DS is turning 4 soon and I’m planning on taking him and DD8 to Legoland on his actual birthday.
Ex and I split up when DS was only a few months old but have an amicable relationship and would go as far as to say we’re friends these days.
My issue is I often end up doing things on my own with my DC and when it comes to rides my DD often has to go on her own as there’s 3 of us and I usually have to go on rides with DS as he’s younger (rides often stipulate younger kids must be accompanied by an adult). I feel sorry for DD because she misses out a bit because of this.
Been with DP for 3 years and ideally would love him to come... but he has 2 DCs, eldest is 13 and wouldn’t be interested in coming but I know my DP wouldn’t come on a day out like this with us without inviting his 9yo DD which means again an odd number of people.
Also if I’m honest I want the day to be just my DCs as his DD tends to take over and I want there to be a happy fun atmosphere for DS’s birthday - there’s some minor conflict/competitiveness between her and DD8 at the moment, it’s generally ok but I don’t want any fallings out or drama for DS on his birthday trip. We do so much together with her so she’s never excluded from our days out, however she does things on her own with her mum and I don’t feel obligated to invite her whenever I do things with my children as they deserve some one on one time with me too.
So that inevitably rules out DP from coming.
Anyway... I thought maybe DS’s dad would like to come with us? We are doing a joint birthday party for DS this year at a soft play and thought it might be nice for Ex to enjoy the day out with our son also.
DP is really not happy about this as he thinks it’s weird... him and his Ex don’t communicate at all so he finds the friendliness between myself and DS’s dad uncomfortable. But I find it weird that he has no relationship with the mother of his children whatsoever, no talking/texts - nothing (her doing, not his tbf). I understand that he finds it odd but we are genuinely just trying our best to muddle through and co-parent happily. He doesn’t object to us going together at all but he obviously wouldn’t come without his DD9.
AIBU to ask Ex to come with us in this situation? I think DS would really enjoy it and it means my DD would also have company on the rides/not have to ride any bigger rides alone whilst I wait with DS.