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AIBU?

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Original poster

Broken my veganism today

600 replies

Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 21:12

And had to tell someone!

I’ve been a vegan for a few years - for environmental reasons and the argument that it’s much more possible to feed the world when we eat a plant based diet. It’s genuinely been a sacrifice as I love eating meat and fish and dairy - but I’ve done it. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of giving myself a secret day off. Just one day, then back to it. That day was today. So I’ve eaten...

A buttery cheese croissant for breakfast
Rare steak with beef dripping chips and creamed spinach for lunch
A chicken thigh pita with halloumi cheese, caramelised onions, and garlic aoli for dinner.

It’s all been epic. And totally secret. I’m back on the straight and narrow vegan route again tomorrow and will look forward to my next cheat day in a few years time. But I just had to share.

(I know I’ve posted in AIBU - so, was I unreasonable?)

OP posts:
woollyheart · 16/08/2018 08:37

Given the OP’s reasons for following vegan practices, the OP has achieved a lot. It is possible to aspire to a lifestyle but not be able to achieve it 100% in practice. Maybe vegans should consider the option of adopting the confession - it sounds a bit like a religion to me. That would mean you had a way of dealing with your poor fallen brethren without ex-communicating them.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/08/2018 08:39

I think there is a difference between being a vegan and following a vegan diet

I think you’ve summed it up.

You’re not vegan, OP, but if you’ve spent years following a diet you find really hard to stick to, just set your bar a bit lower and ditch the vegan label.

SpaceDinosaur · 16/08/2018 08:40

This thread is bat shit hilarious!!!

The OP is clearly being flogged by the vegan police this morning before being turned out never to be allowed to return to the fold because her reasons for being vegan are not in the list of their approved.

Does she need an enema to remove the waste? Did I miss the resolution to the "colon of cow" saga?!!

The comments on this thread from the holier than thou vegans are horrendous. There's no support from other vegans, it's all been aggressive "well you're wrong" type shit. No "you're doing brilliantly" "it's ok, just get back on it tomorrow"...that's come from the omnivores ffs.

I'm a breastfeeding peer supporter. The number of mothers who lament about how they "fed their first" or that they're "currently topping up" or are nursing as well as using formula... I'm a BFing woman. Do I tell others that they're "wrong"? Good god no! I support them as best I can, share information and most of all, encouragement.

Militant vegans, constantly "being right" doesn't endear you to people. You've got to be kind too.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/08/2018 08:41

The OP is clearly being flogged by the vegan police this morning before being turned out never to be allowed to return to the fold because her reasons for being vegan are not in the list of their approved.

Yeah, that’s definitely happened on this thread Hmm

CookiesandQueen · 16/08/2018 08:42

You're eating far less meat and dairy than most, so you're doing more than enough. I'd keep saying you're vegan so people don't try to force you to eat other non-vegan foods. Don't feel bad, 3.5 years of veganism is impressive and one day off is no big deal.

Perhaps if other vegans were less judgemental more people would be interested in at least trying veganism, without the fear of being flamed for the occasional slip up!

Sandsnake · 16/08/2018 08:50

I think you’re doing amazingly, OP. To really enjoy meat and dairy and not consume it for environmental reasons is very noble. I think there’s no issue at all with being flexible every now and again as it’s not like you have an iron cast principle that eating animal products is completely morally wrong. If anything, I think you could allow yourself more flexibility- but that’s obviously up to you!

I agree that following a mostly vegan diet would be far better for the environment. Like you I enjoy meat products, but unlike you I’m not willing to go without them, hence the massive respect. I have tried to cut down though. I actually think that following a vegan diet must be much harder for you - as someone who would happily eat meat products but chooses not to - than a die hard ‘colon full of cow’ type vegan.

Keep doing what you’re doing and enjoy your next ‘cheat day’!Wink

StrawberrySquash · 16/08/2018 08:53

Can't be doing with the judgementalism. You eat vegan food the vast majority of the time. I think not being too rigid about the purity aspect is psychologically healthy. It's not like you had a day off from 'not being a murderer', is it? Far better to see it as like eating a healthy diet, something you mostly do, with occasional treats.

Roussette · 16/08/2018 08:57

OP You're not changing the world, no vegan is...
Life is too short. Well done for being a vegan for moral reasons but for god's sake, you have one life, live it. You loved your steak, your cheese croissant... just have lots of cheat days and live life to the full. You'll blink one day and think, bloody hell I'm now 84 and I want to eat what I want to eat, I miss treats like steak, I've done this for decades and I now want to indulge myself. Because that's what you did... you indulged yourself. Everyone should do that when it suits them.

Veganism is like a religious cult I wouldn't want to be part of.

JayDot500 · 16/08/2018 09:02

Gheez, the vegans here are like Jehovah Witness elders who patrol the internet trying to catch out the dissenters. What good will it do for the cause if someone who has sacrificed plenty is told she now doesn't belong to the club?

SuburbanRhonda · 16/08/2018 09:05

What good will it do for the cause if someone who has sacrificed plenty is told she now doesn't belong to the club?

Where are the posts that say this? I must have missed them.

JayDot500 · 16/08/2018 09:10

Oh, you missed the ones where she's told she's not vegan? The ones that start from the very first page. Strange Hmm

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 16/08/2018 09:12

So I’m not feeling great today - but I’m back on the vegan wagon and all the more determined to keep going!

It is really interesting that I’ve had far more support on this thread from omnivores rather than vegans and vegetarians.

OP posts:
Roussette · 16/08/2018 09:15

It is really interesting that I’ve had far more support on this thread from omnivores rather than vegans and vegetarians

That just about sums it up.

I don't give a fig what anyone eats. Do what you want but stop labelling people and the OP who has selflessly been vegan for years is now told she isn't one. This is why I wouldn't entertain going down that route in any way shape or form. Ridiculous.

Just be yourself OP and well done on being a vegan. I couldn't do it.

MLMLM · 16/08/2018 09:22

OP even though I'm quite surprised you still fancy cooking and eating those things I completely agree that absolutism / sanctimony puts people off even trying to adopt a diet that's better for the environment.

I have to say I'm vegan even though I'm not because if I admit to eating eggs from my friend's chickens or a pig from my uncle's smallholding once in a blue moon (when that's all on offer) I'm expected to eat shitty factory farmed chicken from Tesco by various friends and relatives.

royalton · 16/08/2018 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MLMLM · 16/08/2018 09:27

It seems really hypocritical to expect people to cater for your diet when you are happy to ignore it on a whim for your own convenience and enjoyment.

This completely ignores what the OP is trying to do, which is have less of an impact on the planet by not eating animal products 99.99% of the time.

Come back when you've gone 1000+ consecutive days doing something positive for the planet that inconveniences you and yes, perhaps others, but mostly you.

SoupDragon · 16/08/2018 09:28

It is really interesting that I’ve had far more support on this thread from omnivores rather than vegans and vegetarians.

That’s because the omnivores don’t give a shit and don’t hold the same ideals as the vegans or vegetarians. I don’t think it’s at all surprising, you’ve basically upheld their view that animal products are wonderful.

LeftRightCentre · 16/08/2018 09:29

you’ve basically upheld their view that animal products are wonderful.

Because they are! Mmm, bacon, steak, chicken, sausage.

frogsoup · 16/08/2018 09:32

By the by, OP have you read animal vegetable mineral by Barbara Kingsolver? It's a fantastic account of her year eating locally and home-produced food, and has some interesting musings on veganism. She writes beautifully. I also really liked Michael Pollan The omnivores dilemma, on the same theme. Both life-altering reads for me.

The sanctimony on this thread is absolutely jaw-dropping. Just when I think MN can't get any worse on that front, a thread comes along that just blows me away. Incidentally, you vegans who worry about the stench of fear when animals die, you do know that the combine harvesters that harvest your corn don't give mice, rabbits, birds and suchlike a quick and clean end, right? ALL our food choices involve killing animals, some of you are just more in denial about it than the rest of us. (This is for the awk, poor fluffy animals school of sanctimonious tossers vegans btw).

SoupDragon · 16/08/2018 09:35

This completely ignores what the OP is trying to do, which is have less of an impact on the planet by not eating animal products 99.99% of the time.

Because it’s not relevant.

*Come back when you've gone 1000+ consecutive days doing something positive for the planet that inconveniences you and yes, perhaps others, but mostly you^

Why?

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 16/08/2018 09:36

I think I’m going to step away from this thread now as I just seem to be repeating the same things over and over to people who are never going to agree with what I’m saying. I don’t have quite enough emotional energy to do that!

Thanks to those that have been supportive even when they disagreed with me. There’s definitely been some interesting conversation!

OP posts:
frogsoup · 16/08/2018 09:36

SoupDragon yep I don't give a shit. That's why I drag myself to the local farmers market at 8am every Saturday to avoid supermarket shopping, grow our own vegetables and don't buy imported out of season veg. But clearly vegans scoffing their daily air-freighted avocado all have more morals than me Hmm

Blackteadrinker77 · 16/08/2018 09:39

Perhaps it's a matter of longevity, but having been vegetarian for 30 years (for moral reasons)

Which moral reason could you have for being vegetarian?

Genuinely curious

Perfectly1mperfect · 16/08/2018 09:43

I have to say I'm vegan even though I'm not because if I admit to eating eggs from my friend's chickens or a pig from my uncle's smallholding once in a blue moon (when that's all on offer) I'm expected to eat shitty factory farmed chicken from Tesco by various friends and relatives.

You could just say you only eat ethically farmed food, instead of having to lie. True friends would respect this and not expect you to eat cheap meat. I don't eat meat. My children and partner do, but they know that I will only buy good quality meat and eggs.

Jeanclaudejackety · 16/08/2018 09:46

I am a nice person when people deserve it. Can't be doing be sanctimonious tossers and believe me I know plenty of people like rosiejaune in real life who need telling straight.

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