AIBU to have my children (8&5) do 30-40 mins of writing and maths every day of the holidays?

[Dilemmacentral]

Every morning, after breakfast, I ask that the children do 20 mins writing in a holiday journal and then younger does 15 mins of basic maths (reception - year 1 maths), and older one does 20 mins of mental maths, mainly tables? Every day, even when we went on holiday.

It doesn’t feel like a big deal. They don’t complain. They are so used to it (I do it every holiday) and in fact both seem to really enjoy the journal writing in particular.

But! A dear friend, in a genuinely unjudgemental manner, asked whether I felt guilty and said she thought that holiday were good for a complete break other than set school work. We do have set school work but very little (book reviews for eldest).

I don’t feel guilty at all and I told her as such, and we just moved on to another topic. I plan to continue doing. However I’m wondering about others thoughts out of nosiness and whether others do this too.

I feel the heat hols are so long. And it’s only max of 40 mins so that they hit ground running in September. Am I alone though?!

I think it’s a good idea. Along with having educational visits, talking about things and discovering and learning together.

iPads are not the epitome of bad parenting and there are plenty of educational games available on them.
In moderation they are fine. I let mine use them on long journeys.
I also wouldn't think anything at all of kids writing in books or doing bond papers (must be bad as I have no idea what they are) - it wouldn't occur to me to make any comparison in that situation. Why did you find it cringeworthy?

I personally don't see it as an issue, especially if they're not complaining.

My son is due to start reception this year, and I'm trying to encourage his writing during the holidays and day time reading with me.

They have plenty of time to do other things in the day, really doesn't seem like a hardship to me.

Enjoying writing is a great trait to have. I like that you dont correct any mistakes. I'm not too sure about the maths things though, it sounds boring and could turn them off maths.
Try giving them different maths activities to have a go at.
Eg give them 4 numbers and ask them which one could be the odd one out, and why. They should be encouraged to come up with lots of answers. So if the numbers were 7, 12, 20, 9 possible answers might be
7 is a prime number, 20 because it ends in zero, 9 because I'll be nine next birthday. There should be no right or wrong answers. These are activities encouraged in Singapore Maths and are all about getting children to understand numbers rather than just learning facts by rote.

Obviously, giving your children lots of experiences they might not be exposed to in school is the best learning. Last week, I saw a mum out with her two young girls on the nature trail through the woods. It was pouring with rain. She was getting them to ride their bikes through puddles, shake trees to watch the rain drops fall, and try to identify where the bird sounds were coming from. It was absolutely delightful to see!

That's good advice about thinking and exploring numbers rather than just doing sums.

Its funny how basic things can be overlooked. A primary teacher friend said she thinks some of her kids now are lacking practical experience of volume for example that would come from just playing regularly with water. I remember early primary age in the summer being put outside with the biggest bowl and unbreakable containers. It would be seen as a bit too tame today and my mum certainly wasn't teaching me anything: just getting on with her own work.

There's a lot of shape and symmetry to be explored in craft if kids like it.

A lot of these activities are not either or.
DS does his formal work nearly every day, he missed a few days when we were traveling or had early starts for things like theme parks.
Doing 20-40 minutes formal work doesn’t mean missing out on all the other normal holiday activities or even on chilling with his iPad or switch.

I think It's a great idea op, I had thought of doing something like that this summer but with work life and dc away alot I didn't implement it. I don't see the harm especially as the dc don't mind, it will benefit them greatly when they go back.

It is quite tiger mum.

Everyone parents differently.

Most dcs won’t be doing this over the holidays.

It has its pros and cons. You know your own dcs best.

YANBU I agree with the fact that we shouldn’t rely solely on schools and teachers to teach our children. It begins at home and 30 minutes out of their day does no harm. They should be continually learning without being at school. I do this at home for a small portion of the day and it’s great to see your child’s progress first hand.

I think it's great if they don't mind. I have a five year old and haven't done much at all with him other than a bit of reading every day. I wish I'd done a bit more writing with him tbh.

It was understood that if we wanted the fun to continue we’d have to write it up

Then I would have refused the fun as not being worth the time. I hated writing, still do.

My first memory on writing was having to write thank you notes. This I stopped around age 7 because I announced that I didn’t want any presents. The whole joy of receiving a present was tarnished by the fact I would have to write thank you notes which seemed to take me days to write.

To this day I hate getting presents. I make the right noises but can find no joy in receiving gifts

I read books for fun but again stopped when I was told I would have to write a book review after reading a book.

Thank god no one made me write a film review.

If you aren’t giving your dc a choice then do be prepared to have them hate what you are trying to teach them later on.

And good luck at trying to get a teen to do any of this when they tower above you and are much stronger than you

Thank god no one made me write a film review

That is homework set by the school.

Genuine question - how did you do at school and are you in a job that you’re happy with?

Oh goodness I hated writing thank you letters too. Although it hasn’t impacted on my enjoyment of receiving gifts - that strikes me as somewhat extreme reaction!

My love the journal writing. And the maths.... they do it without complaint but I have no doubt they’d prefer to be playing. 15mins though? No problem.

And good luck at trying to get a teen to do any of this when they tower above you and are much stronger than you

WTF?? Are you suggesting they may attack me??

I’ll adjust as they grow. For now they are 8 and 5 and, generally speaking, what Mummy says - gos. And that’s a relief as a single mum.

Oliversmummy I felt exactly the same about thank you notes! It made me dread getting presents. I was just told I was ungrateful and ranted at when I said that though. I think my mother was actually incredibly anxious about how she was perceived and that this was showcased in the thank you notes she made us write - they had to meet multiple criteria for content and accuracy, and my mother got very upset and stressed over their writing and passed that straight on. My spelling was terrible until mid secondary school so it was torture.

I enjoyed writing stories and essays though - not for my mum but at or for school. My teachers were less critical even though in the 80s marks were 50% spag and 50% content at my school!

Thank you letter writing put me off presents and formal etiquette rather than writing!

YANBU - my DC of a similar age do ten minutes after breakfast every morning in the hols of either Maths or handwriting plus they read to me every bedtime out loud, before i do their bedtime stories. We love Carol Vorderman's '10 minutes a day' maths books - you get a little timer which bleeps after 10 mins!

I loved reading and writing and did so for enjoyment from an early age. I did it as often as I pleased without my parents needing to introduce a formal structure. That would have ruined it for me. I wrote when I felt moved to write by what I saw and did.

Ds is 7 and does not enjoy reading and writing but has more general knowledge than most of his peers. We encourage that instead with our family activities. If we introduced a more formal structure he wouldn't take it in and it would sap all his enjoyment. He gets plenty of reading practice out and about as we encourage him to read signs and leaflets on his own. He recently learned a load of French words on holiday, purely by being surrounded by it and hearing us speaking it. He learns better when he doesn't realise he's learning. He's a bright boy.

If it works for you op, that's great. It may or it may not continue as they get older and question your authority more. Structure isn't bad, it just doesn't suit everyone's learning style. Many are more experiential learners too and won't tolerate the theory well. That's why great teachers that can adapt to different needs are worth their weight in gold.

No, you are absolutely right and doing it for your children.
Daughter used to count backwards from 100 at age 3 when we took her to the lady who cared for her during our work. No regrets whatsoever.
She is now a high level Cambridge grad who has nothing but happy childhood memories.
One can obsess too much.

20 minutes is a long time, especially for a five year old I think.

I'm in the complete break category but still believe we encourage a love of learning..reading things on day trips, filling out quizzes etc lots of talking and answering their questions when we are out and about.

My 6 yo DD carries a diary with her most of the time and writes in it because she wants to, nothing forced. However I can see my son is not likely to do this, not his thing so a more structured way might work better for him as he starts reception in Sept.

If you're happy and kids don't mind then great.

Dilemmacentral I left school with no qualifications. I hated school but that is a whole other thread on itself. I have done a list of jobs from bar maid to office work (hated that with a vengeance) to up until a couple of years ago when dp got sick I was a property developer. I might not have any qualifications but I can turn my hand to most things. I picked up French on an extended trip there in my early 20s, I can plumb in a bathroom, paint, decorate and lay flooring and tiles. ATM I am helping friend who has some problems with dyslexia through her divorce doing all her forms and paperwork. So much so that someone said I should have been a solicitor. (I took various exams in English, including functional English and failed miserably).

The thing is the thought of staying in one type of work for the whole of my life filled me with dread.

If I am honest I probably have a mix of issues my DC are diagnosed with. ADHD and Dyslexia to name but a few.

If the children enjoy I, or at least not mind, there is no reason not to carry on with something that works for you. As long as you accept that other families may have different ways that work equally well for them. Looking back on my own childhood, I realise that one reason I did well in these subjects at school was because my life, particularly in the summer, was so full of opportunities of reinforcing these skills in practical ways: adapting recipes for the family, calculating how much paint we'd need for various bits of DIY or yarn for sewing and knitting, writing shopping lists and letters to ageing relatives, telling stories to my younger brothers, going errands and checking the change.

But whatever works for you.

sorry, missed the question about my job: university lecturer

love it, wouldn't do anything else for the world

tbf I was given opportunities to learn foreign languages and do music when I asked for it, so can't complain about lack of interest from my parents

just that they probably put more emphasis on practical skills when I was little

Yabu you are a pushy parent. And you know where that leads.

All those saying it is only 20 minutes. Does that start from when you have sat them down or is it when they have done 20 minutes of actual work.

I would say a lot of children do an hour or 2 of whinging before they will do what you want.

With ds you would have had to catch him first

YANBU! It would be great if more parents did this.