AIBU to have my children (8&5) do 30-40 mins of writing and maths every day of the holidays?

[Dilemmacentral]

Every morning, after breakfast, I ask that the children do 20 mins writing in a holiday journal and then younger does 15 mins of basic maths (reception - year 1 maths), and older one does 20 mins of mental maths, mainly tables? Every day, even when we went on holiday.

It doesn’t feel like a big deal. They don’t complain. They are so used to it (I do it every holiday) and in fact both seem to really enjoy the journal writing in particular.

But! A dear friend, in a genuinely unjudgemental manner, asked whether I felt guilty and said she thought that holiday were good for a complete break other than set school work. We do have set school work but very little (book reviews for eldest).

I don’t feel guilty at all and I told her as such, and we just moved on to another topic. I plan to continue doing. However I’m wondering about others thoughts out of nosiness and whether others do this too.

I feel the heat hols are so long. And it’s only max of 40 mins so that they hit ground running in September. Am I alone though?!

YANBU - i have a 4 year old and she does about half an hour spread throughout the day - sometimes she asks for a little more. Nothing crazy - just little bits of writing or colouring. I dont know many school going children that dont do some homework/work during the school holidays.

I havent read the thread. My DC (year 8) has severe spld. His specialist school dont set holiday homework (lots of guff provided - frankly I believe they cant be arsed). Now because I caused a massive fuss about basic (very basic) maths and english this year DC has Maths homework over the holidays. A bunch of boring worksheets. So I have found several "fun" maths books and we have been reading ONE (just ONE) reading book. It is designed for years 2-3. We have managed 3 chapters. I am very cross with specialist school - for gods sake everyone knows about summer dip. Surely that must impact children with spld more than others. Their holiday is 8 weeks. So yes whilst DC with me - we have done reading and maths every day. It isnt enough, it wont help a lot. But better than nothing.

If my child was super bright, coping, etc etc perhaps I wouldnt bother so much.

Other than reading, I've done nothing with mine. They are 5 (going into year 1) and 3 (going from 2.5 days a week to full time)

They were just so tired and burnt out and bored to the back teeth of it all.

I won't rule out summer holiday learning as they get older though. It just wasn't going to benefit them this year.

Isn't colouring playing?

I have a 5 year old and a typical holiday day is spent: doing LEGO/play doh/drawing and colouring/sticking. She'll write sometimes to name things in pictures and will read a bit and help me do a shopping list.

I never considered any of this school work although to be fair now I write it down, it is what she does at school most days..maybe we've been doing homework without me releasing.

If a child forgets what they’ve learnt during the summer holidays then they haven’t truly learnt it at all - they’re just learning by rote and you should have a chat with their teacher because their methods aren’t working for your child.

However, I don’t see a problem with doing work over the summer if they enjoy it and have a balance of activities and down time. I think I’d probably try and vary it a little though as there is a whole world of learning opportunities away from a table and a book.

Learning is non linear.

Children (and adult learners) do not just progress ever onwards at a regular pace even in ideal circumstances.

Times of rest and perceived stagnation and regression are sometimes periods of mental recovery and consolidation.

Not RTFT (but will). I would not say it’s terrible but from an educational perspective I would say daily reading is so beneficial. I like the idea of a journal, and so I think in your position I would offer a choice of journal/ maths or I would alternate but I would supplement with everybody sits and reads at some point during the day. Win-win: their literacy improves and you get some downtime with a book.

I’m just jealous, I can persuade my just-turned 6 year old to read or write virtually anything.

Okay read it now, seems like there are a lot of like minded parents out there! As a teacher can I just slightly hijack this thread and ask how you feel about holiday homework/ projects set by school- yay or nay?

I think it depends on what you'd do if they said they didn't want to do it.

I just can't fathom having a child who would willingly do that!

Personally I think they do so much reading writing and maths at school that I'd rather spend the holiday time on learning and experiences in other areas led by them. But then I work, maybe if I was SAHM I'd find time for both

I'm making my 7yr old do "homework" daily - written sentences, math problems, reading - he has a homework book with stickers. I did this last summer too when his grade 1 teacher announced end of May that he was massively behind. Once finally clued into the problem I mobilized and have been helping him catch up since. Summer is a great time free from scheduled activities to do extra 1:1 work with him and it's paid off. I try to give out sweets at the end to reward the effort.

Is it popular and fun? No. Is it helping him stay afloat? Definitely. I suppose if he was a natural pulling straight A's I might not see the need.

Don't feel bad OP - IMO if it's what they are used to they will just roll with it.

My children do this too.

I read to DS daily, Dyslexia, he has maths work books and a computer program to complete.

It really helps as kids can fall upto 3 months behind I've the summer holidays

OK i admit to having not rtft but I read the comment from the teacher who thinks this is a good idea - wtf?

This is mean and uneccessary and just plain wrong for the 5 year old. The reason there is a holiday is because the kids need a fucking holiday. Give them a break!

And just to add I am a Secondary Maths teacher and I have read studies on this sort of thing. You will probably add nothing to your childen's lives and you are wasting hours they could be out makng friends, playing, exploring or reading or whatever else,

It is NOT FINE!!!!!

Another teacher here and I would say that YABU doing the work everyday without a break, though actually doing some work is not at all unreasonable. I would have given them the family holiday off and only worked formally 2 or 3 times a week. Reading, chatting and generally using maths etc on a normal, everyday basis is fine, though. That said, my son was far too lazy to do this kind of thing in the school hols and I never made him do it either. He had plenty of school and college work, did well and is now at Uni.

If you want to then why not?

Not something we ever did. DD still has the grades to get into any college in the US /shrugs/

I think a break is important the time to rest is not worry about things. It can also easily be done in a much less formal way as part of day to day life over the holiday rather than being so forced.

I have a ds who doesn’t do homework so I am not going to force that upon him over the holidays. However he will from choice spend hours researching his topics of interest and writing about them!

Tbh I have better things to do with the holidays than make my DD do formal "school work".

That doesn't mean that she spends the holidays doing no work at all, the English and Maths just done through fun and practical things - working out ingredients to bake cookies or cakes, budgeting the weekly shop and writing/reading the shopping list, learning the words to her favourite songs and singing along while making up crazy dance routines with her friends, creating a scavenger hunt for things to find/look out for during an outing etc.

She does read every day but that is out of choice and if she doesn't read on any particular day then we don't force her as we'd rather she reads 3 times a week and enjoys it than 7 times a week and sees it as a chore.

As her dad and I have 50/50 custody and during the holidays we tend to have her in longer blocks she chooses to create a holiday scrapbook - she sticks in leaflets/postcards/tickets from things she does with each of us and writes a few sentences/draws pictures about what sbe did - so that when she comes back to me after being with her dad for 3 weeks she can show/tell me about things I've only previously heard about when facetiming/calling.

The only thing we "enforce" is that we use Spanish every day. That is because DD was born in Spain and Spanish is her primary language. Now we are back in the UK I don't want her to lose her Spanish so for at least part of the day we will communicate in Spanish, whether it's DD watching tv in Spanish, reading/writing in Spanish or talking in Spanish.

It depends. Do they have a choice and what would your reaction be if one or both said no

A lot of the people on here who say they wouldn’t do this with their children then go on to say that their children will voluntarily read / write / colour etc. What would you do if your child wouldn’t voluntarily do those things and you know that they would struggle going back to school and their confidence would take another huge blow, and they would spend the first few months of the year feeling like they aren’t as good as their peers?

I’m a teacher and I think it’s important for children to rest and enjoy their holidays. 40 minutes of work a day won’t prevent that.
My DS 8 reads for pleasure and writes when he wants to as part of his play. He doesn’t need to work on those things. His maths however! He struggles- he’s doing half an hour a day.
I’m amazed we’ve managed it as there’s been conflict over it. He doesn’t want to do it, unlike your children, because it’s tricky for him. He’s not comfortable with finding things difficult!
Thing is, he has really improved. He now understands so many key concepts that he just wasn’t getting. So sometimes I feel a bit mean but he can see the benefits too now. He knows that if I don’t do this with him, he’ll carry on feeling anxious in maths lessons. When he doesn’t understand them, he switches off!
He works for half an hour and then spends 10 hours doing whatever he wants. He’s enjoying his summer. We’re on holiday this week, so no formal sit down time, but I’m making him wear his watch and I keep asking him what the time is. Bwa ha ha.
So YANBU.

He works for half an hour and then spends 10 hours doing whatever he wants

Exactly. Same here. After breakfast they get out their journals. Then bit of number work. Less than 40 mins later... the day is entirely theirs.

Park, garden, beach, TV, craft.... whatever.

Out of interest what will you do the day one of them refuses?

I think it’s a good idea tho would maybe do 20mins every day

Yes children need a break from school but 6/8w is a long time to totally stop reading writing spelling maths

To do something educational after breakfast means have rest of day to play and relax

This might be OK now, as they are obviously still pretty biddable, but when they're older this will not go down well, and with good reason.

I also think it's pretty unnecessary, tbh, unless your child is really struggling, and am a bit concerned when I hear parents talking about year 1 and 2 children 'hitting the ground running' or being 'held back'. This pernicious idea of learning-as-a-race which has arisen particularly wrt primary children over the past 10 or 15 years adds pressure to the children that they can do without (in however ostensibly relaxed a way these tasks are approached) and is quite joy-sucking - and learning is a joy.

Mine are older, but we haven't done a drop of formal learning these holidays (OK, we're not at the exam stage yet - but by then I would expect their revision to be substantially self-directed). They've been on a three-day photography course run by a brilliant gallery, we've been on holiday using language skills, they've been on a five-day church camp learning and performing a musical, we've moved bedrooms around (so they get one each) and they've sorted those and decided how they want things. They've played a lot of football in the garden and we've taken much younger dd for her first experience of our favourite museum. It's been plenty. And they've had lots of screen time/audiobook listening time/downtime too. I think they'll go back to school refreshed.