Dc about to be taken up in a light aircraft against my wishes

[dragonator]

Dc (9&11) are on holiday with ex and family about 5 hours away from here. There is an elderly relative there (not sure of exact age) who has a light aircraft and the dc were due to go there earlier in the year and to possible go up in it. That holiday didn't happen but I told ex mil at the time that I wouldn't want them going up in the plane.

I also mentioned it to the dc and they both said they wouldn't want to go in it - maybe they were trying to please me but we spoke about it in quite a neutral way and they both are quite risk averse.

Ex took them last weekend but (and I regret this now) I didn't mention the plane to him because he has form for not ever replying to my texts/emails and I knew from when we were together that this man only takes the plane up in May for a local event (there was some talk a few years ago about taking dc out of school to go to it, but my disagreement then focused on not taking them out of school, rather than the plane itself).

I have just had a text from ex saying relative is offering to take them up and it's a great opportunity so he assumes I agree. I have replied no, and rung dd, who is now saying she wants to go but says ex mil and ex are arguing because ex mil wants to stick to my wishes.

I'm trying to ring ex but he's not answering. wtf do I do?

What kind of plane is it?

There is nothing you can do. It's his time, he's an equal parent so if he wants to let DD up he can do.

Nice that MIL is paying attention to your views, but flying g is statistically safer than driving, and pilots do have medicals and fitness to fly checks.

if ex wants to do this he will regardless but i wonder if dd has 'been talked round' what about the other dc ?
when is this supposed to be happening ?

araiwa the light aircraft owner we know (and FIL when flying with him) have proven themselves a liability in the past (getting lost, almost running out of fuel, etc.) yet they are still allowed to fly.

Flying on a commercial plane is low risk yes, I’d still not let my kids fly a in a private light aircraft with an unknown hobbiest.

Presumably there are still rules in place that mean you have to do minimum hours flying time and have medicals in order to hold on to your PPL?

And I too grew up flying in light aircraft and helicopters. My dad was a precision engineer who designed cockpit instruments for light and commercial aircraft.

You don’t fly with the guy who dusts off his cessna once a year.

I would be nervous too but I don’t think there is much you can do here. He is their dad and has made his own judgement about the safety of his DC as has the pilot. Presumably they want to keep themselves and your DC safe so won’t be taking any risks.

I googled data on light aircraft accidents in the UK. (ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php/Air_safety_statistics_in_the_EU). They are very rare indeed, statistically it’s much safer than driving. I hope that thought is helpful to you and they have a safe and happy flight.

Why are people saying the OP has no say in the matter just because she is no longer with the father? She is their parent too and the family should respect her wishes. Good on the ex mil for doing so. I agree with the OP. I definitely would not be ok with this.

I suspect the ex-MIL is equally concerned and bscking the OP as she also doesn’t want it to happen.

YANBU and I remember your previous thread.

Presumably there are still rules in place that mean you have to do minimum hours flying time and have medicals in order to hold on to your PPL?

This. I don't believe that he can only be flying once a year because there are regulations that they have to keep up a minimum of flying hours annually, otherwise they lose their licence. And it's likely that the plane is shared and so used frequently - if it's a light aircraft then the damned thing wouldn't start if it's sitting on the tarmac for most of its life!

That said, I'd want reassurance before I allowed them to fly.

Cousinit
Why are people saying the OP has no say in the matter just because she is no longer with the father?

Because whether we agree or not (and I wouldn't like it either) its true. She does have no say. She can voice an opinion but that's it I'm afraid.

The law provides for each parent to be responsible for their child whilst in their access time.

I spent a lot of time in light aircrafts and gliders in my youth, but they were being flown by experienced RAF piolets. No way would I risk flying with someone who only flies once a year.

But aside from that there is no way anyone, especially a child who is nervous of flying should be going up in a light aircraft. If a child who is scared is pushed in to this and then has a terrible experience they might end up too scared to fly again.

agree, surely you have shared parental responsibility. your wishes do not trump his.
lighten up op

God knows what a piolet is, PILOT 🙄

what do you do op?
trust no one wants to kill anyone or die.

TattyCat

The minimum is something like 5 hours a year. That’s nothing really.

That's what I thought Tatty. Plus there are so many pre flight checks you have to do I remember getting v bored waiting to take off.

Also he will have to be talking to the control tower prior to take off etc.

Presumably if it is 5 hours minimum per year that has proved to be enough or they would have raised it?

I suspect the plane/owner has to be insured. I'd also be querying the insurance for flying kids. We visited a (much younger) relative who has a flying licence and pre-agreed that no way would any of us be going up, particularly not the kids. I am quite risk averse, but would be very wary of light aircraft with pilots who fly rarely (and I have been up in one, done helicopter & glider).

Sparklingbrook

Well, DH is saying that it is very much like driving skill and that his best customers hold themselves to a high standard of competence and fly often. In his experience, customers who only fly the minimum are a menace and very rusty and have a lot of near misses. He says what he calls ‘finger failure’ by the pilot is the cause of more accidents than anything else.

He is saying that he wouldn’t go up in that plane himself and he flies every week to do checks.

I totally get your concerns, but he is their parent too and is allowed to make decisions about DCs when they are in his care. Unless what he is proposing is illegal, you don't have a say. I also suspect that the more fuss you make, the more likely he is to do the opposite.

Hopefully, your MiL can convince him that it isn't a good idea.

Dunno anything about light aircraft, but I've just been asking myself whether I'd let someone who'd only put in 5 hours' driving time over the last year give my children a lift.

I think you're being ridiculous. All four of mine flew with an elderly (in his 60s anyway) relative as they were growing up. They loved it and still talk about it now. It would cost ££ if they were paying for the experience.

I assume the pilot has a valid licence and doesn't want to die or kill a pair of kids, and I assume their dad and grandparents wouldn't be reckless with their lives either.

You're pissing your ex off and disappointing your kids for no reason whatsoever, to avoid a vanishingly small risk that you probably don't even think about when you cross the road.

Yes your ex could ignore you and do it anyway, but talk about taking the shine off - your dc would just be fretting that they'd upset you the whole time.

Text your ex and explain that you're not being an arse but actually are just very worried, explain why and tell him you trust him to keep them safe.

Text your kids and tell them to have a fab time and take lots of photos for you.

It would be interesting to know the accident stats re pilots who don't fly often or just enough to maintain their PPL.