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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh and neighbour’s front garden

100 replies

PeridotCricket · 17/08/2018 08:05

Our neighbours grass is knee high in their front garden. They haven’t cut it since they moved in months ago. They might be cultivating a wildlife garden in their small terraced front garden but I’m fairly sure they aren’t.

My view is whatever,, I struggle to care.

dH wants to offer them the use of our lawnmower.....to the neighbours we are on nodding terms with....

I suggested that was quite passive aggressive and he said ask mumsnet.

OP posts:
Ginorchoc · 17/08/2018 08:08

Mmm yes it is a bit passive aggressive. Let him do it and hide, I’m on your side, wouldn’t say anything, unless it was habouring a rat village.

52FestiveRoad · 17/08/2018 08:09

I think that would be insulting of him, they will know that the 'loan' is actually a dig at them and the state of their garden. Does it really matter what someone else's garden looks like on the grand scheme of things?

Karigan198 · 17/08/2018 08:09

Lol passive aggressive and also wouldn’t work anyway. If it’s that high it’ll need to be strimmed first

Feltcushion · 17/08/2018 08:09

offer to cut if for them when you do yours

Original poster
PeridotCricket · 17/08/2018 08:11

feltcushion isn’t that as bad?

OP posts:
LongSummerDays · 17/08/2018 08:12

It's their garden. Not your DH's.

If the neighbours want their grass cut, they'll do it (or get someone in to do it).

Big case of MYOB.

Peachpebbles · 17/08/2018 08:12

It is very passive aggressive & I'm not sure if be bothered enough to potentially cause friction. Agree it sounds like it needs strimming first anyway

LakieLady · 17/08/2018 08:12

Their garden, their grass, their choice. And it would be very PA of him!

Unless they're elderly and infirm, an offer of help is likely to be counter productive. They might add an old fridge or two just to piss him off some more!

Clairetree1 · 17/08/2018 08:14

why does it matter how high their grass is?

BastardGoDarkly · 17/08/2018 08:14

No, tell him not to.

They might be waiting on money to get it done/buy the stuff.

Or they might not give a shit.

Either way, it'll sour relations.

TooTrueToBeGood · 17/08/2018 08:15

What next? Offer to lend them a sponge and bucket if their windows are dirty? It's passive aggressive bullshit. If he thinks he has a right to tell them to cut their grass then tell him to grow a pair of balls and tell them straight. Hopefully they'll tell him to fuck off and mind his own business.

MrsWembley · 17/08/2018 08:16

Oh god, it's not me is it?Shock

I'm 'cultivating' a wild patch (can't say wild flower as this is the first year and none of my bloody seeds made it to flowersSad) But the grass looks bloody brilliant and I do have lots of insects around.

I mention frequently to my neighbours that next year it will be a riot of colour...

trojanpony · 17/08/2018 08:16

Agree it’s very PA

To be honest if I was on the receiving end I’d respond much more favourably to feltcushions offer so if he wants it sorted I’d go with that

PurpleWithRed · 17/08/2018 08:20

MrsWembley, cultivating a wild flower garden requires quite a bit of actual gardening - wild flowers tend to like specific conditions such as very poor soil, need cutting at a specific time of year, and struggle to compete with grass. One trick for making it look deliberate is to mow a strip round the edge or a wiggly path through it. This may prevent your passive-aggressive neighbour misunderstanding your intentions and offering the use of his lawnmower.

Bluntness100 · 17/08/2018 08:20

I'm with your husband, if it's an eye sore, it's an eye sore. I'd probably not offer them the use of my lawn mower though, I'd make a joke about it to them, something like "growing a meadow there mate" and laugh.

I'd offer help if they said yes we can't manage it or something.

ResistanceIsNecessary · 17/08/2018 08:25

It is PA so he shouldn't do it.

I do understand being irritated by it though. I am a keen gardener and I would suffer silently every time I looked out of the window at their hayfield and dream of letting loose with my strimmer Grin

But it's their garden and unless it starts to cause problems for you then he needs to MHOB.

SoupDragon · 17/08/2018 08:26

if it's an eye sore, it's an eye sore

Just because you think it’s an eyesore doesn’t mean that it is.

Timeforabiscuit · 17/08/2018 08:29

The lawnmower wont work as its too long, isnt there anything your dh could spend his time more constructively on?

Im guilty of thinking next doors fences could do with a lick of paint when doing mine and im halfway offering the paint and doing it for them before clocking that I have my own stuff to do!

diddl · 17/08/2018 08:33

Well I know that it's not me as we have no grass at the front-just soil & knee high weeds!

ferrier · 17/08/2018 08:34

Im with FeltCushion.
They may like their wildgrasses garden so definitely don't actually do it!

MarchingOrders · 17/08/2018 08:34

Our neighbours are like this. Our garden isn't as bad as that but they have fake grass laid and ours is all dead and we had to cut the hedge which hasn't grown back, it basically looks scruffy.
I have CFS, a heart condition which I have to take a lot of medication for and also a growth on my brain all of which causes me a lot of pain and exhaustion - I just don't have the energy or time to make our front garden look amazing. They offered me their hedge trimmer once and it just gave me another thing to worry about. Definitely don't do it, you don't know what's going on.

ferrier · 17/08/2018 08:35

Which since the thread has moved on was offer to cut it when you do yours.

Stefoscope · 17/08/2018 08:40

He'd hate us then. Our front garden ressembles a wasteland as we've been pulling out the previous owners' neglected mess. It will look good one day, but it's a slow process when you work as well. My retired neighbour is always making passive aggressive digs in some way about our garden.

A few weeks ago it was because we hadn't cut the hedges this year. It's a 4.5ft ish high box hedge, so isn't overhanging her garden or blocking her light or anything. It just looks unsymmetrical when one side is cut and the other isn't. My hand got broken 3 months ago and I'm still not allowed to move anything heavy, so obviously hadn't managed to do it. I'd spoken to DP back in May before she mentioned it and he'd agreed to do them. The problem is the moment she opened her mouth, it put his back up as he doesn't like being told what to do with his own house and garden, so he refused to do it.

Original poster
PeridotCricket · 17/08/2018 08:41

My view is it’s their garden they can do what they like with it. Put down fake pink grass and fill it with gnomes if they want.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/08/2018 08:43

Just because you think it’s an eyesore doesn’t mean that it is

Well it would be an eye sore to me 🤣

Let's be honest, letting your grass getting all over grown and out of hand then pretending it's because you're growing a wild meadow is bonkers. 🤣