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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if your kids have their own rooms?

146 replies

Theunmumsymummy · 16/08/2018 22:59

I mentioned to a friend the other day that me and my sister (3 years older) had shared a room growing up and that my brother (7 years younger) had slept in an alcove area of my parent's room as there were only two bedrooms. After my sister left home he shared with me. My friend was shocked about him being in my parent's room (which I understand is unusual) but said she thought it was unusual that me and my sister shared a room when we were teengers and that she didn't think that really happened anymore. She's bu, isn't she?

OP posts:
Fatted · 17/08/2018 09:42

I was one of 4 kids and we grew up in a four bedroom house so my sisters shared. They had the biggest room.

My boys share currently. We only have a 2 bedroom house so needs must. I'd like to move into a bigger house when they're in their teens so they can have their own space. But we will see what we can afford nearer the time.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 17/08/2018 09:42

To answer the question about how we manage as bedroom-less adults, we have very spacious hallways so our clothes are on rails (quite out of the way) and a big chest of drawers in those. There's also a chest with bedding, pyjamas, underwear etc in our (very large) bathroom. We have a sofabed - tbh atm only dh is on there as toddler dd was in with us until we moved out of our room a few weeks ago and I'm sleeping on another sofabed in her room. We're planning to get a big futon-sofa for the living room. Next to sofabed is a big wooden box/chest for duvet/pillows.

It's all doable because we have a spacious old-fashioned German flat. I think it would be a lot harder in a typical British 3-bed terrace or semi.

LEELULUMPKIN · 17/08/2018 09:45

I shared with my DS who was 5 yrs older than me, whilst our older Sister who was 10 yrs older than me had her own room.

It definitely made us two that shared much closer. She was horrible to me at times and always got lumbered with looking out for her PITA kid Sister but in spite of that we are best of friends.

Eldest Sister got married at 24 so middle Sister moved out from sharing with me (14) aged 19 into Eldest Sister's tiny room.

I was overjoyed as I got to stay in the largest bedroom in the house and that Is where my DH & I still sleep to this day.

Our only child DS 13 has a double bed in my Mum & Dad's old bedroom which leaves us with one spare room, eldest Sister's old bedroom.

GreenMeerkat · 17/08/2018 09:46

I have 3 bedrooms. My DDs (3 and 4) share a room. They actually asked if they could about 18 months ago as DD1 wanted bunk beds and DD2 said she got scared sleeping alone. Just as well really as I'm due baby #3 in October.

I had my own room growing up but younger DBs shared. What else are you supposed to do if you have more kids than bedrooms?

Gatehouse77 · 17/08/2018 09:48

My sister and I shared until 13/14 respectively.
My girls shared until 14/15 respectively.

On both occasions it was only a change in circumstances that allowed for an extra room. If that hadn't happened, then we/they would still be sharing.

Our youngest was in with us until 17 months as we wanted to establish good sleeping patterns before putting the girls in together after it all going tits up when we tried with DS and DD1🙄

eeanne · 17/08/2018 10:45

*@Gatehouse77 I was hoping to put the DDs together when DD2 is 12 months...you think better to wait longer?

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler · 17/08/2018 10:50

My brothers shared a room. I had my own. I can't think of any friends growing up where same sex siblings didn't share.

My own DSs (13, 11) share.

WorldCupnovice · 17/08/2018 11:05

I grew up in a three bed house, only had one sibling but my DGM lived with us, so I shared a very large room with my DS. Funnily enough this was the same situation for two of our neighbours. In one the two sisters shared the large room and DGM had small room like my house, in the other the DD shared large room with DGM and the DS had the small room. I think we all grew up fairly well balanced, although I did vow that my kids would never share, but as I only have one DC it is not an issue!

stargirl1701 · 17/08/2018 11:30

DDs share a room. We have 3 spare rooms but they prefer to share.

wonkylegs · 17/08/2018 11:44

I shared a room with my brother when I was 10 and he was a baby - that was unusual but there were 4 of us.
Our kids are lucky enough to have their own rooms but most of DS1s friends share.
I don't think it's unusual - in my DSs class he's the odd one out one and funnily enough he's envious of their bunk beds. I'm sure it won't last and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to share with DS2

funinthesun18 · 17/08/2018 12:49

Mine don’t have their own rooms.
When we move they still won’t all have their own room but we will have more bedrooms.
DS1 (7) will have his own room
DS2 (5) and DS3 (3) will share
DD (when she moves out of our room) and DSD (12) will share

PsychoPumpkin · 17/08/2018 12:53

My eldest two shared I. Our last house and the baby was in with us as it was a 2 up 2 down.

We live in a 4 bed now and they all have their own room but I’d have been happy with them sharing if the house was smaller.

My sister and I shared until I was 15

Deadringer · 17/08/2018 13:14

I think sharing is lovely when they are small, if it works out, when siblings get on they are great company for each other.

Gatehouse77 · 17/08/2018 15:49

@eeanna

Not necessarily. DS was (and still is) a terrible sleeper. We thought putting DD1 in there when she was about 1 might help because he'd have company. Unfortunately, it just screwed up DD1s sleeping pattern. So we separated them.

You know your children best and what their sleeping patterns are.

I always believe I'm doing the right thing...doesn't mean I'm getting it right!

Arrowfanatic · 17/08/2018 15:56

My girls age 9 and 6 share. My son age 7 has his own room.

Growing up I shared with both my sister's and my brother had his own room. Then our housing situation changed and I ended up sharing with my mum from 17 years old until I moved out at 24.

We would love to have a 4 bed house so kids all have their own rooms but housing here is hugely expensive and we were lucky to get the 3 bed we did at the price we did.

descalina · 17/08/2018 16:09

It's really important to me that my kids have their own rooms, their own space. I didn't get on with my sibling and my life would have been a nightmare if I hadn't been able to retreat to a room where he wasn't allowed to bother me. I also have friends who can't deal with being alone and I'm pretty sure it's because they never had the chance to spend any time in their own company!

speakout · 17/08/2018 16:13

descalina

For many it is a luxury for all children to have their own room.

Not everyone is in such a privileged position.

It's not a choice for many.

I am extremely lucky to have a home that allows that to happen, but it's not a "choice" for many.

idonthaveatattoo · 17/08/2018 16:16

Personally, the size of my home would dictate the size of my family (obviously I appreciate things can change and that unplanned circumstances, e.g. multiple births, can happen.)

But I wouldn’t choose to have three children and a two bed house.

It’s one thing choosing to share with a sibling, but when you have to it’s not fun. I fucking hated sharing with my sister and the feeling was mutual.

Yogafailure · 17/08/2018 16:42

All 3 dcs have their own rooms. In fact we extended the house whilst dc3 was newborn so that all had their own rooms. There's quite a gap between dc 1/2 and 3 and sharing wouldn't have worked.

Currently DD has the biggest bedroom and both DS' covet it although dc 1/2 chose their own rooms so tough!

speakout · 17/08/2018 16:49

idonthaveatattoo

But what if you have a two bedroomed home?

Does that mean you should have only one child?

Because there is a 50% chance that you will have two children of opposite sex, and they will at some point become teenagers and need a bedroom each.

You are advocating a one child policy for couples with two bedrooms.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 17/08/2018 16:50

I have 3 dc and 2 of them had to share until we extended and got an extra bedroom.

idonthaveatattoo · 17/08/2018 16:51

Well, yeah, speak

I’m not China Grin I’m not saying it should be the law that you don’t have more children than bedrooms, but personally, I wouldn’t expect my kids to share.

I had a friend with three kids (two girls and a boy) in a two bed flat and it’s pretty miserable tbh,

speakout · 17/08/2018 16:56

idonthaveatattoo

Many children enjoy sharing.

I grew up having to share a bedroom with my sister, we enjoyed it,

idonthaveatattoo · 17/08/2018 17:12

Yeah but I don’t think that’s a decision you can make for the child.

Three bedrooms, two children - children choose to share, fine.

Two bedrooms, two children - children have to share and may enjoy it but may not - not so fine.

speakout · 17/08/2018 17:32

idonthaveatattoo you are so far removed from realities.

All over the world familes are being raised in one single room.
My father was one of nine, he was raised in a two roomed home.

One was for cooking/eating.living and girls bedroom.
Other room was for boys sleeping.