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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if anyone else will admit to being a soap dodger?

703 replies

blueberrycoconut · 18/08/2018 13:20

I often can’t be arsed. Dh has to prompt me. Anyone else?

OP posts:
StorminaTCut · 18/08/2018 15:43

YABgrossU

I shower & hairwash x 2 daily.

Morning & night, sometimes inbetween if we have been on the beach.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/08/2018 15:44

I've decided I'm not going to bother showering today. Yesterday's shower was late afternoon anyway.

ElspethFlashman · 18/08/2018 15:46

ilove just curious, why don't you just wash your hair bent over the bath, 1980s style?

I still do it on the very odd occasion.

Pettyspaghetti · 18/08/2018 15:46

On flip side to this, my “D”H has to be told REPEATEDLY to get in the shower. If left to his own devices he would shower once a week. I tested him once and didn’t ask him to have a shower- if took him 11 days to hop in and that was only because he wanted sex. That along with only brushing his teeth once a week can really make you feel bitter towards your partner. It’s diagusting, disrespectful, and makes you feel like your partner is actually another child that you have to care for. Please try and be considerate OP, it’s really hard living with it on the other side.

Crunchymum · 18/08/2018 15:51

In cooler weather I generally shower and wash hair every other day. I will have a flannel wash on the days I don't shower (and yes flannel goes straight in dirty washing bin)

Kids are bathed every other day, baby is daily though as she has eczema and the specialist nurse recommended daily baths in some potion. DP also has at least one shower a day [he is a tradesman]

I do however wash my hands all the time (tube fed baby and hand hygiene is very important)

I warmer weather we all bath / shower daily.

None of us smell or look grimey?

Crunchymum · 18/08/2018 15:52

We all brush teeth twice a day here as well (and adults floss once a day)

ElspethFlashman · 18/08/2018 15:53

This thread is really making me want a shower........

Crunchymum · 18/08/2018 15:54

Storm washing your hair twice a day is just way OTT???

sexnotgender · 18/08/2018 15:56

Yuck!
I shower every single morning regardless of if I’m leaving the house or not and often have a bath in the evening too.

I used to live with a soap dodger, utterly vile.

ILoveMyDressingGown · 18/08/2018 15:56

@ElspethFlashman
ilove just curious, why don't you just wash your hair bent over the bath, 1980s style? I have pain in my lower back and hips and sciatica from when I was pregnant. It's been 6 years and it's better than it was but it never really went away. Bending over loe that would be awful!

user1490465531 · 18/08/2018 15:58

Haven't read whole thread but sounds like a wind up to me

StorminaTCut · 18/08/2018 16:03

Crunchymum I couldn't leave my hair.

I wake up & its been boiling all night, my hair is everywhere and looks absolutely awful, so I wash it under the shower, blow dry the front & leave the rest to air dry as it has to be put up for work.

I shove it in a ponytail. Then by the time I get in from work, Im sweating, boiling, grumpy, hungry, tired, so straight in the shower.

I wouldn't/couldn't sit indoors in my work clothes, due to the environment at work. So its bags down, shoes off, wash hands & straight in the shower & 'loungewear' on & let hair air dry.

Then food! lots of it

I presumed everyone did the same Grin

somewhereovertherainbutt · 18/08/2018 16:07

I know when my on/off depression is getting the upper hand when I go to bed without cleaning my teeth. For some reason, hand washing never gets affected, but showering does (only because I stay in bed all day and the following night). Recovery for me is signalled by a long bath/shower and clean bedclothes. Having said that, I went to a grim all girls boarding school in the 70s and we were allowed 2x 20 min baths a week and hair washing once a week. We used to put baby oil in our hair to make out we had a serious sebaceous issue as then we were allowed the heady heights of a twice weekly go with the Vosene!

thecatsthecats · 18/08/2018 16:15

It's dermatologically a bad idea to shower every day. It destroys protective layers on the skin surface.

I shower between 4-6 days a week, depending on exercise levels.

OldBean2 · 18/08/2018 16:19

When I read the title, I assumed it was about not using soap on your face as it dries out your skin but not washing, then euw! Why would you need to get to a state where your husband needs to tell you to wash?

And then to hear you fail to wash your hands after having a pee, well that is just not on. You may not mind but I bloody do, I don't want your germs and doubt many on here would. Grab your grown up pants, establish a routine and a bit of respect from us by sorting out a personal hygiene regime. It is not difficult.

I have never posted an LTB but in this case, I would not blame your partner.

Topsyshair · 18/08/2018 16:20

I think some of these replies are unnecessarily vicious.

Op you should, imo, wash your hands every time you go to the toilet just for hygiene sake. It doesn't take long and it could prevent spreading nasty germs.

As for bathing/showering, personally I do shower every day although if I'm off work I can sometimes be a bit lazy and have my shower later in the day or even before bed. Although I never feel 'right' until I've had my shower.

I'm probably quite filthy by mumsnet standards too in that I'll wear my clothes for 2-3 days sometimes (not underwear), if they look and smell clean.

I've always showered the kids every day, I know many people don't bother but I think it sets good habits.

BasilFaulty · 18/08/2018 16:23

I only shower 4 times a week too OP! We should start a club.

I shower & hairwash x 2 daily.

I mean that's insane.

Confusedbeetle · 18/08/2018 16:26

Hand washing is essential especially after toilet use and before cooking, after handling raw meat and so on. as is arm pit and personal etc washing. However there is evidence that daily showing using soap shampoo or liquid soap is actually bad for your skin. I expect plain water is better and there are those who do not use shampoo but I dont think I could cope with that. If your hair is smelly it is dirty! Before 1960 we didnt have showers, but we also didnt have central heating and synthetic clothes and were out doors more. Lifestyle changes. Now people rarely have a bath

Original poster
blueberrycoconut · 18/08/2018 16:26

I have waist length hair that takes forever to rinse and dry.

I’ll be curled up with DH and he’ll say something like ffs you look a bit ripe up top.

I wash my hair.

Done.

OP posts:
DoubleNegativePanda · 18/08/2018 16:26

My sister and I both suffer from depression. The main sign mine is getting bad is that my house is a tip. My sisters is that she stops bathing regularly. Not bathing for this reason doesn't make a person disgusting IMO, it means they need help and support.

My ex-husband however does not suffer from depression. He's just lazy as fuck and can't be bothered. His skin used to have a sheen to it some days and he smelled bad. His hair looked rank and I'd have to tell him ffs go bathe. I always knew he wanted sex when he bathed without prompting. His lack of personal hygiene was one of the factors in my decision to leave as after twelve years nothing was going to change.

Maddy70 · 18/08/2018 16:30

I couldn't live with anyone who didn't wash frequently!

QuestionableMouse · 18/08/2018 16:31

Meh I don't shower every day. Normally ever three or four days. I don't think most adults need to shower (multiple) times a day.

LaLaLanded · 18/08/2018 16:31

Interesting thread! I think it depends on the person and their needs, no?

Me: I sweat. Have done since puberty. So I shower 1-2 times per day and make sure I use good deodorant. Particularly in warm weather. I’m hyper sensitive to my own cleanliness and 2 showers per day don’t dry my skin out.

DS: is 7 and doesn’t seem to sweat at all. Four baths a week and never smells. If he goes to sports camp daily and does sweat, he has a bath every day. So, as needed.

DP: doesn’t sweat and doesn’t smell!! I’d like him tested. He can sit in 30-degree heat, in jeans, and not sweat. It’s amazing. In hot weather he’ll shower as he likes the feel of it but honestly doesn’t need to.

But everyone - everyone - washes their hands after the loo.

Tomatoesrock · 18/08/2018 16:32

I shower most days, I do not sweat much so if I shower Saturday I could lazy Sunday but would be in Monday morning. There are times when you do not have the head space or time for self care but to deliberately not wash for the sake of it is grim.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 18/08/2018 16:37

I don't get how anyone who has access to hot water, soap and bathing facilities doesn't keep themselves clean. If my DH had to tell me or I had to tell him we wouldn't be together.

For me personal cleanliness is important because I got picked on at school for being smelly, it was mostly down to my unwashed clothes, since from being told I smelled I used to scrub myself as well as I could daily in a sinkful of lukewarm water but my mum was oblivious. She dressed in the latest expensive fashions and had her hair done once a week but had very poor personal hygiene, never remembered to buy deodorant or shampoo so we'd go weeks without them. She claimed it was too expensive to put the washing machine on too often or the water heater on for more than one bath a week and even then we'd have to share bath water. Imagine washing your hair after 3 people had been in the same bath water? Ugh. Bedding and towels were washed once a flood too. I used to secretly wash my own school shirts by hand and put them on still damp the next day so then I smelled of damp. When I got older I'd save my pocket money to take a load of my own stuff to the launderette.

From the day I left home to go to uni, I started taking daily baths or showers, my clothes are worn once and then washed. When I go home to visit I stay in a hotel, can't stand my mother's house. It's like her, surface clean as in looks tidy and dust free and she puts the vacuum round, but the kitchen and bathroom are wiped down with a wet rag (probably the same one) dishes are rinsed rather than washed and the place stinks of cigarette smoke, rancid grease and BO.