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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Broken my veganism today

600 replies

Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 21:12

And had to tell someone!

I’ve been a vegan for a few years - for environmental reasons and the argument that it’s much more possible to feed the world when we eat a plant based diet. It’s genuinely been a sacrifice as I love eating meat and fish and dairy - but I’ve done it. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of giving myself a secret day off. Just one day, then back to it. That day was today. So I’ve eaten...

A buttery cheese croissant for breakfast
Rare steak with beef dripping chips and creamed spinach for lunch
A chicken thigh pita with halloumi cheese, caramelised onions, and garlic aoli for dinner.

It’s all been epic. And totally secret. I’m back on the straight and narrow vegan route again tomorrow and will look forward to my next cheat day in a few years time. But I just had to share.

(I know I’ve posted in AIBU - so, was I unreasonable?)

OP posts:
ImAIdoot · 15/08/2018 23:54

A word to the wise OP - I don't want to get into this argument on MN and I don't want to advocate against veganism but if environmental impact is your primary concern I suggest you research both the rate of GMO introduction into the natural environment and the impact on bee one-off of the most popular crops eaten by vegans, and decide whether you actually consider pounds of soya products an environmentally conscious replacement for pounds of meat, because if the environment is your only or primary concern, you may be surprised.

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 23:54

Can I call myself a non-smoker? I had a cigarette in 2016

You can. But would you call yourself a non smoker if you had 20 today? Which is the equivalent of the OP.

ImAIdoot · 15/08/2018 23:55

*Bee die-off

Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 23:55

@rosiejaune actually I completely disagree. You don’t get to tell people what they have to believe in order to become a ‘real vegan’

To use your example Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus etc who all become vegetarian for very different religious reasons are all still vegetarian. It doesn’t matter their reasoning. They are vegetarian.

OP posts:
Botanicbaby · 15/08/2018 23:55

Apologies in return, I get that if you are making a massive massive effort to stay vegan, people wanting to remove your right to use the term after one day in three years is pretty galling (and bonkers). Equally, I think you are effectively buying into the same zealotry by trying to be an extremely strict vegan

Eating steak and chicken isn’t what I’d call a massive effort to stay vegan. No-one is trying to remove someone’s “right” to call themselves vegan it’s simply that eating what the OP has eaten does not make them vegan. It’s insulting to vegans.
Great straw man you’ve included with the terms ‘zealotry’ and ‘strict’ veganism. By its very nature, veganism doesn’t include “cheat days” for the occasional steak craving. This isn’t to detract from any worthwhile choices the OP has or hasn’t made. If you’re looking for a label then perhaps flexitarian suits the OPs diet more. But OP seems to have a problem with not being able to use the term vegan which is really rather odd for someone who eats meat albeit on a rare (!) occasion.

ImAIdoot · 15/08/2018 23:56

You are a vegan from the moment you start eating exclusively vegan food until the moment you stop. If you start again, you are a vegan again.

Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 23:58

I’m sure it will really upset you all to know that tomorrow I will be going around describing myself as a vegan and eating vegan food!

I hope you don’t all lose too much sleep over this vegan imposter walking around, eating the food that you agree with and basically trying to do good!

OP posts:
YeahDefinitelyNameChanging · 15/08/2018 23:59

HotblackDesiatoto

Yeah I probably would if I had no plans to smoke again in the coming years. If I’d had 20 on that day in 2016, I’d have no problem calling myself a non-smoker now, nor in 2017 or the day after. Maybe on the day I’d have said “I’m usually a non-smoker” or “I’m a non-smoker but I’m making an exception today”.

Stepstepmother · 16/08/2018 00:00

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butterflysugarbaby · 16/08/2018 00:02

@HotBlackDesiatoto

She can call herself what she wants but its not difficult, we're not being arsey. If you eat non vegan food or drink you aren't a vegan. I can't see why people find this so outrageous. It's like the vegetarians who eat fish...nobody actually cares what you eat but you are not a vegetarian.

@BotanicBaby

A vegan who eats rare steak? I’ve heard it all now. What’s with all this ‘cheat day’ bollocks too?

You’re either vegan or you’re not. You stuck to it for 3 years, good for you. You may want to think about what made you spectacularly fall off the wagon? You might as well have said you’d slaughtered the cow and chicken with your bare hands. I’d be questioning whether I really wanted to be a vegan or not after this? That’s a bloody huge leap to take. It’s hypocritical to say you’ve done your bit for the planet or whatever reason you had for being vegan then to chomp down on a rare steak as that’s “okay” as you’ve chalked up ‘vegan brownie points’!

All of this. As a number of people have said (including a few vegans,) the OP is not a vegan. And it's an insult to genuine vegans to claim to be one. 'Cheat Days' my arse. Hmm

Nobody is being 'pedantic' or an 'arsehole' ... Quite simply, the OP is not a vegan. Anyone who thinks she is, is deluded.

NicknameMustbeBetween4and30Cha · 16/08/2018 00:03

It’s insulting to vegans

Why is it insulting?

Perfectly1mperfect · 16/08/2018 00:03

I’m sure it will really upset you all to know that tomorrow I will be going around describing myself as a vegan and eating vegan food!

😂 I am sure no one cares that much about what you choose to eat or if you go around lying because you want the attention that you think being a vegan gives you. I'm still not entirely clear what the point of the thread was.

PurpleDaisies · 16/08/2018 00:04

3.5 fucking years. Of super strict
veganism

Why do you keep waving this as a badge of honour? If you are choosing to eat meat for a fun day off, you’re not a vegan. End of.

Just describe yourself accurately.

I wonder if that will earn me a “fuck off” as well.

butterflysugarbaby · 16/08/2018 00:04

Nickname

Why is it insulting to vegans?

Are you fucking kidding me?

butterflysugarbaby · 16/08/2018 00:05

Well said @perfectly1 and @purpledaisies

rosiejaune · 16/08/2018 00:06

@Stepstepmother

Your example is completely irrelevant, it's not comparable in the slightest. Vegetarianism is not the same as veganism.

The Vegan Society (whose founders coined the term vegan, so if anyone gets to define it, they do) say: "Veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose."

It's very clearly a) not just a diet, but an entire philosophy/lifestyle, and b) motivated by caring about animal rights. Not the environment. Not health.

On the other hand, the Vegetarian Society defines a vegetarian as follows:
"A vegetarian is someone who lives on a diet of grains, pulses, legumes, nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruits, fungi, algae, yeast and/or some other non-animal-based foods (e.g. salt) with, or without, dairy products, honey and/or eggs. A vegetarian does not eat foods that consist of, or have been produced with the aid of products consisting of or created from, any part of the body of a living or dead animal. This includes meat, poultry, fish, shellfish, insects, by-products of slaughter* or any food made with processing aids created from these."

It's solely a diet by that definition. Doesn't mention anything about motivation. Plenty of people who eat vegetarian wear leather (I used to, though now think I was a hypocrite). So yes, if some Hindus don't eat meat, they are vegetarian, regardless of how they feel about animals.

But you are not vegan, and never will be till you care about non-human animals.

ImAIdoot · 16/08/2018 00:06

OP didn't say she was in some state of being a vegan whilst tucking into a steak ffs. People are just looking for a reason to be arsey.

A vegan who falls off the wagon and goes back to normal afterwards isn't an insult to anyone. What a silly thing to say.

butterflysugarbaby · 16/08/2018 00:07

@imaldoot

You are a vegan from the moment you start eating exclusively vegan food until the moment you stop. If you start again, you are a vegan again.

Some people don't half try and convince themselves of things that are utter bollocks.

butterflysugarbaby · 16/08/2018 00:08

Good post @rosiejaune

lizzie1970a · 16/08/2018 00:08

That's not an answer Purpledaisies. I'll rephrase it:

Have the people that call themselves 'true' or 'real' vegans and believe they have the right to call themselves a vegan ever eaten meat or had dairy since the age of about 10? You avoided the question.

By what you're saying anyone that has ever had meat or dairy can't call themselves a vegan. I put the age of 10 as parents are usually in charge of food then so you're not autonomous and perhaps haven't come across the idea.

ImAIdoot · 16/08/2018 00:09

It's very clearly a) not just a diet, but an entire philosophy/lifestyle, and b) motivated by caring about animal rights. Not the environment. Not health.

Quasi-religious nonsense, and a vegan can clearly follow vegan diet without subscribing to it.

rainbowsandsmiles · 16/08/2018 00:09

Not RTFT, but you've been vegan for a few years, suddenly decided to have a "day off" and on that day gone full steak, cheese, and butter too (croissant)? Wouldn't want your stomach in the morning!

Stepstepmother · 16/08/2018 00:10

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ImAIdoot · 16/08/2018 00:10

Some people don't half try and convince themselves of things that are utter bollocks

Congratulations.

lizzie1970a · 16/08/2018 00:11

The Vegan Society says "there are many ways to embrace vegan living". I think you're covered Step.