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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Broken my veganism today

600 replies

Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 21:12

And had to tell someone!

I’ve been a vegan for a few years - for environmental reasons and the argument that it’s much more possible to feed the world when we eat a plant based diet. It’s genuinely been a sacrifice as I love eating meat and fish and dairy - but I’ve done it. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of giving myself a secret day off. Just one day, then back to it. That day was today. So I’ve eaten...

A buttery cheese croissant for breakfast
Rare steak with beef dripping chips and creamed spinach for lunch
A chicken thigh pita with halloumi cheese, caramelised onions, and garlic aoli for dinner.

It’s all been epic. And totally secret. I’m back on the straight and narrow vegan route again tomorrow and will look forward to my next cheat day in a few years time. But I just had to share.

(I know I’ve posted in AIBU - so, was I unreasonable?)

OP posts:
Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 22:26

would you really call someone who has had one cheat day in 3.5 years of strict veganism a flexitarian?? For goodness sake. This is why everyone hates vegans. Yes language matters. Which is why I call myself a vegan. Because I am. I don’t generally go around eating steak and cheese. I took one day. One.

OP posts:
Shambu · 15/08/2018 22:27

I don't really see the point of this OP. If you love meat and dairy then eat it. Your self denial makes fuck all difference to the planet. If we were in an apocalypse I would say different.

I'm not veggie although I don't eat very much meat. I love vegetables and I happen to dislike red meat, eggs and dairy. I particularly hate steak and sausages.

But if I did like them I would eat them.

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/08/2018 22:27

I'm not saying veganism us a religion.

I'm comparing the fact that someone who has one bad day is now longer a vegan.

Is someone who has a doubtful day no longer a Christian?

Is someone who as a teen tries lager no longer a Muslim?

Tolerance and acceptance. Far greater a virtue than sneering judgment of the failure of others.

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 22:28

Will you gatekeepers consider me a vegan tomorrow when I go back on the straight and narrow? Genuine question

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2018 22:28

No. Lot's wrong with giving it a wanky name like flexitarian though. The rest of us just call it "eating"

Grin
YouCanCallMeNancy · 15/08/2018 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 22:30

Shambu maybe it doesn’t make a difference. But I believe it’s right, and I believe that we should use the limited power we have as individuals to change what we can and make whatever small difference we can. I do what I can and live how I believe in my little corner.

OP posts:
HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 22:30

When did we get so intolerant, so judgemental?

Speak yourself, most of us are neither. We just accurately use particular words to mean what they actually mean, and not the opposite of what they mean.
Is that so strange to you?

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 22:31

We might not be able to change the world but we can change the choices that we make as individuals. That’s all we can do

OP posts:
NordicNobody · 15/08/2018 22:31

I think this is a good idea OP! I've been thinks of going vegan (currently vegetarian) but never taken the leap as I love cheese so damn much and didn't think I could give it up for ever . But you're right, it doesn't have to be so extreme. What's wrong with just doing your best? Nothing! I could totally get on board with eating a vegan diet 5/6 days a week and getting my cheese fix on Sunday. It wouldn't be perfect, but it'd be better than not doing it at all. Veganism - or maybe just it's critics - suffers massively from a "perfect being the enemy of good" mentality. Which is why it's nice seeing people stick up for you on this thread, when most threads about going vegan are thick with people saying things like "but what about the poor working conditions of the soya bean farmers" or "you'd better have never ever stepped on a beetle by accident". I applaude your efforts, and feel inspired to try and up my own number of vegan diet days.

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 22:31

But I believe it’s right, and I believe that we should use the limited power we have as individuals to change what we can and make whatever small difference we can. I do what I can and live how I believe in my little corner

But you don't believe it quite enough, do you?

Shockers · 15/08/2018 22:32

Do you know what- you are doing more than most vegetarians for animal welfare.

I miss the taste of meat. I miss the taste of pig the most, yet it was the thought of beautiful, intelligent pigs that turned me veggie.

I’m working on veganism, and if I ever slip up, I hope that I don’t meet any of the judgemental twunts on this thread.

We do what we can, and if everyone made even half the effort of the OP, there would be an huge reduction in slaughter.

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/08/2018 22:32

Exactly. Your intentions are amazing, you fight every day.

Don't feel shitty because there's judgy knobbers on here who are holier than thou.

If it makes you feel better, I washed a spider down the plug today cos I couldn't bear picking it out the bath, it was huge, and it from OUT OF MY BATH TOWEL.

I'm normally the first to advocate taking critters outside. Not today.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2018 22:33

But you're right, it doesn't have to be so extreme. What's wrong with just doing your best?

Absolutely nothing at all, just don’t call yourself avegan if you occasionally eat beef.

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 22:33

hotblack genuine question. When I go back to my vegan diet tomorrow with no plans to cheat or change my mind, will you find it acceptable for me to call myself a vegan?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 15/08/2018 22:33

I have a lot of vegan food, but I'm not vegan. But I can't eat dairy, eggs or soya. So I cook a vegan recipe, and sub meat in for the inevitable soya based protein. Grin

I ordered a meaty pizza with vegan cheese at a restaurant the other day. That confused the waiter.

OP well done for your 3.5 years, I hope you enjoyed your chest day. God, I miss cheese. I'm very jealous.

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 22:35

But you're right, it doesn't have to be so extreme. What's wrong with just doing your best? Nothing! I could totally get on board with eating a vegan diet 5/6 days a week and getting my cheese fix on Sunday.

Nothing at all wrong with that. Not a thing, absolutely fine and great and well done you.
As long as you don't go around telling people you're a vegan.

Botanicbaby · 15/08/2018 22:35

A vegan who eats rare steak? I’ve heard it all now. What’s with all this ‘cheat day’ bollocks too?

You’re either vegan or you’re not. You stuck to it for 3 years, good for you. You may want to think about what made you spectacularly fall off the wagon? You might as well have said you’d slaughtered the cow and chicken with your bare hands. I’d be questioning whether I really wanted to be a vegan or not after this? That’s a bloody huge leap to take. It’s hypocritical to say you’ve done your bit for the planet or whatever reason you had for being vegan then to chomp down on a rare steak as that’s “okay” as you’ve chalked up ‘vegan brownie points’!

Your stomach produces certain enzymes that make it easy to digest animal fat. That’s why most people who have abstained eating animal produce for a good length of time find it hard to digest as their stomachs haven’t had to produce these enzymes for a while.
Agree with PP, you’re no vegan. It’s not something you can take a ‘day off’ from if you’re serious about it. For those who say it puts them off being vegan, well boo boo maybe jump off the bandwagon as it sounds like it ain’t for you. No wonder people who take it seriously get fucked off with wannabe “vegans”. I hope this thread is a wind up as I despair if people are really ok with this.

Canshopwillshop · 15/08/2018 22:36

@shepstepmother - why do you need so much external validation of your veganism? Asking if the gatekeepers will still consider you a vegan to tomorrow - do you really care? Surely it’s a personal decision based on your own beliefs.

AlpacaLypse · 15/08/2018 22:36

I've just read this thread and realised somewhat to my own surprise that I've had a vegan day. Tomorrow won't be, there's a set of ribeye Aberdeen Angus 28 days matured steaks in fridge ready. Choosing to go high welfare standard for what meat/eggs/dairy I do buy, for meals about 2 days out of 7, has paid off. I feel brilliant, so does DP, and so does DD and AlpacaCat.

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 22:36

genuine question. When I go back to my vegan diet tomorrow with no plans to cheat or change my mind, will you find it acceptable for me to call myself a vegan?

genuine question, do you seriously think you can call yourself a vegan tomorrow with dead chicken and cow carcass still in your colon?

twiglet · 15/08/2018 22:38

I would still consider you to be a vegan you just had a meatlapse the vegan/vegetarian version of a relapse!

I was vegetarian for 9 years and technically now pescatarian for 12 years so no meat in 21 years. But I'm pregnant and my biggest craving has been meat so I've been eating it for 2 weeks so far! I stopped eating it originally because I hated the texture and taste so it really is a craving for me.

Will I go back to being pescatarian after pregnancy?! Probably as said I didn't like the taste or texture! I will still be a pescatarian if I go back just with a gap in between!

blorgzorb · 15/08/2018 22:38

I'm vegan (and don't cheat Wink) but honestly I don't think this is a big deal. Animals taste delicious, poor things. You will have saved so many lives through years of veganism, a cheat day is but a drop in the ocean.
I don't think I could do what you're able to do, animal products gross me out too much but I do crave anchovies on my pizza sometimes. Ooh or calamari!
Keep fighting the good fight.

RachelAnneJ · 15/08/2018 22:38

Oh my goodness. I'm glad you enjoyed your day off OP. I consider you to be a vegan, just as I still consider my GP to be my Doctor when he's had a fortnights holiday!

I have a vegetarian friend who eats chicken on Christmas Day. She is still a vegetarian in my world, she would refuse meat or fish any other day of the year.

I have no idea why people are being so uptight about what you can label yourself as! I think it is an amazing achievement to follow a vegan diet when you obviously miss the foods you are unable to eat.

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 22:40

I didnt fall off the wagon. I chose to step off the wagon for one day only.

I find it really interesting that there seems to be a hierarchy of cheating. Yes I had steak because I love steak. Yes it was rare. I’m not squeamish over meat and blood. Would I have cheated less if I’d had a glass of milk? My reasons for being vegan are clearly stated and a dislike of meat is not one of them.

@HotblackDesiatoto I’d really like you to answer my question (apologies if we’ve cross posted!) When I go back to being a vegan tomorrow, can I call myself that. If not, why not.

OP posts: