Email from school that I probably wasn't supposed to see - f**king livid!

[FidgetyFingers]

I requested a copy of DS2's (secondary) school record when he left there a few months ago. He has quite severe SN, NHS paediatrician diagnosed with his assessments taking place at this school.

Enclosed in the paperwork was an email from his form tutor, his form tutor for 4 years, to the inclusion manager, stating that I had been on the phone to her as I was very unhappy about detentions 'again' for minor transgressions in the scheme of things and 'that I expected special treatment for my son due to his 'SN'.

DS has severe learning difficulties with several other co morbid difficulties and never should have been in mainstream school anyway but there was no choice as I couldn't get him an EHCP.

I am so fucking angry as this proves they never took his SN seriously at all which they proved in the way they treated him!

I also found a copy of an email from said inclusion manager to all his teachers outlining DS's behaviour plan and stating that if he failed to get enough points, he would be excluded.

Same woman sat across from me in a meeting with the Board of Governors insisting that I must have been mistaken when I said that she'd told me this on the phone.

I am absolutely disgusted that such people exist and are in authority of vulnerable children .

AIBU?

A lot of parents getting accused of FII as well apparently ‘red flag’ conditions are Autism, EDS, pots, cfs

SN training for teachers is often non-existent or completely inadequate.

you do realise that we can be dealing with up to 50-60 forms of SN every single week, I hope

Basically if you have a child who has sn or unwelll If you ask for any help you are treated like you are being demanding

Marriedwithchildren5

What rubbish. Opinion doesn't always have to be supported by fact. According to whom?

Anyway, in this case, the OP has clearly stated she does want her DS not to have detention because of his SN, so the opinion is supported by fact, isn't it?

Basically, it says that autistic people cannot be expected to control their violence. The implications are teachers will not be expected to teach them because they cannot do safely, they will not be in classrooms with other children because it will be a safe guarding issue for other children, and ultimately they will be required to live out their adult lives in secure accommodation because they are dangerous

It absolutely does not and you have just made the rest of it up.

You clearly have a problem with the concept of “reasonable adjustments” which is legally required when a disability is present.

Tough shit. It’s the law.

In a work related email it does. I'm in a similar line of work. Opinions should always be supported by fact. you may well find that they do have facts.

We were sued recently, the mother was advised not to, but she went ahead anyway I felt very sorry for her, because she only really wanted the best for her child. Unfortunately the miracles she thought we should be capable of do not in reality exist.

she lost spectacularly, but what a huge waste of time and money for everybody. She doesn't work, so her time was cheap, but for the school, so many staff out, answering questions, writing statements, etc etc, so many hours, impacted on everybody.

She asked for a copy of the school records, and went for every single individual who's opinion she disagreed with, over the whole 4 years her daughter was with us - she lost on every single point.

Send photocopy of the emails to nord or governers and local paper.

It absolutely does not and you have just made the rest of it up.

it absolutely does, I'm afraid

Tough shit. It’s the law.

tough shit for who? not for me, I am not required to teach anyone who can legally hit me, my union backs me up 100% on that.

its tough shit on the autistic children who nobody is now legally required to accept into their classrooms, because there is a legal precendent been set that they are allowed to hit staff

Work related opinion. Surely you should have a reason for what you are putting forward? I could give my line manager/boss my opinion. In work I'd have to have my reasons for it. Outside not so much. Maybe that's my own work ethic though.

“Hear, hear” Anouk

I know full well that teachers can have a pretty regressive attitude to SN - being charitable however I'll point out the question 'how much allowance should we make for this child with SN who keeps breaking rules' is a very tricky one. There's really no formula for that.

It's possible that the form teacher felt too much leeway was being given and really they should be entitled to raise that with the inclusion lead as part of the schools approach to a child's behaviour. It's not automatically something I would seize on but obv I can't see the full picture. The exclusion plan sounds dodgy though.

Is the issue that he had the behaviours because the support didn't exist?

I'd be annoyed too but I agree you need to be clear what outcome you want from the information.

clairetree where did you get that I said I didn't expect DS to get special treatment? He certainly should have to accommodate his SN! How could anyone expect a 15 year old with SLDs and a developmental age of a primary school child to behave in the same way as any other 15 year old?

The inclusion manager lied as there was no basis for a permanent exclusion and she knew it. She wanted him out. Unless arriving to lessons late, being disorganised, distracted and not completing work or homework is a basis for exclusion when the school are well aware he has significant SN and wouldn't even assist in getting him an EHCP or even getting an Ed Psychologist in

It took 6 months of repeatedly being fobbed off to get his file, and I didn't get it until after he'd left! Too late to do anything now but I would have had grounds to take it to a disability discrimination tribunal and I wish I had .

Hedgehog I hope you hang them out to dry .

DS missed out on Prom. He wouldn't have been able to go due to the schools behaviour policy anyway. So upsetting to see all his peers posting pictures of themselves.

She doesn't work, so her time was cheap

A lot of sn parents CAN'T work. You're showing your ignorance in bucket loads.

If these children were adequately supported they wouldn't ever get to the point of schools even considering exclusion in the first place. But they're not and why we've got to this.

@yetalkshitehen "reasonable adjustments" is pretty vague tbh. When it comes to behaviour policy it's a right headache. I think it's more conceived of as a way to make sure students can use laptops and have extra time in exams rather than do to with sanctions. Sounds like the school in this case had a crap inclusion department mind you.

Schools do have a duty to make reasonable adjustments and consider Send when applying school policies.

For example my ds (asd/spd/CP) doesn't do too button up or tick in his shirt. He also occasionally wears trainers if his legs are bad.

The reasonable adjustment is to allow this and inform staff they aren't to force him to put his uniform 'properly'.
It's unreasonable to place in detention, send him home, put him in isolation for repeated uniform infraction.

In fact his initial school tried this and couldn't work out why the autistic child with spd didn't a) wear his uniform correctly (it's actually like a phobia) and b) though isolation was great 🙄 (quiet room, plain walls, no social contact 😂).

People don't 'get' things because they choose not to - not because they don't understand. It's possible to not be able to know what having spd feels like - but to dismiss the feelings people with it have is to say you don't believe. You can understand the explanation "labels are painful" or whatever.

It's the same re homework. A child with executive function or literacy difficulties should be supported to record homework. If they aren't (reasonable adjustment) then sanctions shouldn't be applied for lack or recording or completing.

It's not about wanting special treatment etc. It's about wanting your child have have a fair chance and be given the same starting point as their peers.

Your son is covered by equalities legislation. Can you afford a solicitor?

And how is a school with absolutely NO SPARE MONEY expected to give extra support to every child whose parents say they need it? I don't know of any school that does not do its absolute best to support every one of its pupils sometimes in very challenging circumstances. Having parents being so aggressive against them is shocking.
I cannot believe that a child has gone through the whole school system and not received an EHCP if there is an obvious need. That just doesn't happen. Reading between the lines, it sounds like the OP has requested an EHCP assessment, and the school have not provided the evidence the OP wanted in order for the EHCP to be given. That, again, only happens if the school believe the child does not meet the criteria.
The OP talks about her child having a developmental age of a primary school child. I read that to mean they know right from wrong, have self control, can read and write, make appropriate choices. I'm not convinced the OP actually understands what SLD means. This article gives a very succinct definition.
www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk/about-us/what-is-c-b/severe-learning-disabilities.html
OP, has your child been diagnosed with a disability? If so, by whom, and what was the diagnosis? A Paediatrician may diagnose ASD or ADHD, but that does not automatically mean that the child will get an EHCP.

The OP also said that she also found a copy of an email from said inclusion manager to all his teachers outlining DS's behaviour plan and stating that if he failed to get enough points, he would be excluded.
Have you thought that they could have written that to make sure the teachers understand their part in supporting the child so that this doesn't happen?

Schools are very aware of what they should be doing for every child in an ideal world, but unfortunately the state of education in this country is currently far from ideal due to year on year reductions in funding, increasing pupil admissions, decreasing funding for SEN along with a severe lack of specialist provision. Teachers are paid shit money and are treated like shit by too many children and their parents.
What would those of you who believe that you should not exclude a child who has ASD say to the parents of other children in their class when their child comes home yet again and tells them that little Johnny has stabbed them with scissors, or thrown chairs and tables at them, or bit the teachers, again? Because for some of us in mainstream classrooms, this is a daily occurrence. It is untenable.
By all means, OP, take those emails, shout from the rooftops about the inadequacy of the school your child attended, but before you really lose it, take a walk in our shoes for a day. See if you'd do any better.

Why didn’t he have a ECHP?

Tink88

Because no matter what the school/parent/doctor/associated groups do they are a pain in the arse to get once they go to county/LEA.

Tink because the system is a complete and utter joke. my 5 year old is developmentally at a 2 yr old level with severe ASD and starting reception in a mainstream school in a fortnight with NO ehcp. shouldn't have to fight but we do. It's sickening.

Bezm unfortunately it does happen
I thought the accounts of practice in some schools was being exaggerated by parents in send forums I'm in (I'm now ashamed to admit).
But it turns out some schools will resort to the most horrendous practice.

I'm lucky my ds is now in an excellent MS secondary with his EHCP (he apparently didn't need )

Regarding that judgement, out of interest, where would the victim, child or teacher, of an autistic child's aggression stand if that child is not considered culpable for his behaviour? And what about when the autistic child reaches adulthood? How does the law work if that child continues aggressive behaviour into adulthood? Would it not still be GBH or whatever if he broke someone's arm post the age of 16 for example? And what is the position of the school if an autistic child who is known to be aggressive goes on to harm another child?

Most schools don't even know what the criteria is.

“tough shit for who? not for me, I am not required to teach anyone who can legally hit me, my union backs me up 100% on that.”

Little tip for you then...

“Whom should be used to refer to the object of a verb or preposition. When in doubt, try this simple trick: If you can replace the word with “he”' or “'she,” use who. If you can replace it with “him” or “her,” use whom. Who should be used to refer to the subject of a sentence.”