To be annoyed I’m having to fight so hard to have an elective caesarean?

[OutPinked]

Basically, after three 10lb babies, my uterus has understandably lost its tone. I am 28 weeks with my fourth and final baby but measuring 32 weeks. I’ve been referred for a growth scan which will be utterly pointless as they always are. They’ll confirm he’s a big baby then do nothing with that information because there’s not really much they can do. Passed GTT with flying colours and I’m not obese, it’s just genetics.

First delivery was shoulder dystocia with emergency forceps and an extended episiotomy. Stitches burst open and became infected, I was in agony for weeks. Second delivery was retained placenta and huge PPH, again I was rushed down to theatre then later given two blood transfusions. It still took me weeks to recover and feel human again. Third delivery went ok but I needed an injection to stem the bleed.

Last year I had medical management for a missed miscarriage. Had a massive haemmorhage, went into shock, fell unconscious and needed emergency surgery+ a blood transfusion. Again, it took me weeks to feel human and I was on iron tablets for months.

DP can’t face the trauma of seeing me nearly die again and I can’t face the trauma of doctors piling in from all angles, jumping on top of me and being rushed down to theatre either. We’ve both decided an elective caesarean is safest. There’s no risk to future pregnancies because there won’t be any. If I do start to haemorrhage again, at least I’m already in theatre surrounded by medics who will immediately be on top of it.
It just seems far more calm and controlled and to me, is an absolute no brainer.

However, I have now seen two consultants who have tried their upmost to deter me. I’ve had almost pointless risk factors thrown in my face (pointless because there’s more chance of dying in a car accident but that won’t stop me driving). I’ve been told that I may bleed more after a CS and when I’ve explained the fact its still safer than risking that blood loss after a ‘natural’ delivery they shoot me down by saying they will still be on hand if it happens after a natural delivery. They don’t seem to grasp that I don’t want them to have to rush in from all angles, I want them to just be there from the off. They also try to deter me by mentioning recovery time forgetting how long it took me to recover after my first and second deliveries as well as the MMC last year.

After yesterday’s consultant appointment, I now have to see an ‘expert midwife’ to ‘discuss birth options’ . Seems ridiculously patronising because my mind is evidently made up but it’s just another hoop to jump through... then I will have to see the consultant again if it’s still what I want (it will be). Argh! To me, it’s just another example of women not being trusted to make the right decision for their own body and I’m tired of it. It’s irritating they reserve so much energy to warn women of risk factors during a caesarean but never ever warn them of what can go wrong during a ‘natural delivery’ too.

I’ve commented before and think OP should get the delivery she wants...however, has anybody suggested an induction at approximately term? This would mean baby isn’t quite so big, Op would be in hospital and delivery would controlled and cannula already ready for an IV of syntocin to control bleeding after. I’ve had 4 deliveries like this & found it reassuring to know everything was undercontrol (as much as is humanly possible during delivery). Obviously the downside is the risk that comes with any induction, which are smaller than those associated with CS. I’ve had 6 of my 8 babies induced and only the first induction with my first baby (pre eclampsia) resulted in intervention (emcs due to foetal distress).

Her fear is that the doctors won’t be available if there is an emergency. Why do you think this is? There’s no bloody staff!

Which is down to chronic underfunding by the Tory government, not women asking for cesarean births.

You’re right I’m not an obstetrician and neither are you guys. But guess what? That was the advice given by OP’s.
I’m being called names and skated because I’m trusting the advice of an experienced consultant 😂😂😂😂

You're not the OP. She will find another consultant. Dear god, what's wrong with you?

Merailing someone else's thread with your own personal agenda. Weird.

I just hope a helpless baby won’t suffer because of her choice

Disgusting and appalling comment.

You mean like my helpless baby, who would have been saved by a C section, Londoner?

londoner can you really be so naive? The consultants the OP has spoken to have a massive vested interest in pushing her towards a vaginal birth. They literally have targets to meet on this very issue. Do you really think their advice is neutral???

You just come across as so lacking in critical thinking skills. Self-hating, too. And bitter and malicious and deeply, deeply sexist. All the bad things, really.

OP will get her CS if she pushes for it, we hope, even though she shouldn’t need to push for it. Sorry, londoner! Hope you don’t lose too much sleep feeling bitter over the needless distress she’s avoiding.

@leftright she doesn’t need another consultant. She’ll get her bloody c section regardless.

@blairwaldorf no but it would if every woman had that mentality.

I just hope a helpless baby won’t suffer because of her choice. A baby who really needs it. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Oh, please, no you don't. You're more concerned with ramrodding your own personal agenda down women's throats and merailing someone else's thread.

Out, hope you keep posting on your thread and ignore the weirdos are you've had some good advice here and will get more. Hope you also get your CS .

😂😂😂 sexist.

no but it would if every woman had that mentality.

If every woman had elective cesareans, staffing ratios would be better as it would vastly reduce unplanned labours and emergencies, and they could organise what staff is needed where.

I’m concerned about time wasters. People who choose to have children with the fear of dying. What a load of shite. If you genuinely think like that then think about the children and partner you leave behind.

I’m concerned about time wasters. People who choose to have children with the fear of dying.

What? What is time wasting about requesting a cesarean?

I’ve said time and time again that I’m not against elective c sections. It’s very clear by the OP that it is not needed. Read between the lines. Funnily enough her consultants think the same. I’ll leave it at that. Clearly keyboard warriors are more informed then two consultants.

And plenty of women want a vaginal birth. I had 3 of them, 2 with instruments, the first of which did cause some problems down below. Other women want a CS. Good on all of them!

I think we're all just feeding this creature now. Hopefully OP will open a new thread with her next update.

I just hope a helpless baby won’t suffer because of her choice. A baby who really needs it

This is really low.

It’s very clear by the OP that it is not needed. Read between the lines. Funnily enough her consultants think the same. I’ll leave it at that. Clearly keyboard warriors are more informed then two consultants.

It's very clear from the OP that she does need one because she has decided that this is the mode of her birth that's best for her. Funnily enough, the UK has lots of OB consultants in it, and they disagree with each other all the time. She happened to meet 2 who aren't willing to meet her needs. So she'll find another one who is more informed.

Pretty much, Blue.

Universal ELCS would be cheaper for the NHS. Funny how the cost crusaders never advocate for that, isn't it? Almost like it's not really the cost they're actually worried about.

Universal ELCS would be cheaper for the NHS. Funny how the cost crusaders never advocate for that, isn't it? Almost like it's not really the cost they're actually worried about.

It’s more about keeping those damn women who want to have bodily autonomy in their place.

See if you can get the hospital psychs on board. They’ll go in to bat for you. I’m a midwife, but really I think with your history you should get a say, and your request is valid. They could tie your tubes too at the same time if that was something you were after...

Wow. I commented a few pages ago, checked back and it’s all gone a bit bonkers with nasty comments back and forth!!

For what it’s worth I totally knew my own mind, pushed and fought for an elective after my first son was stillborn at 41 weeks (ptsd, vaginal delivery and all the rest as you can imagine).

I got my electives, twice, and now suffer quite significant health problems because of it. I was fine for a number of years after but it’s now been ten years since my elective and I’m on track to have a hysterectomy before 40 directly due to conditions caused by my elective caesareans.

I thought I was right, I thought the consultants were stupid and didn’t understand. 20/20 hindsight vision is utterly useless to me but they were right - it’s a major operation that CAN have significant side effects in the future.

OP should probably get hers with all her issues but I don’t think it’s wrong that it be made difficult to get one - it shouldn’t be a given just because a woman wants one. Consultants do have a broader view of the issues.

Sorry to hear of your past problems with the previous births, also for your missed miscarriage- I had the same happen in the past too 💐.

I hope you do get your caesarean!

I’ve not read the full post so hope I’m not repeating here but have you been tested for Von willibrands blood disorder?? It’s a blood clotting problem that’s often undiagnosed. A friend suffered a massive haemorrhage during both her births previously and it was eventually diagnosed!

Hope all goes well for you. 💐

OP should probably get hers with all her issues but I don’t think it’s wrong that it be made difficult to get one - it shouldn’t be a given just because a woman wants one. Consultants do have a broader view of the issues.

Providing the woman understands the potential risks, what’s the problem? Your hysterectomy example, providing someone knows that’s a possibility I think it’s up to her.

I’m very sorry about your DS and the issues you have now.

Thank you - what I mean is that when you’re in the thick of it, it can be difficult to fully understand those risks. Especially true when they can be risks far off in the distance. When we’re pregnant, it’s all about the birth, survival or how damaged we will or won’t be.

It’s the consultants job to evaluate all the issues and try to ensure the best outcome. My point is that sometimes that may mean telling women what they don’t want to hear. I honestly don’t believe that consultants are sitting in their ivory towers simply refusing caesareans because they personally don’t agree - although when I was furiously pushing for my own that is exactly the kind of thing I thought. Many conversations with other medical professionals have confirmed that when you have an operation on the uterus you risk further problems.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t be allowed electives - simply that we’re not always open to really hearing about the issues when it’s our body/pregnancy and that’s why it needs to be a long drawn out conversation before agreement.

The OP is complaining about the hoops she’s jumping through - my point is that the hoops are a good thing overall.