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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh and neighbour’s front garden

100 replies

PeridotCricket · 17/08/2018 08:05

Our neighbours grass is knee high in their front garden. They haven’t cut it since they moved in months ago. They might be cultivating a wildlife garden in their small terraced front garden but I’m fairly sure they aren’t.

My view is whatever,, I struggle to care.

dH wants to offer them the use of our lawnmower.....to the neighbours we are on nodding terms with....

I suggested that was quite passive aggressive and he said ask mumsnet.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 17/08/2018 08:45

We used to have a garden like this. To be fair with me it was because I was very unwell and just couldn’t do it although I appeared to be okay. If your dh had offered me the lawnmower I would have probably replied I couldn’t do it but he was welcome to come round and give it a go!

ImAIdoot · 17/08/2018 08:48

Tell him to stop it, and stop worrying about how other people live their lives as if is is his business.

Busybodies make people miserable.

SirGawain · 17/08/2018 08:52

offer to cut if for them when you do yours
Never offer to cut a network neighbors lawn. It will become your job for ever.

Slartybartfast · 17/08/2018 08:53

think of the wild life rats in their front garden.

keep out of it op and your dh

SoupDragon · 17/08/2018 08:59

Rats don’t live in long grass. Sheds, decking... far more appealing to them.

SoupDragon · 17/08/2018 09:02

My rear garden looked so much better with long grass and seed heads wafting in the breeze.

I had to keep it mown when we got a dog though.

MirriVan · 17/08/2018 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MirriVan · 17/08/2018 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 17/08/2018 09:07

If they are renting they may not have a lawnmower or anywhere to store one if they decide a cheap second hand one is worth it for that size patch ( especially if it's not theirs).

Don't do PA " growing a meadow" comments. Just say you'd be happy to cut there's as well if they wanted. Make sure they know you don't mind either if they leave it ( as a wild flower meadow Wink)

AjasLipstick · 17/08/2018 09:09

Why does he care though? It's not his house.

scrumplepaper · 17/08/2018 09:12

Why would anyone be so nasty as to make horrible "growing a meadow" comments?

That's really horrible. You have no idea what's going on in their lives - it's their grass, leave them alone.

Or, you know, try being more than a nodding neighbour and get to know them and then offer support if it's needed.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/08/2018 09:13

If the right conversation ever came up, he could offer to do it for them (weekly) but otherwise, he needs to get a hobby, or get busier at work, so he doesn't have mental space to worry about such trivia.

EachPeachPearRum · 17/08/2018 09:17

This happened to us. We had an "offer" to use a lawnmower. I was ever so pleased because it shamed DH into finally doing it!

FiestaThenSiesta · 17/08/2018 09:18

An overgrown lawn isn’t a meadow just because it’s got some tall grass in it. And it isn’t a wild garden. If they were creating a meadow, they’d have trimmed the existing lawn grass down to give the wildflowers a chance.

Bluntness100 · 17/08/2018 09:22

Why would anyone be so nasty as to make horrible "growing a meadow" comments?

"So Nasty" 🤣

That's quite sweet actually. You've clearly never had anyone be nasty to you, if you'd get an attack of the vapours over that. 😍

theSnuffster · 17/08/2018 09:24

Our old neighbours cut our grass once. It had got pretty wild. I'd just had a baby who was in scbu so we were very grateful for their help. Any other time I'd probably think it was a dig and would be a bit offended... but also be quietly glad that it had saved us a job!

We're the type that don't care too much if it doesn't look lovely and tidy, but at the same time we try not to let it get too bad.

scrumplepaper · 17/08/2018 09:25

I have physical issues and mh issues that mean I cannot cut the grass. I am glad you find me so amuzing.

scrumplepaper · 17/08/2018 09:27

And attack of the vapours is a very misogynistic insult.

thenightsky · 17/08/2018 09:33

Perhaps they are growing it for hay. Do they have rabbits and guinea pigs etc?

WizardOfToss · 17/08/2018 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverBuckles · 17/08/2018 09:41

If your DH wants to come to mine & chop my hedge, please send him over!

But otherwise, it is a bit passive-aggressive: if a neighbour hasn't cut their grass there could many reasons for it. I'd feel really under pressure & criticised if a neighbour offered me a lawnmower, and not very happy, tbh.

placemats · 17/08/2018 09:42

Agree with PPs on the cultivation of a wild garden patch. Do not let the grass grow as it will compete with the wild flowers.

placemats · 17/08/2018 09:44

I offered to cut my neighbour's hedge, I have an electric hedge cutter, but she said no thanks and that she would get round to it. Her choice.

He should go to them and make the offer but if they say no, then leave it at that.

SilverBuckles · 17/08/2018 09:53

I'm in two minds about my messy front garden - it's got a lot of buddleia plants (big weeds really!) but I love the way the bees & butterflies love buddleia. I've been rooting most of it out, but would love to keep a couple for the insects. Any ideas/expertise? I am so NOT a gardener

HappilyHarridan · 17/08/2018 09:57

Neighbours did this to me once, turned up on my doorstep with a hedge trimmer and asked if I'd like to borrow it. I thought it was quite funny, and I did trim my hedge!