Broken my veganism today

[Stepstepmother]

And had to tell someone!

I’ve been a vegan for a few years - for environmental reasons and the argument that it’s much more possible to feed the world when we eat a plant based diet. It’s genuinely been a sacrifice as I love eating meat and fish and dairy - but I’ve done it. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of giving myself a secret day off. Just one day, then back to it. That day was today. So I’ve eaten...

A buttery cheese croissant for breakfast
Rare steak with beef dripping chips and creamed spinach for lunch
A chicken thigh pita with halloumi cheese, caramelised onions, and garlic aoli for dinner.

It’s all been epic. And totally secret. I’m back on the straight and narrow vegan route again tomorrow and will look forward to my next cheat day in a few years time. But I just had to share.

(I know I’ve posted in AIBU - so, was I unreasonable?)

Well done OP. Your brave to post on here about your day off.

It’s fine- don’t believe anyone who is saying that you can’t be a vegan anymore. You can pick up where you left off.

YNBU for having a day off veganism.

YBU for still calling yourself a vegan (sorry).

I've been a vegan for about 30 years and haven't had cheat days, but that's only because I've found it easy: I started it because of the animal cruelty, have always had other vegans around to support me and have never been bothered about eating meat or dairy.

I think that what you've been doing for the last few years has been more impressive, because it's been more difficult for you.

Environmental considerations are really good reasons for going vegan but because it's a decision made more with the head than the heart I should imagine that it's harder to stick with (because I did it for animals I respond more emotionally so it's easy to stay vegan).

You said that being vegan is a sacrifice for you, because you love meat, fish and dairy. I genuinely admire you for making that sacrifice. And all those vegan days that you have had and will have in the future will really help the planet.

There's nothing wrong with having had a cheat day and I don't see the need to wait a few years before your next one. You could make it an annual treat - it might make it easier to keep going for the rest of the year.

BUT - and sorry, but you did post this in AIBU - I don't see that you can call yourself a vegan if you are going to have days where you decide to not eat vegan. It's like saying you're a Christian/Muslim/Hindu except for the one day a year when you don't believe in God. I know that analogy plays into the hands of anti-vegans who accuse "extreme" vegans of treating it like a religion, but I couldn't think of a better one.

Couldn't you say that you follow a vegan/plant based diet without actually labeling yourself a vegan?

If no one ate animals, I'm not sure there would be enough space to grow enough plant food for the whole human population

The space we use to grow plants to feed the cattle and other animals we eat is much, much bigger than the space we use to grow plants for non-animal-eaters. Cows eat a LOT.

If everyone went vegan overnight, a lot more land would be used for growing various vegetables, but a LOT less land would be used overall.

What I've never understood is why vegetarians would want to eat food designed to look like meat
Because some vegetarians like meat but don’t eat it for ethical or dietary reasons, so enjoy a reasonable vegetarian substitute and can cook vegetarian versions of meals they’ve previously enjoyed....it’s not really rocket science.

Not a vegan though

Ooooh im surprised you went for steak tbh - I’ve gone vegan (health and environment) and really gone off the smell of red meat. I tasted a bit of curry dh had lamb in it and it tasted claggy!

It’s fish I missed. Spicy salmon pitta ooooosh !

I’m sure I saw a campaign recently aiming to get people to see that they can have vegan days / vegan meals and they don’t have to go fully vegan 100% of the time. If everyone did what you’re doing OP, the world would be a better place (says me, who’s probably never had a vegan day in her life, save for days where I haven’t eaten).

Are we actually saying that? Have people got to the point of such narrow-mindedness that nobody can err from the narrow path without being CAST OUT of the cult of the most virtuous FOR EVER

NO, you have so completely got that wrong, its hilarious. Nobody actually gives a fuck what anyone else eats. Well maybe the occasional oddball, bit not really. Its the fact that we all use language to communicate and things have an agreed meaning, and when you proclaim to the world that you are a strict vegan who is doing good things for the planet but you reserve the right to eat steak and cheese: you are making yourself a figure of mockery. Because the words you are using to make yourself feel superior do not mean what you are claiming them as.
There are people on this thread claiming you can be a vegan and sometimes eat meat. And you are idiotic and we will laugh at you!

It's ok @Stepstepmother
My carnivore family had homemade bread toast and peanut butter, jam or avocado for breakfast

Humus & carrot sandwiches and crudités for lunch

Pasta and "green sauce" (pure green veg) for supper. With fruit

Which I have just realised is a fully vegan day.

We've canceled you out! 😉

Yanbu
I am “vegan” but give myself a day a week to relax it, often I don’t break it but if I’ve been dreaming of a bar of dairy milk or whatever I feel like I can have it in 2/3 days time!
You do more than most

Are people actually saying someone who had a crisis of faith every so often couldn't call themselves Christian, Hindu or whatever?!

Even Jesus had doubts....

Blimey.

Even Jesus had doubts....

Did he? Where?

There are a number of v compelling arguments that suggest that strict veganism is not best for the planet at all. This article sums them up - essentially, not all land is arable and grazing animals makes use of land that would otherwise not be usable for food production. This is most relevant in the developing world, but there are arguments in Europe too (thinking for instance about the kind of land that most sheep are grazed on). www.theguardian.com/global-development/2016/aug/16/veganism-not-key-sustainable-development-natural-resources-jimmy-smith

Essentially, OP, I reckon your kind of ethical veganism could v easily make room for, for instance, some wild bunnies or other game, or some eggs or chickens from a v small local farm.

Mega blow out op! Well done for going straight back to it.

I'm vegan but I have milk in my tea and a tiny bit of cheese on my toast

For three and a half years I’ve been strictly vegan. Checking every label, questioning every restaurant. I had one day off. One. Tomorrow I’ll be back to my strict ways of the past 3.5 year, for many years to come. That’s surely not exactly the same as someone trying to eat less meat and having a couple of vegan meals a week. I feel I’ve earnt the label. I’ve put the work in. I took a day off.

It’s not a religion. But to use that analogy, I haven’t decided not to believe in God for a day. I’ve decided, as a Christian, to do something God disapproves of. And I’ll be asking his forgiveness at breakfast tomorrow.

Ignore the pedants who are demanding you renounce your claim to the term vegan. We all have our line in the sand. I don’t eat meat so I tell people I’m vegetarian because if they are cooking for me that’s what I eat. However I wear leather and I don’t check the labels of every bit of cheese/wine etc. I also have never known a vegan to not cheat in 3.5 years so well done OP I wish I could be vegan but it’s too hard.

Yeah that's what we do; meat or fish four days a week, veggie or vegan the rest. It helps that half the family are lactose intolerant so we don't routinely have dairy based food anyway.

We are too selfish to completely abandon meat but every little helps.

Nothing wrong with being a flexitarian.....

I am “vegan” but give myself a day a week to relax it, often I don’t break it but if I’ve been dreaming of a bar of dairy milk or whatever I feel like I can have it in 2/3 days time!

So you're not a vegan, in other words?

Are people actually saying someone who had a crisis of faith every so often couldn't call themselves Christian, Hindu or whatever?!

No, no-one is saying that. Nothing like it. Veganism is not a religion, and if you are confusing it with one, that might be wear you are going wrong.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34

Jesus Christ, Atheist

"My god, what hast thou forsaken me?"

Be merciful to those who doubt” (Jude 1:22).

When did we get so intolerant, so judgemental?

Tomorrow OP will be a vegan again though, won't she?

I'm a pescatarian and lactose free. If I wanted to have a chicken sandwich one day then I would but I don't. It doesn't matter OP. It's only cheating yrself if that's how you feel. No one else cares what you eat. It's yr life eat or don't eat what you want. It's like being on a diet and then having a biscuit but not enjoying it. What's the point? Just do what you want and don't justify it. It's yr conscience.

Nothing wrong with being a flexitarian

No. Lot's wrong with giving it a wanky name like flexitarian though. The rest of us just call it "eating"