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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Witnessed a car crash - should I have stopped?

96 replies

MrsMcW · 14/08/2018 18:53

More of a WWYD than AIBU, but...

I was on the motorway today and two cars just ahead of me crashed and went spinning into the barrier. I'm not sure what happened, but car 1 suddenly veered out of its lane and car 2 went into the back of him. The front of car 2 was pretty crumpled, but it looked like the passengers were OK.

I had my 4 month old baby in the car and needed to get home to feed him, so I kept driving. Another car did pull over to help. However, I've since seen on the local news that the motorway was closed for an hour and two people were blue lighted to hospital. I now have a terrible guilty conscience that I ought to have stopped, even with a hungry baby in the back seat.

What would you have done?

OP posts:
imsorryiasked · 14/08/2018 18:55

Well you couldn't have left your baby so I think you did the right thing in the circumstances. You do need to provide your details to the police as a witness though.

Confusedbeetle · 14/08/2018 18:56

Probably the same as you. It may be worth contacting the police to ask if they need any witnesses. Stress makes it difficult to make decisions. You may not have been able to do anything helpful and it is scary stopping on a motorway, you may have been at risk if you did

sonjadog · 14/08/2018 18:56

I would probably have pulled over if it were possible to do it safely. But you did make sure that someone else pulled over, so I don't think you need have a guilty conscience about not stopping.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 14/08/2018 18:57

Tricky on a motorway because stopping can be more dangerous for you and other drivers. If I could have stopped safely, I would have done, I think.

Coco2891 · 14/08/2018 18:57

I don't think you could have pulled over safely on a motorway with a baby in the back so don't sweat it - you could have caused another accident . But yes I'd ring police and tell them you saw it

Hercules12 · 14/08/2018 18:59

Not with a baby. You did the right thing. As others say put yourself forward as witness.

BishopBrennansArse · 14/08/2018 19:02

No you couldn't safely stop at the time but do contact the local police force as a witness ASAP

pilates · 14/08/2018 19:05

No you did the right thing but I would contact the police and tell them what you saw.

Nacreous · 14/08/2018 19:05

I have been in a similar situation on a big dual carriageway (but [key point] no baby) and did stop. It was really really scary and I thought the person was going to die and I didn’t know enough first aid to help them properly. As it turned out, once we had moved them away from their seatbelt they were able to start breathing shallowly. I still don’t know if they lived though they were alive when I left the scene.

Given someone else stopped, no harm was done; you saw someone else stopping. I guess the point of my above post was to say that even stopping doesn’t necessarily stop you being haunted by it, and it’s very unlikely you could have done more to help than those already stopped. We found a fair few people stopped when they realised our empty car with flashed on was on the side of the road (other cars were down an embankment through thick scrub). You can ring the police to be a witness.

Spaghettijumper · 14/08/2018 19:06

No way should you have stopped with a four month old baby in the car - you would have been a hindrance rather than a help. It would have been different on a quiet country road where you might have been the only person around to help but on motorway it doesn't make sense for drivers who can't be of practical help to stop - it only causes hassle.

dressesdressesdresses · 14/08/2018 19:07

Not with a baby

chuckiecheese · 14/08/2018 19:07

I would contact the police & say what you said here. Nothing to feel guilty about Thanks

Babyroobs · 14/08/2018 19:07

as others have said the police will need to speak to witnesses especially if people were injured. They like to do it asap so that you don't forger details. My son's friend was run over recently and my son witnessed it ( he died a few hours later). The police were on our doorstep for statements within a few hours.

TallTilly · 14/08/2018 19:08

I wouldn’t have stopped with my kids in the car. No way.

StrawberryFieldsWhenever · 14/08/2018 19:09

I don't drive, but in your situation with a small baby I wouldn't have stopped either. The idea about calling the police and offering yourself as a witness is a good one though.

holyrolypoly · 14/08/2018 19:10

No way with a baby. Too dangerous and you wouldn't have been able to help.

Furx · 14/08/2018 19:13

100% no way should you have stopped with a baby. Motorways are insanely dangerous if you are stationary. I’d only consider stopping if I was alone in the car and had hi vis, and probably not even then.

I think the police advise not stopping, but to phone the emergency services as soon as it is safe — either handsfree or pull off at the next exit.

eurochick · 14/08/2018 19:13

You were right not to stop. By the time you could have done so safely you would probably have been a mile down the road anyway. And you shouldn't stop on the hard shoulder except in emergencies. Plus you couldn't have done anything with the baby in tow.

But it is worthwhile contacting the police to say you witnessed it.

LifeBeginsNow · 14/08/2018 19:15

Husband worked for the Highways Agency and apparently you shouldn't stop. It is a horrible situation but best left to the experts.

SnowyAlps · 14/08/2018 19:17

Not with a baby. What would you have done? Left the baby in the car? No safe on a motorway. Took the baby out? No safe on a motorway. So you done the safe thing for your baby. But do provide a witness statement.

MrsPreston11 · 14/08/2018 19:17

With a baby or child in the car I think you 100% did the right thing not to stop.

It will play on your mind but someone else stopped so you being there wouldn’t have made any difference.

It does shake you up though. I saw a guy come off his bike recently. Had my youngest in the car and plenty of other witnesses too. So I didn’t stop.

But it does stay with you. X

HollyBollyBooBoo · 14/08/2018 19:19

I definitely wouldn't have stopped on the hard shoulder - so many people get ploughed into.

If I had hands free I would have called 999.

If I didn't I'd call the local police as a witness when I got to my destination .

mummyhaschangedhername · 14/08/2018 19:24

I probably wouldn't have stopped with children in the car. But what you can do is call the non emergency number and offer to be a witness. I witnessed an accident once, I didn't stop, but I did phone up and report it as a witness, there were loads of people who saw it but I was the only one who actually phoned up and it helped with their case.

Original poster
MrsMcW · 14/08/2018 19:31

Thank you everyone - feeling very relieved you think I did the right thing! And a good idea about phoning the police as a witness.

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 14/08/2018 19:32

Without realising it you did a dynamic risk assessment. You were on a motorway with your baby and other people had stopped so you kept going and that is fine.
As you witnessed the incident you could/should ring the police so they can take a statement if necessary.

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