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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Broken my veganism today

600 replies

Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 21:12

And had to tell someone!

I’ve been a vegan for a few years - for environmental reasons and the argument that it’s much more possible to feed the world when we eat a plant based diet. It’s genuinely been a sacrifice as I love eating meat and fish and dairy - but I’ve done it. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of giving myself a secret day off. Just one day, then back to it. That day was today. So I’ve eaten...

A buttery cheese croissant for breakfast
Rare steak with beef dripping chips and creamed spinach for lunch
A chicken thigh pita with halloumi cheese, caramelised onions, and garlic aoli for dinner.

It’s all been epic. And totally secret. I’m back on the straight and narrow vegan route again tomorrow and will look forward to my next cheat day in a few years time. But I just had to share.

(I know I’ve posted in AIBU - so, was I unreasonable?)

OP posts:
HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 23:43

Well OP you are just NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Well that's just mean. Why comment on her in this way? Or have you misunderstood the point of the thread and think anyone else has commented on her worth in anyway? Try again, and be nicer.

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 23:43

@botanicbaby you seem to have a real issue with the rare steak! What if i have said a milkshake? Would that provoke the same reaction?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2018 23:44

No, but neither are anyone else’s views on the standard of perfection required before you use the label.

So somebody that deliberately chooses to eat meat can be a vegan?

Perfectly1mperfect · 15/08/2018 23:44

What if I was vegan for 20 years, slipped for a day then went back to it. 30 year. 40. Would I still never have been vegan? Is my 3.5 years not enough? What would be enough? Or is it that I’m not sentimental enough about what I’ve done? That I’m taking a logical and rational approach?

Of course you would have been vegan. Until you ate non vegan food. Why do you need the label of vegan ? Just eat what you want. If you eat vegan most of the time, great. If not, that's fine too. But you don't get to call yourself vegan. The label shouldn't be important.

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 23:45

you seem to have a real issue with the rare steak! What if i have said a milkshake?

Lol. I'm starting to think you're trolling OP. I mean, why would anyone focus on the "vegan" eating a slab of bloody, half raw animal flesh? I can't imagine!
Funny!

lizzie1970a · 15/08/2018 23:46

Have the people calling themselves vegan on here ever eaten meat or had dairy since the age of about 10?

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/08/2018 23:46

Hotblack missing the sarcasm of my post based on all my others, and thr irony of telling people to be nice when saying OP "smells of beef".

Hmm
YouCanCallMeNancy · 15/08/2018 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/08/2018 23:47

Naughty vegan. I like it.

w4ytoomuch · 15/08/2018 23:48

I've just got one question

What the hell is a hairshirt???????

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 23:48

yeah, didn't miss it. More laughed at it!

YeahDefinitelyNameChanging · 15/08/2018 23:49

@PurpleDasies

For me, depending on the rareity of the occurrence, yes. I think it’d have to be once every X number of years, not days.

If the OP went another ten years without eating meat, do you think she could call herself a vegan then, or would she have to say ‘mostly vegan diet’ because of that one day in 2018?

DialsMavis · 15/08/2018 23:49

Is someone who has a drunken cigarette every 3 years a smoker?

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2018 23:49

Have the people calling themselves vegan on here ever eaten meat or had dairy since the age of about 10?’

No, but since deciding to become vegan they stopped choosing to eat meat for a fun day off.

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 23:50

Hotblack - I’m not trolling at all. But vegans have as much issue with the dairy industry as the meat industry - in some way so more as it is more exploitive and can cause more suffering to animals. But the rare steak gets the focus. Why? Because it’s more blatant, more explicit? It’s actually no less ethical.

To take the repeated alcohol analogy. If I was an alcoholic in recovery and had a lapse for one day. And then got straight back on my recovery programme and stayed sober. Would I not be allowed to call myself a recovering alcoholic because of my one day slip?

OP posts:
rosiejaune · 15/08/2018 23:50

@Stepstepmother

The issue is that veganism isn't just a diet, that you can "cheat" on. It's a commitment to not being speciesist. You've already said you don't care about AR. Thus you are not anti-speciesist. Thus you are not vegan.

What you have been doing is eating a plant-based diet [not a vegan diet] (until today). And because it is just a diet, you can "cheat" on it [though obviously I think you shouldn't, because nobody wants to die to please your tastebuds for a few minutes]. There already is an accurate term for your eating habits. Use it, instead of appropriating other terms.

There are some people who don't eat bacon. Some of those people are vegan, vegetarian, Jewish, Muslim. Some of them are none of those things and just don't eat bacon. Would you think it was OK for someone to call themselves Muslim [when they have never read the Quran, and don't accept Allah as their god] just to make sure nobody fed them a bacon sandwich?

I don't think that is OK (never mind accurate). And nor is it OK for you, who does not have any of the other trappings of veganism about you, to call yourself that just for eating a plant-based diet. There is a lot more to it than that.

DialsMavis · 15/08/2018 23:51

I would eat meat before I ate dairy....I think

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2018 23:51

Would I not be allowed to call myself a recovering alcoholic because of my one day slip?

Alcoholics almost always refer to themselves as just that, alocogolixs and they restart their recovery when they go back to drinking as if the previous time they were dry didn’t count.

HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 23:51

What the hell is a hairshirt???????
It's something religious people would wear, an undershirt literally made of hair that was purposefully scratchy and horribly uncomfortable to punish themselves. Same as sackcloth, worn by penitents and ascetics in the pursuit of bodily mortification.
Essentially now a phrase meaning you are being a martyr punishing yourself to feel virtuous and special.

pieceofpurplesky · 15/08/2018 23:52

Next film in The Purge series 'The Purge: Vegan's Eat meat'.

Seriously OP it's fine. You ate meat. You don't usually. The difference is that when I have my 'cheat day' a day every week where I eat vegan food (it's good for my diet) I don't post about it. Nobody cares.

PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2018 23:52

And I didn’t say alcoholic, I said teetotal. You can’t say you’re teetotal and choose to occasionally drink alcohol.m without people questioning the label you’ve given yourself.

Original poster
Stepstepmother · 15/08/2018 23:53

Yes. But they use the phrase ‘recovering alcoholic ‘ Can they not be recovering becythey slipped?

OP posts:
HotblackDesiatoto · 15/08/2018 23:53

Would I not be allowed to call myself a recovering alcoholic because of my one day slip?

You still don't get it. You couldn't call yourself a recovered alcoholic after a one day slip. You could call yourself an recovering, in the same way you can call yourself an attempted vegan, or someone who follows a mainly vegan diet.

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/08/2018 23:53

OP, maybe veganism isn't a club you want to be part of any more.

Just tell people you try not to eat meat and animal products where possible.

You clearly aren't virtuous enough to be part of the vegan club any more. You have been cast out. Ne'er to return.

YeahDefinitelyNameChanging · 15/08/2018 23:54

Can I call myself a non-smoker? I had a cigarette in 2016.