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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if your kids have their own rooms?

146 replies

Theunmumsymummy · 16/08/2018 22:59

I mentioned to a friend the other day that me and my sister (3 years older) had shared a room growing up and that my brother (7 years younger) had slept in an alcove area of my parent's room as there were only two bedrooms. After my sister left home he shared with me. My friend was shocked about him being in my parent's room (which I understand is unusual) but said she thought it was unusual that me and my sister shared a room when we were teengers and that she didn't think that really happened anymore. She's bu, isn't she?

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 17/08/2018 07:34

DS1 and DS3 shared a room until DS1 left home to go to uni 8 years ago. They were the two most similar in temperament and there were never any complaints.

When DS1 comes home to visit now, DS3 chooses to sleep on the sofa as DS1apparently snores!

DieAntword · 17/08/2018 07:38

Mine are only 2 and 7m so it’s not unusual that they share. I want more though and I am unlikely to have enough money for enough bedrooms for all of them (unless my parents and brother die and I inherit their 7 bedroom house). So I guess they’ll have to share even as teenagers.

My plan is to aim for boys room, girls room, guest/snore escape room, parents room.

CasperGutman · 17/08/2018 07:39

My parents had two boys in a five-bedroomed house. We shared a room until we were about 11 years old, because we liked it that way.

Oliversmumsarmy · 17/08/2018 07:43

Mine shared until they were 9 and 7 then they got their own room but still ended up sharing as they liked to play and chat in the evening.

Even now I will go to bed whilst they are watching a film or playing on the Xbox and they will fall asleep in each other's bedroom.

Bluelonerose · 17/08/2018 07:43

I never shared growing up it was only me and db in a 3 bed. My dm wouldn't have any more children because she grew up sharing a room even though there was a spare room and hated it.

I've got 3 dc.
At one point ds1 and dd had their own rooms but then I split up with their dad and was housed in a 2 bed by the council so they had no choice but to share.
Dd was ok but ds1 hated it and it caused nothing but problems.
We moved to a 3bed when ds2 was born.

Ds1 15 and ds2 8 share. Ds1 hates it but ds2 loves it.
Ds1 has his own room at his dad's though and much prefers that. I no as soon as he finishes his education he's off to live at his dad's though.

Theresnodisneyending · 17/08/2018 07:44

Our 5 year old has a room to himself as he's an early riser and needs certain conditions in his room to be happy to sleep which is totally at odds with his siblings. The siblings happily share. They could have their own rooms but maybe later.

FlotSHAMnJetson · 17/08/2018 07:46

Surely it depends on how many children you have vs how many bedrooms you have?

NerrSnerr · 17/08/2018 07:48

I didn't share and my children don't share. We only have two children and have enough bedrooms. I would have been a disaster if my sister and I shared a room as our personalities really clashed. We both appreciated the space.

Larasshadow · 17/08/2018 07:50

DD 11 and DS 6 share a room. Can't afford a bigger house right now. Would love them to have their own rooms.

NotAnotherHeffalump · 17/08/2018 07:54

We always had enough bedrooms for one each growing up, but until I was about 10 my sister and I would choose to sleep in the same room though (she's a year younger than me).

We have 3 DC (9, 3 and 2) and a 6 bed. One bedroom is a playroom. DC have their own rooms and we have a spare. The 3 and 2 year old will choose to sleep together in DDs double bed 9 times out of 10. Occasionally one of the younger ones will crawl into DS1s (aged 10) bunk bed with him, although they go into the same bed as him, not the one below/above. We would like more DC and I wouldn't have a problem with them sharing at all, especially pre-puberty or while they're still comfortable with it.

Although the wee ones end up in our bed a fair bit, i would not be happy for DCs to properly share our room.

ChimesAtMidnight · 17/08/2018 08:13

My DF grew up sleeping in an alcove in the kitchen. My GPs rented a tiny flat and it was all they could afford.

AutoFilled · 17/08/2018 08:16

My two have separate bedrooms since birth. My brother and I have never shared a room either.

MaryDollNesbitt · 17/08/2018 08:18

I was very lucky growing up. I had my own room, as did my two siblings. My parents always bought 4 bed houses so that everybody could have their own space. Both of them grew up in poor (but very happy) families with multiple people needing to share rooms. Mum is one of five, Dad one of three, and they were both raised in two bed properties with parents AND grandparents all under the one roof.

I only have one DD, so she’s always had her own bedroom. The couple next door to us can have up to four girls sharing a bedroom when his daughters come to stay with them (2 bed flat). They can’t afford to buy/privately rent a three (or more) bed property and there isn’t enough social housing stock in our area - most of the old 3 bed council properties were sold off under right to buy and never replaced. They have 2 sets of bunkbeds in the room. The girls love it!

stegosauruslady · 17/08/2018 08:19

I currently have three DDs in a three bed house, the eldest and youngest share as DD3 is always asleep by the time DD1 goes to bed so no one gets disturbed!

When DC4 comes along in January they will be in with us for a year (or until reliably sleeping through!) and will then go in with DD2 for a year ish until we move house! Moving is more about the living space than bedroom space though.

TrappedByATurtle · 17/08/2018 08:21

Yes, mine do. But only because they have such different sleep rhythms. If they were more alike we would have put them in together and had one room as a playroom which would have been far more practical than toys strewn all over the living room.

ImNotAsGreenasImCabbageLooking · 17/08/2018 08:21

Did your friend only knew people with one or two children? It wasn't unusual when I was growing up and even with family sizes being smaller these days, It's not unusual now. Plenty of people living in 2/3 bed houses or flats after all.

I didn't have my own room until I left home and know lots of people who'd say the same. Maybe your friend is one of those people who thinks "unusual" means "not my exact experience" Hmm

CanineEnigma · 17/08/2018 08:23

I shared a room with my younger sister and brother from the age of 2 to when I moved out for uni at 17 and then part time until I moved out properly at 21. My brother and sister still share the room when my sister is at home, but she’s moving out to her own place soon.

My DC (3 and 5) share. Hopefully we’ll be able to move into a 3 bed by the time DS is 10. Maybe even a 4 bed so we could have -gasp- a spare room 😱

I think sharing is good for children to a point - it teaches them compromise etc. But equally my relationship with my sister improved when we weren’t living in close quarters.

hazeyjane · 17/08/2018 08:26

I shared with my sister until she moved out, I loved it apart from her love of Horror film posters!

We have 3 in a 3 bedroom house, Ds (8) is on his own and the dd's (12 and 11) share a big room. They each have a cabin bed and have made the underneath bits their mini rooms. We can't afford a bigger house, so if they stop enjoying sharing, one will have to in a tent in the garden!

sickmumma · 17/08/2018 08:58

We will have 4DC in a 3 bed house, I think siblings sharing will become more common with the rising cost of housing. Many people just can't afford bigger properties. We are in south east. I don't think there is any harm in siblings sharing tbh!

BarbarianMum · 17/08/2018 09:02

Mine shared til ages 10 and 8 respectively. Now very happy in their own rooms. I dont know anyone (in the UK) who shared through their teen years and didnt hate it.

thecatsthecats · 17/08/2018 09:14

We have a 3 bed house, plan to have two kids. Master bedroom, large double, small single. Plan is:

Baby in single after leaving our room. Double stays for guests.
Eldest moved to double when we have second. Baby moves into single until sleep is close enough to eldest.
Both share double, single becomes squeezed small double for guests.
If we don't/can't upgrade, move them into separate rooms when the eldest is 10ish.

mummabearfourbabybears · 17/08/2018 09:30

All four of mine have their own rooms but the youngest two still like to share sometimes. I think it's perfectly fine to share rooms to be honest. Certainly quite normal and I tell my children they are quite privileged to have their own space.

LeighaJ · 17/08/2018 09:32

I shared with my sister til I was 12. My husband's step-sisters shared a room up to 18.

harrietm87 · 17/08/2018 09:33

I shared with my sister until I left home. It was quite a big room and we liked it! I've got one baby but if we have another they will definitely share a room at least for the first few years as we'd like to keep a guest room (family live abroad).

SagelyNodding · 17/08/2018 09:36

My 2 sons share a huge bedroom. The house has 3 bedrooms but due to layout and room sizes (2 v large bedrooms upstairs and a tiny, tiny ensuite downstairs) it's easier that way. Guests have the tiny room, and when nobody is using it I can shower and dry my hair before work without waking anyone up.

When we eventually buy a house I want the DC to have their own spaces, especially for the teenage years.