what you're doing, but every day is a bit much.

It was understood that if we wanted the fun to continue we’d have to write it up.

Didn't you ever just want to rebel against this?!

Dieu, not at all. Why would we want to ruin it for everyone?

There are so many ways to make Maths and English fun. It's also extremely easy to incorporate Maths and English into your everyday life. And you can do all that without the child noticing, and without having to sit down and do 'book work'.

Most parents will be doing this already.
For example - reading a recipe book, making a list of things needed, shopping, money, measuring, temperatures, timing, writing notes for next time and working out the cost of a cake.

By involving their children in APPLYING maths and English to everday life, they are giving their children a real gift.

The daily dose of desk-bound book-bound learning and practising is a very narrow view of what it takes to 'get ahead', I feel.

This isn't the point of the thread but the journal writing is such a good idea I may start doing this with my dd, 8 because I think she wold love it

Dieu, not at all. Why would we want to ruin it for everyone?

I was a very keen reader and writer as a child. However the sense of duty and obligation at having to subsequently provide a written account of fun activities, would have taken the pleasure out of it for me. Fun for the sake of it is also very worthwhile!

Sorry, I haven't RTFT. But it's been a constant battle to get my DS, now 15, to really put his back into his school work, rather than just doing the minimum. Now, that may be his personality, but it equally may be because we didn't make him do anything as a nipper and the primary school didn't really set hw so he went to secondary school in the habit of coming home and doing nothing, and now, even when he's got his GCSEs looming, still at his core resents having to study in what he sees as his free time.

In short, I would do it your way if I did it again and see if that worked any better.

theotherpamayres I’m sure all the people doing a little bit of ‘book work’ with their kids are also seamlessly incorporating learning into the every day! It’s not either/or. My kids have been on day trips to historic places where we’ve talked about how people used to live, they’ve baked (reading and measuring using the recipe), we’ve talked for hundreds of hours about what we’ve seen and done.

My point is, structured learning is an ever increasing part of kids lives. My two have to get through so much already in KS1, and do not find it all easy. Learning it the way they are taught at school increases confidence.

All this ‘don’t let children know they are learning’ seems like it’ll be counter productive when they have to use their sacred home time to do homework and revision.

It reminds me of the kids I know whose parents always hid vegetables in their food (lest they see and identify the offending item). Mine just kept being presented vegetables on the plate, and now happily eat them. The hidden veg crew still make a massive song and dance about eating them.

If you make you kids think something is a chore to be dressed up or to be avoided, that’s what it becomes...

dolores cross post, but I think you illustrate my point. I remember being exactly like that! We had to do nothing in the holidays during primary and I remember feeling it was a huge affront to have to study at home in secondary and gave my mother a hard time. I’m not repeating that bit if history with mine!

Coming from a kid who used to write entire transcripts of films out during the holidays for fun, if your DC are happy with it, then fair enough. It's nobody's business.

"20 mins of mental maths, mainly tables" is an intensely boring way of doing maths. The best thing you could do for maths is to teach that maths is both fun and of use in every day life. At the very least start working round the tables, highlighting in the patterns in them, show why, in the 9 times table, you get to the next number by adding one to the first digit and taking one from the second, in the next year or so you could show why, if a number is divisible by 3, its digits add up to a multiple of 3. It's all about being comfortable about maths and recognising the inherent internal consistency, rather than it being a set of arbitrary rules to be learned by rote and have almost nothing to do with the "real world".

NewBoot

I agree with a pp who said it sounds a bit regimented and joyless tbh.

I do plenty of academic/learning things with mine in the holidays but it’s all ad hoc, very random and I try to take inspiration from things we’ve done and join in...and not every day.

Eg...we went on a family day out to a local farm park type place and they had a small pop up gallery in the foyer of works by local artists and poets. We spent a few minutes looking at them and the dc zoned in on a funny Haiku. That night we researched Haiku’s and they spent half an hour making up their own (rude!) ones.

Sounds fine to me and not over the top. I do this as well, pretty much.

I do think it's important to be flexible--"big days out" demanding an early start etc. etc. should be treated as a day-off from formal study, IMO, otherwise you can end up missing out on experiences and causing resentment.

We used to do this, with the Bond books from WH Smith's.

20 mins in the morning, before heading out to do whatever we had planned as fun for the day.

Also, reading every night.

Only cringeworthy moment was on the car ferry home from Cherbourg, when we realised ours were the only children being set a Bond paper to do, rather than being allowed to play on our iPads. 🤭