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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Witnessed a car crash - should I have stopped?

96 replies

MrsMcW · 14/08/2018 18:53

More of a WWYD than AIBU, but...

I was on the motorway today and two cars just ahead of me crashed and went spinning into the barrier. I'm not sure what happened, but car 1 suddenly veered out of its lane and car 2 went into the back of him. The front of car 2 was pretty crumpled, but it looked like the passengers were OK.

I had my 4 month old baby in the car and needed to get home to feed him, so I kept driving. Another car did pull over to help. However, I've since seen on the local news that the motorway was closed for an hour and two people were blue lighted to hospital. I now have a terrible guilty conscience that I ought to have stopped, even with a hungry baby in the back seat.

What would you have done?

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/08/2018 11:52

”For people saying op should have called 999, be assured when something like this happens, lots of people call 999! Do let the police know you were a witness tho.”

Though far more the case now than pre-mobile phones, this is certainly not always true.

LostNAlone · 15/08/2018 11:55

You definitely did the right thing. If you didnt have your baby on board then maybe stop if safe to do so, but ultimately you have to look after yourself and baby first

Nicknacky · 15/08/2018 11:58

Would I fuck stop in these circumstances, similar happened to me a few weeks ago. I say that as a police officer and a trained first aider.

And as for the suggestion of using your car to protect the crash scene. Are you mad? Putting your own vehicle with your child in it in one of the most vulnerable positions would be madness.

DartmoorDoughnut · 15/08/2018 11:59

You 100% did the right thing OP but yes call 101 to tell them what you witnessed

namechange2pointoh · 15/08/2018 12:02

OP i would have done the same. You know that someone stopped. It's fine.

But someone way back said....

And you shouldn't stop on the hard shoulder except in emergencies.

If the situation the OP described isn't an emergency then WTF is

ItWasAlIADream · 15/08/2018 12:38

I don't blame you for not stopping but I'm shocked you didn't phone the police on 101 when you got back and offer yourself as a witness. You've thought about it enough to post on here but your couldn't be bothered to do that? Poor.

This!

eurochick · 15/08/2018 13:11

Namechange it was an emergency for those involved. It wasn't the OP's emergency. She shouldn't have stopped.

namechange2pointoh · 15/08/2018 13:14

Namechange it was an emergency for those involved. It wasn't the OP's emergency. She shouldn't have stopped.

You must have misread my post.

I never suggested she should have stopped. In fact I said I would have done the same.

The stopping only in an emergency thing I mentioned because it WAS an emergency. Not the emergency of the OP or any of the cars that did in fact stop, but it was an absolutely perfect example of when stopping in the hard shoulder is acceptable. To say otherwise is ridiculous.

RatRolyPoly · 15/08/2018 14:08

Look, as long as someone stopped, there's no problem whatsoever with you driving away. Because if everyone who ever saw an incident on the motorway pulled over to stick their ore in there would inevitably be far more victims as their cars ploughed into the many, totally unnecessary additional "helpful" stoppers.

That's the reality of the motorway; you only stop if it is absolutely necessary. If you're not directly helping, so either a trained first aider or the first/only one on the scene to stop, you're in the way, and you're putting other people at risk.

Youshallnotpass · 15/08/2018 14:11

Someone mentioned you have a duty of care. My primary duty of care would be to my baby, so no way would I have stopped in those circumstances.

You did the right thing

randomsabreuse · 15/08/2018 14:22

No way would I have stopped. Largely because of child in back making you less helpful but also because I lack useful skills/tools.

DH would stop. He has a car full of potentially useful things (sterile dressings, swabs etc) and an idea how to use them at least on non-humans - could be useful for a Dr at the scene who didn't have kit.

We did stop at a crash once. Fairly recent, carriageway barely moving so we pulled in after the accident and use was made of DH's window hammer to get people out of an overturned car that was starting to smoulder... well attended accident before the emergency services arrived officially was a lorry full of soldiers marshalled traffic to let the petrol tanker in the vicinity get away - classic bank holiday traffic so barely moving.

Normal circumstances before the road has stopped - no way, just call the non emergency number as a potential witness!

onholiday · 15/08/2018 14:23

OP- I had to go on a day course when I was speeding rather than getting points.
They showed lots of videos about safe driving and one of them was about a MASSIVE crash on the motorway resulting in carnage.
That showed how it escalated due to people stopping and then other cars going into them on the hard shoulder and the advice was not to stop but to drive to next devices etc to calm police etc.

You totally did the right thing not to stop at the time and as you saw others stop you didn't need to calm the police asap but agree that you should probably call now as you are a witness.

onholiday · 15/08/2018 14:25

Excuse typos! Drive to services and call police!

greendale17 · 15/08/2018 14:25

I wouldn’t have stopped on a motorway- baby or no baby. I would contact the police to tell them I witnessed the accident.

VivienScott · 15/08/2018 15:02

Similar happened to me once (small hungry smelly baby and a brand new puppy who had also just pooed) Called police and gave them a witness statement over the phone. They were grateful for info.

Booboostwo · 15/08/2018 15:22

I had a similar dilemma.

It was early evening so quite dark, the motorway was very quiet, I was driving a horse box and a motorbike overtook us fast, speeding a lot. A very short while later we saw the bike and the rider in the middle of the road. Two other cars were stopped trying to block the rider in the middle of the motorway. The whole thing happened on a bend and it was not safe to try to stop the horse box so we overtook quite slowly on the outside lane, then made our way to the hard shoulder and stopped.

We called 999 who said they were aware of the accident, help was on the way and they advised us to continue rather than try to run back on foot leaving the horse unattended. The police called us a week later for a statement.

You did the right thing OP, it isn’t difficult to risk assess in a few split seconds.

Aragog · 15/08/2018 15:47

With a small baby in the car it is not safe to stop on the hard shoulder.
You also saw at least one other person stop to assist.
This means someone had stopped to help, someone in a better position to do so than you on this occasion.

If you had hands free, then calling 999 would have been useful. Otherwise doing so at the first safe place to stop.

However, as you didn't - and with a small, hungry baby I can see why you may not have felt able to - calling the non emergency number now to give your details as a witness is a good idea.

safariboot · 15/08/2018 15:56

On the motorway, hell no. I would keep driving at a normal speed and dial 999 to report the accident. (It's legal to call handheld in an emergency, but I always have my phone in a handsfree holder anyway).

On city streets it's different. I've stopped to help someone who was in an accident before.

Rinoachicken · 15/08/2018 16:38

I remember my parents stopping to help at accidents on the motorway every single year we went on holiday. But my parents are a fireman and a nurse!

You had a tiny baby and it would have put you both at risk to have stopped, unnecessarily too as someone else had stopped.

Like someone said up-thread, if EVERYONE stopped for accidents there would be even more chaos!

But definitely call 101 and offer yourself as a witness. You often see signs on the roads asking for witnesses of an accident that happened days or weeks before - that says to me that they don’t expect everyone who sees it to stop, but they do hope people will contact them later with what they saw.

LakieLady · 15/08/2018 16:58

I think you did the right thing. Other people had stopped to give assistance. I'd definitely ring and offer to give a statement though.

My friend died in a crash that happened when she was stopped on the hard shoulder, and her toddler suffered life changing injuries. It's a very dangerous place to be.

CaptainCabinets · 16/08/2018 13:37

I don’t blame you for not stopping as it wasn’t safe, but posting about it on MN without calling 101 to give your witness statement as soon as you could is despicable.

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