From the man who blamed Mumsnet for the end of his marriage

[thousandpapercranes]

This literally doesn’t get any funnier, he’s listed every purchase that he’s made for me - actually for the family, over the last 8 years like he’s expecting me to reinburse him. Family car £xxxx. Holiday £xxx. Birthday present £xxx.

I wonder if someone can tell me what the going rate for using my uterus for 9 months is? Times that by two. Add to that breastfeeding for 14 months and 12 months respectively. And let’s add compensation for the flat lifeless little pancakes I’ve been left with and the irreversible damage to my nether regions. Day and night time nanny’s for when he wouldn’t wake with them. A housekeeper and cook.

Then we have years of supporting said man child who refused to partake in any aspect of child rearing or family management. But let’s not forget he paid for a cleaner for two hours each week. A cleaner that I sourced when I he’d refused to clean up after himself and sorting out his own ironing. I was thinking I’d send him an invoice of 100k for each year we were together. What do you think?

Please please give me hope that not all men are twats. Otherwise I may as well sew up my fanny for the rest of my days.

Xenia the op has facilitated him and his job by doing the bulk of house work/child rearing.
Why the hell should she accept a lesser quality of life after a divorce?

bertie 😂😂 I’m almost at that level for legal fees. It’s the price of freedom I keep telling myself. Unfortunately mine has decided to self rep. at the FH. it’s going to be a long couple of days.

Some very funny ex stories here for sure.

Ha. The 36-year-old man who asked me to move in with him when I was a teen runaway the day it became legal to sleep with me (age 18 where I lived), presented me with an itemized list of every expense he had spent on me during my 6 months with him at the time of our breakup and asked me if I planned to pay in a lump sum or installments. Everything was there, from the suit I bought to go to interviews to every breakfast or grocery bill.

And being an 18 year old, I actually felt guilty! Today I look back and just want to laugh at the idiocy of his request.

I'm pretty sure that most solicitors would advise their client that their demands were ludicrous, in order to manage expectations and to hopefully achieve the best possible result on their behalf. Unfortunately some clients are intractable.

My ExH told me he wanted a night rent for anyone who stayed overnight in the house he moved out of

I told him to fuck off

I got the house in the divorce....😼

When me And ex split up, he gave me an itemised bill for work he had done around the house, which was detailed down to changing light bulbs - £5. He also blamed mumswnt for us breaking up incidently!

A new catchphrase for Mumsnet?

MN, destroyer of shitty relationships.

I’m greateful for all the laughs. It’s certainly kept me amused.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/uks-biggest-divorce-award-good-news-stay-at-home-mothers-everywhere/amp/

He's not going to get very far with his ridiculous claims.

Hooray! Perhaps there'll be a new practice of naming Mumsnet as co-respondent in any divorce proceedings. Probably a badge of honour when dealing with men like your ex.

Ah my ex said he regretted buying me my iPad as it meant I could read and post on MN.
Wishing you the best in your up coming court hearing.

bertie thats shocking

but i cant belive a solicitor would seriously put all that to a judge-i mean what a farce

OP & bertielab
Unbelievable stories! Well actually, sadly they're very believable.
Mumsnet cited in a divorce

If it makes him happy to make his sad little list let him crack on, twatmonkey that he is

How jawdroppingly patronising of him. He assumes that you are incapable of thinking for yourself OP, and that social media has lead you astray and therefore derailed the marriage. What a little prick he is.

Hope the divorce is a very fast one!

Every single guppy

That made me pmsl.

My exh blamed the Bad Mothers' Club for me leaving him, amongst other things.

It's 9 years since I left. Trying to sort out the divorce and he is being an arse over it, even though I'm not asking for anything.

I no longer give a shit. I'm happy. He's old. And if he fucks about any more I'll just go ahead anyway.

Hope it's all sorted and he has to give you a huge amount of money.

Remember - the best revenge is to be happy.

I suppose you can't post the itemised bill on here, but can you post it on Facebook? No comment required.

Ok, I know you can't, but you can fantasise about it. Much as he is fantasising about it making a kernel of difference to anything.

What a nobhead.

bertielab thanks for sharing. Amazing story.

Fuck me, what a DICK he is. I hope it’s all over and done with swiftly, and with the outcome you want and so clearly deserve OP.

kiddingme glad you are laughing now. It made me laugh! Best day in court. Ever.

Midnite don't be so disparaging of those who "hang about and breed"

The only way I could get contraception was to go and get the coil in on the sneak by taking an 18 month old with me to the appointment. And I knew if he ever found out he would kill me. He raped me. Often. I have many children and many miscarriages as a result. I love my kids, I was trying to do the best for them but when you are being abused sexually, physically and mentally and financially controlled it's not that easy to leave.

I don't consider I "hung about and breeded". I was raped. Often. And impregnated against my wishes.

bertielab - I had a similar experience but mainly in relation to contact hearings.

Ex went through several lawyers as they kept quitting on him.

At the final hearing (there wouldn't have been more than one if he weren't such an arse! Actually there needn't have even been one if he'd remotely behaved like a responsible adult)

I'd discussed with my solicitor asking for a clause which stated (paraphrasing) if he KEPT taking the piss, he'd lose contact rights and possibly parental rights. Solicitor advised me (as she was required to) that it wasn't something that was 'done' especially when there was no imminent danger to the child (at this point emotional abuse was only just starting to become a widely recognised thing). I suspect helped by getting a particularly fastidious judge for the final hearing who had read ALL the paperwork, ex was in for a rude awakening. He thought he had me on the back foot as in his mind this time I'd stopped contact for a 'minor' reason (ostensibly because he'd turned up 7 hours late expecting to still be able to take dd out 'for the day' - it was nearly bedtime! Actually because he was also drunk!! And I'd had enough of this shit!). Judge basically was relatively quiet, asking the odd question. Then at the end said (paraphrasing again) "having looked at ALL the relevant paperwork I have to say I completely understand Graphista's viewpoint. Further not only are you wasting her time you are wasting the courts, by repeatedly agreeing to contact arrangements which you then completely ignore. Children are not toys to be picked up and played with on a whim (on a whim was actually said) and otherwise ignored. This is your last chance. The contact arrangements have been agreed by both parties and the court believes those arrangements to be perfectly reasonable. If mr exh you fail to arrive on time as per the arrangements on more than 2 occasions without a genuine emergency (he even gave some extreme examples!) then I am writing in to the contact order that this constitutes such disinterest that no further contact agreement will be enforced and serious consideration should be given to removing your parental rights." He actually went further than I'd asked, and said to his clerk he wanted ss told of the situation and that for ex to retain parental rights if he screwed up that he was keeping a close eye on this case and would be very clear when asked his opinion that he thought my ex had already had MORE than enough chances to get his shit together.

Sadly, ex did fade out of dds life, by the time she reached high school. Despite not only me, but his 2nd wife and his parents all bending over backwards to help him stay in her life. Ultimately he didn't do what he had to. Inaction
is a choice too. I didn't enforce this issue as it wasn't necessary - he'd removed himself from her life.

He did at one point try to tell dd it was all my fault and 'threaten' to send her all his 'evidence' of why. I happened to be in the same room when this phone conversation occurred. Dd looked to me kinda for approval? Permission? I indicated to her if she wanted to see all the paperwork she could, if she wanted him to send her whatever he thought he had - crack on! Funnily enough - he couldn't back pedal fast enough!!

Unfortunately just this year she reached out to him to try and re-establish contact - again everyone on the periphery willing and able yo help in any way needed - nah! Just couldn't even be arsed to phone her!

Good luck op, unfortunately I think you'll need it as you'll need to keep dealing with him as co-parent.

I feel sorry for the children. I feel sorry for whoever represents him in court. When you mentioned no help in child rearing or family management I wondered if this was the Rees-Mogg household, until the number of children and length of the marriage made me realise this was not the case. I apologise to the Rees-Mogg family for thinking this.

No, not all men are like this.