AIBU to have my children (8&5) do 30-40 mins of writing and maths every day of the holidays?

[Dilemmacentral]

Every morning, after breakfast, I ask that the children do 20 mins writing in a holiday journal and then younger does 15 mins of basic maths (reception - year 1 maths), and older one does 20 mins of mental maths, mainly tables? Every day, even when we went on holiday.

It doesn’t feel like a big deal. They don’t complain. They are so used to it (I do it every holiday) and in fact both seem to really enjoy the journal writing in particular.

But! A dear friend, in a genuinely unjudgemental manner, asked whether I felt guilty and said she thought that holiday were good for a complete break other than set school work. We do have set school work but very little (book reviews for eldest).

I don’t feel guilty at all and I told her as such, and we just moved on to another topic. I plan to continue doing. However I’m wondering about others thoughts out of nosiness and whether others do this too.

I feel the heat hols are so long. And it’s only max of 40 mins so that they hit ground running in September. Am I alone though?!

If they're in the habit of doing it, and they're happy to do it, then what's the problem?

We tried doing Kumon maths with our DC, which is only 10 minutes a day - but it is every day, including holidays away and Christmas Day! They were both older though, and bitterly resented it. I don't think I've ever been forgiven

Ignore your friend.

Yes! YABU.

Next!!

As a teacher, I think it is a real shame more parents don't think like you! Perhaps then I wouldn't have to spend most of the September term repeating what we had learned in July. Keep up the good work!!

Oh I’m not pissed with the friend in the slightest! Not questioning myself.

Genuinely wondering what others do and perceive

Ah yes kumon. Another friend does this. She says it kills her more than them

If it's presented as small enjoyable educational tasks then it's up to you but probably quite fun. (I remember having stacks of fun educational books and magazines in the holidays, story writing more accurately half started stories and then I got bored )

If it's enforced school time then I would say it's probably a bit much.

Personally, it comes across like extra school to get a head start for September. There are loads of other educational things to so without following a repeateded timetable in the holidays.

Bit much in my opinion. Let enjoy their down time! They will probably resent you for this in the long run.

Only thing I do with my son during the holidays is a bit of reading at bedtime. I read a book to him and he reads a few pages of his early reader books to me.

They don’t see it as form of torture, which I suppose is what I’m really keen on building. An enjoyment in learning rather than it being an awful thing to endure

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all, but I do think you’re a better person than I at enforcing things like this. For us, the road to hell is paved with good intentions...

With the best will in the world, they won't be struggling to do their 3 x tables at age 20 if they don't do 40 minutes a day aged 5.

My 5yo does a bit of reading each night at bedtime and writing once a week in the hols (if I remember) she's worked hard at school all year it's time to relax

The journal is completely theirs. I don’t check it. I don’t point out mistakes. I just ask that they write anything they want for 20 mins. They often don’t actually stop when i say they can if they want to

YANBU. Children can only learn so much at school and it keeps them 'geared up' for learning when they go back in September. I think I'll do something similar when mine are at that age!

I think it's a good idea. Do something constructive and educational before having a fun and chilled rest of day.

Hmm this is an idea to do with my dd.

She's about to start year 1 and absoutely adores school. Keeps going on about how she misses it.

She currently does reading of stories to keep up and because she enjoys it but writing would help her too.

Thanks OP

Yanbu.

It's really sad how much children can regress over the Summer holiday, especially those that struggle with reading and have not been encouraged to read even a single word for six weeks. Reading and writing shouldn't be seen as work that we need to take a break from, they are just a normal part of life.

I take my hat off to you.

DH (the strict parent!) has DD doing SATS revision for 30 mins a day al holiday. She enjoys it though.

Can’t even get our teenager to pick up a book, though, so swings and roundabouts...

My teacher friend only yesterday told me children need a rest - when I told her my DS was doing 15 mins of various learning eg writing reading or times tables. She really missed the point. If DS did not practise writing numbers and letters he would completely forget. It’s a weak area and I don’t want it to hold him back in year 2. You know your children and half an hour is really no time at all is it.

Soubriquet

Sounds like mine. She loves the journal. It’s difficult to read, i can’t lie! But then she enjoys.

They both love that I don’t correct. It’s completely up to them what they write.

I used to love writing my holiday diaries! They were the dullest thing (found them yard later) but I did it religiously.

If you’re not getting lots of groaning from the DC then I’d say totally fine!

Yanbu. My mum did the same when I was growing up. I was very good at spellings and my times tables because of it! As you say, it's a small portion of the day and we did loads of fun stuff too so didn't feel hard done by at all.

OP stop worrying. I did and know other children who did/do "homework" during the holidays. In fact I've been helping two very recently. In these girls cases they each have a parent who is doing a degree, and one child was shocked when I pointed out her "homework" was just as important. If her parents hadn't got her to read outside school I doubt due to her sn she would be able to read.

It sounds unnecessary and bonkers to me, but as long as they don't mind then I guess it's totally up to you. If they start resenting it you'd do well to let it slide before you turn them off writing for fun and rebel throughout the year.

You can slip mental arithmetic into every day tasks every day without making your children do "school work" so blatantly. Cooking and food shopping are the most obvious sources of meaningful everyday mental arithmetic, but days out with entrance prices and ice-cream to buy, meal deals etc, would a family ticket be cheaper than 1 adult and 2 children etc are also full of meaningful practical maths opportunities...

One of my kids writes a journal and blogs but the others don't. The one who writes a lot does have the best literacy skills, but it's a bit chicken and egg, as of course she writes because she enjoys it...

I can see why you do push them and they probably benefit somewhat (any teacher will tell you how much kids slip in the holidays) but it can backfire and kill the natural love of learning too, and many kids will rebel if put under more pressure than their peers and not given a break from academic work.

Yanbu.

I wish I'd done this.

I think doing some is fine, probably good, but I also think they should have a break. When you're on holiday that's a good time. I'd give them at least one week off, everyone needs a break.

Interesting, DH wants DS to do this and I was worried it was a bit much but sounds like there's a consensus that it's not too draconian at all.

They are doing an activity and they enjoy it, that's lovely.

Whether it not you are being unreasonable really depends on what you would do if they didn't want to do it one day?