From the man who blamed Mumsnet for the end of his marriage

[thousandpapercranes]

This literally doesn’t get any funnier, he’s listed every purchase that he’s made for me - actually for the family, over the last 8 years like he’s expecting me to reinburse him. Family car £xxxx. Holiday £xxx. Birthday present £xxx.

I wonder if someone can tell me what the going rate for using my uterus for 9 months is? Times that by two. Add to that breastfeeding for 14 months and 12 months respectively. And let’s add compensation for the flat lifeless little pancakes I’ve been left with and the irreversible damage to my nether regions. Day and night time nanny’s for when he wouldn’t wake with them. A housekeeper and cook.

Then we have years of supporting said man child who refused to partake in any aspect of child rearing or family management. But let’s not forget he paid for a cleaner for two hours each week. A cleaner that I sourced when I he’d refused to clean up after himself and sorting out his own ironing. I was thinking I’d send him an invoice of 100k for each year we were together. What do you think?

Please please give me hope that not all men are twats. Otherwise I may as well sew up my fanny for the rest of my days.

Tell him to grow the fuck up.

Most of them are like this mind. Men seem to have a thing about money.

Sad twat, let him make his list - not like it's just more evidence that you're making the right decision!

What has he listed it for? Court? Does he not realise how poorly that will go down?

Par for the course sadly.

Funnily enough, both times I divorced, the XH accused me of being gay. Because obviously if I didn't want their cock of gold I must be a lesbian, see?

Has he just sent this directly to you (funny enough) or via a solicitor (fucking hilarious)

I’m just gobsmacked. Each and every time he doesn’t fail to surprise me.

I had to buy a battered old 15 yr old banger on HP, whilst I was a sahm whilst he was earning 140k and driving a new BMW which he’d park at the station to go to work. Go figure.

I was reading for an explanation of how MN caused the end of your marriage. What part did the vipers allegedly play, because it sounds like he crashed and burned it all by himself by being an idiot?

This is part of his statement to court, it came via my solicitor. I’m flipping embarrassed on his behalf.

Ha! Boat I’m surprised no one has been called up as a witness.

He's taking that shit to court oh to be a fly on the wall!

The list of expenses is usually to ascertain what each of you is used to so if possible the same standard of living is kept up after divorce. My husband was even asked what he spent on his hair (I paid him on the divorce as I earned more).,

I don't agree with English divorce law on this. If someone doesn't have a high income but works full time and whilst married to a higher earning woman or man got to go on expensive holidays etc I don't see why English law thinks they continue to be entitled to the same standard of living after.

What a total wanker honestly he needs to grow up and a pair of balls .he hasn't gone running to his mummy too has he ?he'll get laughed out of court

Not all men are like that. My DH is incredibly generous. He earns all our money, spends very little on himself (I have to persuade him to buy new stuff) and doesn’t seem to begrudge anything I spend on myself and our adult DC. He is also very generous to relations and friends.

Whether that would remain the same if we ever split up I don’t know. I suspect not. Luckily a lot of our money and assets are in my name so I don’t have to worry unduly. Not that I think we will ever split up, but you never know in this life.

So @Xenia this could work in op's favour then - he's demonstrating the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed....or is that hoping for a bit much!

On the plus side he will be mortified when he simmers down and realises what a prize winning bellend he has been billing you for 'life' i hope you take the fucker to the cleaners financially purely on the back of his list

Xenia this isn’t a needs schedule. This is his position statement where he goes into great detail of what he spent on the family, he’s infering that I made zero financial contribution to the marriage and therefore deserve nothing.

He doesn’t for a moment consider that, if I’d not have been a sahm, then he’d have had to pay the going rate for people to do all these jobs. Yes my financial contribution was minimal but that’s the trade off unfortunately.

It's almost funny that he's taking that to court, does his solicitor not like him!

mummy His mother is VERY involved in the proceedings. I wish I could say more. Thankfully it’s not down to what mummy says and the needs of our dc is what’s important.

You come across as being marginally more reasonable than him.

Still want to know why Mumsnet is to blame for the marriage ending! That sounds like wisdom we all need to hear.

Well, you presumably gave up a salary/wages to do all of this. There is your financial contribution. Work out what that would be over the years you have been at home.

Your financial sacrifice is just as valid a contribution to the well-being of your family. Get that one in.

what solicitor would even agree to send that crap

or has he lied about you

Sounds like you’re well shot of him. (Or nearly shot of him... )

His only value system is counting pennies clearly.

Is he going to Judge Rinder's court? What an absolute fucking tool of a man.

When we were having relationship counselling DH once said that our marital problems were all down to MN, because if it weren't for MN I wouldn't have known I was unhappy.

He did manage to pull himself together and turn back into the more reasonable person that I first married, so we are still together, you'll be glad to hear.

I told DH recently that I “ran to
MN” on an issue or two, but that he wasn’t to see it as the enemy, more a good GF that I need rather than bashing my head against a wall trying to make him understand me!